Can anyone out there give me some perspective on this: I am 38 and single and have feelings for my FP male doctor. I feel very ashamed about it. He is a wonderful doctor - very professional, but still personable. I might add, he's African-American. I am white and have a 15-year-old biracial son. He's been my doctor for about five years. He's married and has children and seems like a pretty happy guy. I've always liked him and have often wondered what it would have been like to have a relationship with him had we met outside the context of doctor-patient and if he weren't married. I gave birth to twins (also biracial from a current, but different relationship) three months ago and he, along with a perinatologist helped deliver the twins. I'm having serious post-partum depression because while I was in labor and delivery, all I could think about was how much I wished the babies could have been his and how much I wished I could have met someone like him to have a relationship with. I certainly hope he doesn't have a clue as to what I feel. At my appointments, I try very hard not to smile too much and minimize small talk - I make it a point to keep it all business - as that is the appropriate thing to do. I would never want to do anything that would force him or me to sever our patient-doctor relationship.
It seems the whole pregnancy/delivery/post-partum thing merely intensified my latent feelings for him.
Do other women experience this? How do they handle it? I've been all over the web trying to find some type of discussion on this and if other women are experiencing this, they certainly aren't talking about it.
Do they address this matter in medical school? Do you think he knows or can tell that I have feelings for him (my blood pressure is always unusually high when HE takes it!). (Especially since it's obvious I prefer black men?) Please help me get some perspective on this. I'm getting post-partum counseling, but I'd like a doctor's take on this. Thanks.
Previous Topic
Index