Dear all,

I am a newcomer to the forum and I share some of the same dreams and concerns with most of you brave women! I am 32, a tenured university prof. and a mom (18 month old daughter) and I am about to begin my first pre-med courses this spring. You might be thinking why does she want to leave her secure academic job and enter medical school... let's just say that one day I woke up and I had a strong sense of personal fullfilment and duty towards my fellow human beings... Although I hold a Doctorate from an Ivy League school and am the quinticential over-achiever, I have no science background and I am terified of how I will perform in my Bio and Calculus classes this spring. On top of that most of my family member, excluding my husband, believe me to be an artist rather than a scientist!!! In any case, I have a 10 year dream to become a medical doctor, have another child and grow as a more caring and compassionate person... Is this all too ideal? Am I not in tune with the reality of what it really takes to go through Medical school... I've been reading a lot of books and I must say, none of them paint an easy life and it seems that fullfilment comes with a lot of pain, personal sacrifice and frustration in the medical world... then there's all the emotional baggage that people develop not to mention health hazards and complete abandonment of one's family for 7-10 years... Why are we willing to endure this then? it must be something more than compassion, self fullfilment and achievement? Is there divinity and selflessness that leads to higher and deep spiritual knowledge in the world of practicing medicine? Are these things that Doctors think about? Or is it only money, money, money???

Take it from someone who is low man on the totem pole in her practice spiritual fufillment is a big expectation to demand from any vocation or job-those may be desires that no career can fufill and leaving you feeling spiritually empty. My desire to pursue medicine is the challenge intellectually and the chance to help people understand and try to manage their illness. I am a born-again Christian and that may color my view a bit as to the role that a job is to play in your life but I would see it as tragic if the career left you feeling empty from an unrealistic demand put on it. I would suggest you speak to a clergy member and perhaps take a career and spiritual gifts inventory before embarking on such an exhausting and expensive course of training.

Yes, as a nurse, I can say that there is indeed, for me, an aspect of "divinity and selflessness" in the practice of medicine. I'm sure money can be a factor for many, but I doubt it is the priority for most physicians-to-be.
Those in the medical profession deal with real, raw human experience. Rarely, at least in the hospitals at which I have worked, is there room for pretension.
Sometimes I pray before I go to work, "God,let my hands be Yours and my touch be Yours and my words be Yours." It's just a wonderful way to focus on the manner in which I want to take care of my patients. (Sometimes, though, especially with the drunks, I think God cusses - at least under His breath!)
What a struggle a decision of this magnitude is, isn't it? The 10 year plan sounds doable although surely there will be sacrifices especially pertaining to time with your family and our best-laid plans may not always come to fruition. What I am trying to do, is enjoy each class, to value the brain exercise and challenge, to celebrate each little victory (they're not that little are they?) and to relish each step achieved. Sometimes - last semester's Calculus class is an excellent case in point - I cry hard because it is physically painful to study after a long day's work and after spending necessary time with loved ones all the while knowing that I must do well in these premed courses. The pressure is stifling at times. But, and I think many of us feel this, there is just this DRIVE that keeps us going! Our motivations for pursuing a life as a physician may be spiritual, monetary, intellectual, or as individual as each one of us. Whatever propels us forward, and however fast we accomplish or even if we never accomplish what we've set out to do, I am convinced that the pursuit of the dream is still worth it.
Love, Renate

I think intellectual challenge, fulfillment, achievment, high social prestige are the big draws for many people who want to be doctors. Remember there are many, many professions that serve humanity -- in education, religion, social work, etc... And many of these professions are less stressful and less extreme in the training, and have just as much potential to spirituality. Even art can serve humanity and seek spiritual enlightenment.

I think many people feel medicine is truly their calling. After all, their are easier ways to make lots of money. Their are also less stressful jobs which entail serving one's community, even in healthcare settings. However, the pessimist in me feels that there are also many who pursue this path because they want the prestige associated with it. Also, many doctors and doctors-to-be are over achievers and perfectionists. Perhaps some need to take the hardest road because they need to prove something. I dunno. Maybe a combination of all of the above.

Sadly for few Drs that I know, it's about $money$ they don't care about people.

I don't know how can one ever be a really good Dr thinking like that

Hello,

As a very spiritually-oriented MD with two small kids, I would urge you to search your heart long and hard to really analyze your reasons for wanting to embark on the path of medical training. Even without a family, medical training is very grueling and certainly leaves little time for anything else (including spirituality). I agree with the previous poster that if it is spiritual fulfillment only that you are looking for, you should definitely meet with your spiritual director and discover what are your spiritual gifts and how should you best use them. Also consider the book "Purpose Driven Life", written from a Christian perspective. That book changed my life.

Perhaps you could start a ministry of some sort? What are your hobbies and interests? What groups of people do you want to target? Sick people need a lot of help from a team of people, not just physicians.

What about your personal life? Are you using your tendency to be an overachiever to become the very best mother and wife that you can be? Is there room for improvement? Could you translate some of your love for humanity to loving and helping your imediate family become fulfilled? Are you maximizing your talents with your current career?

I have warned on these forums in the past about letting pride, ego and caring about what others think letting us guide our decisions because we may not even be aware that these factors are coming into play. (I write about this from experience!)These things can be so subtle and I wish I had been more aware so I mention them. I do not know if any of these are an issue for you specifically but consider it and talk to your trusted advisors about it.

Also, beware of the tendency some of us intellectual types have to complicate our lives. We often complicate that which is actually very simple. I find that most of us know when we are embarking on a path that is not the best one for us.

It may seem more glamorous to be an "ER" doc than a "Desperate Housewife" but the truth is both are very important and spiritually fulfilling roles.