The night before the first physiology exam, I was incredibly anxious. The little dude had recently had a growth spurt and had been waking up at night again. What if my post-partum brain fog returned on exam day? What if I needed to pump again during the 3 hours of exam time?

Most importantly, I began to doubt that I’d studied enough, or that I knew the exam material well enough to pass. I’d certainly been putting in enough study time. Every day in the week before the exam, I would barricade myself in the local coffee establishments for days at a time, pumping heavily caffeinated breastmilk every 2.5-3 hours (at my seat in the coffee place, behind a floral pumping cover, with my giant hospital pump dwarfing the tiny cafe table.)

I closed my notebook at 10 p.m., intending to get a sensibly early start on getting to sleep. I moved the bassinet into the hallway and delegated all middle-of-night babycare to my husband. I managed to get about 6 fitful hours of sleep and woke up feeling wired rather than rested.

I got to the auditorium for the exam a full hour early, so I pumped (again!) and read over my notes one last time before dashing to the mini mart for a gigantic cup of coffee. I gathered my sharpened pencils and took a deep breath. The exam felt more difficult than I had anticipated, and I plowed through slowly and carefully. I took a second pass over the questions I’d skipped, and they seemed less bewildering.

I finished with an hour to spare, and handed in my exam papers. I left to pump yet again and to while away the hours until the exam answer posting. I calculated my answers next to the posted sheet and, for what felt like the first time in weeks, breathed a deep and cleansing sigh of relief! I had passed!

Maternity Scrubs is a mama to one cute little dude, a wife, and a first year medical student. She also enjoys cooking delicious and healthy food, traveling, and listening to baby music!