Ashley's Bio

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My $30 laminate bookshelves sag beneath the weight of two years' worth of medical school books. Sometimes I glance at them, thinking how they have become a metaphor for my life since I started med school. They can just barely hold it together, but they are still standing. Even as I toss an extra pile of review books on top, they teeter, but never fall.

Being a medical student is like that. Trying to get from Monday to Monday without toppling over becomes a chronic endeavor. You grasp random facts, praying that they will not leak from your memory before your next test. Regurgitation on command becomes a newfound talent as you are "pimped" by those with longer coats than you. Student mailboxes become stuffed to the brim with grade sheets which may evoke terror or joy. And you simply must grin and bear it, delighting only in anticipation of that one day...when you will finally become a physician.

It is that desire that drives you to stay up late memorizing renal physiology or wake up early to review the brachial plexus. It keeps you focused on the task at hand, be it a micro test or writing your first H & P. It keeps you going every single day, in pursuit of your dream. "It" is different for each student, but nonetheless powerful to all. We need our imaginations to supplement the monotony of the studying.

Most important of all, med school has taught me who I really am and who I am capable of becoming. In the many hours spent alone studying, I have not only learned about medicine. I have learned about my self-discipline, my competitive nature, and my true hopes about what kind of a doctor I want to be. You quickly discover what kind of a family person you are and what you truly value in life. And, of course, you learn about weaknesses that you never knew you had. You learn how good of a friend you can be to others and how to stand up for yourself when people insult you. Many will also learn how to fail and gracefully pick yourself up afterwards to move on.

Nobody tells you this in an interview. Your upperclassmen don't tell you about it either. It is the aspect of med school that we are least able to face. You won't find it in your PDA or in the index of your Biochem book. The Dean of Students will not even hint at it. But this kind of personal growth is inevitable when facing so many challenges. Gunner or struggler, married or single, man or woman, we all will face personal decisions and situations in med school. So don't believe the ones who say you can't do it. Many people have survived before us and many will survive after us. You must be mentally prepared for the best and the worst. And above all, remember why you wanted it in the first place and hold on as tightly as you can.

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*Some names have been changed.