I know a doctor, an excellent doctor, who I have admired for about a year and a half now. She delivered my son. She knows my plans, and I think she may think I'm nuts!
The deal is that she and I have many life circumstances that are similar. She's a mom and a pastor's wife for starters. Plus she is a perinatologist and maternal fetal medicine is what I really want to do.
A long time ago I asked her if I could shadow her and she said, "no". She had her receptionist tell me that it was due to her mal-practice insurance rules. I don't want to doubt her, but I got this funny feeling that she just didn't want to do it (which I could understand.)
Here's my question. Would it be weird, inappropriate, or anything for me to call her to ask her questions? I really want to know what her life is *really* like. How does she handle her busy schedule and the demands a congregation can put on a minister's wife? What exactly am I looking at if I do perinatology? etc...
I personally wouldn't mind at all if someone called me with questions like that. In fact, I would be flattered. But I don't know if my perceptions are the same as most other people's.

I would really like to call her...I just don't want to make her feel uncomfortable.

Natalie

Can you get her email address? I've found it's easier to approach people that way, first with a short email asking whether they'd mind if you asked them a few questions, can you call her or set up a time to meet, or would she prefer to communicate by email. If you can't do that, you could call her and ask whether you could set up a time to talk in person or by phone. If you are clear that you don't expect to talk NOW, it is much more comfortable for people. You'll also get a sense of whether she's cagey about talking as well-maybe she is unhappy with the choice she made, and isn't sure how to let you know?

Good luck.

Natalie, Curious where in TX are you?

I actually have had a somewhat similar experience w/ the Dr. who delivered two of my children. She is a perinatologist as well and I too have hopes of being an OB. During my last pregnancy I shared w/ her my desire to go to medschool and asked if after the delivery and I was back on track for classes/etc. if I could stay in touch w/ her. She was very warm and responsive to this idea so I felt good about it.

Over the next 6-12 months, I talked to her twice; once on a quick advice question and once to ask if I could shadow her. As she is involved in many administrative duties, she didn't feel that she would be a great one to shadow, but knew the medschool she was associated w/ had a formal shadowing program. She told me she would check w/ the director and get back to me. That was the last I heard from her. I called several times to follow up and then sent an email as I thought it might be easier, w/ her busy schedule, to respond that way. I never got a response.

It really puzzled & disappointed me because she had sounded so enthusiastic and helpful during our conversation; not at all like this was an inconvenience for her.

I absolutely understand your conflict. I've not tried to contact her since as my interpretation of the lack of response from her was that this was a nuisance for her. As she is not my regular OB, I have not seen her on a patient basis either. It's a bit sad for me as I thought she would be a great resource while I was headed down this path.

My advice to you would be to try and reach her via email and explain that even though you would not be able to shadow her, you would still appreciate the ability to contact her from time to time w/ questions/advice, etc. She may be responsive to that. If you don't get a good response, or any response, back; I would then move on to finding other dr. contacts.

If you volunteer in a hospital in L&D, you should encounter any number of OB's.

No, I do not think that is weird. Some physicians due to malpractice are very cautious of what they can/should do. I had the same situation with a pediatrician where she would not let me shadow her. I asked another physician (anesthesia) and he let me shadow him.

Another route to try, especially in competitive fields, is to check around to see which attendings at the local University hospital likes to be involved with med students to do research. Then set up an appoitment. If you really think you could devote time to doing the research let them know. And if so, ask if there is a chance that you may be able to shadow them in their daily clinical life. Once you start exposing yourself and your interest, new doors will open.

You know, I had much the same problem when I was pre-med. I had the toughest time finding doctors to shadow or serve as mentors. My school even had a program in place where doctors volunteered to serve as mentors. I emailed one of the physicians on the list- it was a guy I knew vaguely, as I'd helped him with a computer problem- but he never replied. My best luck was with the doctor at a local clinic for the working poor - he was thrilled to have me shadow him.
Once I got to medical school, I found that the majority of our clinical faculty love to have medical students work with them - I'm sure they'd feel similarly about pre-meds. You might have the best luck with doctors in academic medicine, since they work with students for a living.

Here in NYC it's just about impossible to find someone to shadow and most hospitals will tell you flat out: no shadowing. One hospital Volunteer Office even (basically) told me to get lost when I told them I was pre-med. It sounds crazy I know, but as soon as I said that it was as if I had said I was Mrs Osama Bin Laden - they basically hung up on me.

I can only assume that they have had numerous pre-meds ahead of me who may have wrecked it for those of us coming later.

So the hospitals etc here are pretty well burned out with streams of (possibly) irritating and aggressive pre-meds. Once I realized where THEY were coming from I changed my behaviour and was more sympathetic to these institutions who were trying to do their own work well and were looking for people who genuinely wanted to offer volunteer help, and not just rip them off for a nice experience on their resume.

I'm sorry, do I sound really cynical? I have just tried to see it from the Dr's/Hospital's points of view and it was really eye opening and helped me to change my own behaviour accordingly.

:yes: