Hi all,

I had a thread here sometime ago, called "relationship dilemma." To update, you have been completely right. My husband was indeed having an affair for at least a year while I was preparing for medical school. To make the matters worse, the woman turned out to be his former 21 yo student whom he occasionally mentioned to me as a "friend" (and he is 34). Typical, huh?

Anyway, I was completely oblivious to the situation even though now I realize that I had seen all the signs of an affair. After confronting him and realizing that he sees nothing wrong with having lined up a second relationship while at the same time lying to me about what is going on, I had no choice but to consider divorce. In a way, I feel relieved. It is good to find out that we want different things out of life before it is too late. I wanted children and family and he wanted a 21 year old bimbo.
How can I ever build a future with a man who now tells me that "he never felt married"? While it still hurts now that I got so disappointed in a man whom I trusted 100%, I do believe that our separation is for the best.

What I wanted to ask on this forum: Do any of you know a good divorce lawyer in Manhattan? Perhaps you have relatives or friends who have gone through a divorce and they may recommend one. I have tried to search for a lawyer on my own, and attended 3 consultations with different laywers, out of which I got mixed/polarized advice. I am not really happy with any of them, and I wanted to ask for your advice.

Thank you very much!

I don't have any advice about lawyers, but I justa wanted to say I'm sorry to hear about your marital problems. I hope you're Okay and you can move on quickly.
:grouphug:

I am also separated, so I wanted to wish you luck, and I'm glad you're going thru this before you started a family so you can begin again more easily. I am not in your area. My lawyer came recommended from my counselor, and is great. But my husband and I are mainly using a mediator and that seems to help things go more smoothly. My lawyer also happens to do pro bono work for the womens shelter - I don't know if contacting an organization in your area might get you some good names.
By the way I read your old post just now, and my husband and I also had a long-distance marriage for awhile, in our case for 3yrs. Looking back on it, I think it was a reflection of a problem in the marriage - that we couldn't get our act together enough to live in the same house during that time. I looked the other way about it back then, and made excuses.