Erin's Bio

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I have always felt that I was not cut out for the job my father has long worked at. So many of my peers have followed in the footsteps of mother or father, but I never had the desire to be a minister, preacher, or whatever the going term for that is these days. Yet here I am in the midst of medical school, and I can honestly say that it is a calling. I was called to do this just as my father was called to spread the word of God. And it is a ministry. Especially here, in the middle of the Bible belt. Never have I felt that more acutely than in psychiatry, which I am also in the midst of. I find that as often as I am suggesting psychotropic medications or an internal medicine consult, I am just as often spending extra minutes just being a human voice to my patients. It is often just as effective, and more comforting to the patient, to counsel and console rather than medicate and mend. I find that eyes roll among some of my classmates at times as I'm quietly accused of being too "touchy-feely" but I don't really care. To have reached this point in my training and to have not lost the side of me that led me here is a great achievement. I still feel human! And each patient that I see, as many of us tend to forget, is just as much a human being as you or I. Each person has a story to tell, sometimes an unspoken fear, and quite likely a very good biological, psychological, or social reason for awakening sleepy interns at 3 in the morning. (Not always, certainly).

I find the science of psychiatry fascinating, but I feel so helpless every day. It is a science of intangibles much of the time. And a science that often leads a practitioner into the depths of a person's soul, often into the pain and suffering of a lifetime's duration. That's both fascinating and frightening to me. Some of the things that I have heard are unimaginable. Some of the things that I have seen psychiatric patients do make you want to laugh and cry at the same time. To be able to even bring a minute of comfort to someone who seeks psychiatric treatment is a good day for me, but not something that I could do exclusively for the rest of my career. I am well aware of the prevalence of psychiatric disorders in the population that I will see as a family practitioner. I have a great appreciation for the knowledge that I have gained but I'm ready to move on. However, the opportunity to interact with this particular group of patients has taught me, more than anything, about a few things.

It has taught me about the power of words and emotions. About the power of providing reliability for a person who needs stability more than anything. And the power of a soothing, comforting presence for those who are in need. Is this medicine? Absolutely. Not the way that most of us think of it, but a large part of healing, indeed. Ministry? Perhaps. Not in the way that my father and his peers go about it, but a form of it nonetheless. So I suppose that I did follow in his footsteps in my own way, even if I never considered it before.

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*Some names have been changed.