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We joked and giggled heartily at the expense of another
colleague. I was warm and tight cheeked with laughter. I hadn't laughed like that in weeks.
Moments later I sat next
to a woman 8 weeks pregnant fearing the death of her tiny embryo. I sat silent waiting for her exam to end, I would take her back to her room. I watched
the ultrasound image, a blob move around the screen in scratchy black and white.
She told us of her two abortions when she was young. She felt a need to apologize.
She had no need to apologize to me. She wanted this baby to live. She'd been
sent in by her doctor for fainting and bleeding. I waited as the technician
completed his exam. Then he found a heartbeat, she was overjoyed but cautious. I was in awe that a life so small could have a visible heartbeat.
I was relieved. It truly is a privilege to witness the most intimate, intense and private moments of strangers. How could I have been laughing so heartily a moment ago and
then sit next to this mother-to-be and witness her despair and hope unfold before my very eyes.
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*Some names have been changed.
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