Hi Everyone!
I'm not sure if I need advice or just to know if anyone else has been in this dilemma. I am a mother of 3 kids who began a family right after college. Although we all know where babies come from, I have to admit our first one was unplanned. After working very hard and graduating in three years with great grades and mcat scores, I decided to let go of my medical school dream until I was done having kids. Now my 3rd is 1.5 years, and I'm ready to go back to school. I am 31 years old, and I worked up until a year ago as a cell biologist and took classes, so I would be marketable in both the job force and as a possible medschool applicant.
My husband, however, is in an MBA program and does deserve to further his career as well. So, I'm waiting until he is done which should be in about 2 years. I understand that many women go back to medschool at all different points of their life, but I am worried about incurring medical school expenses at a time when my oldest will be going to college with two others on his tail. He is 8 years old now. It seems all very daunting financially. Not to mention, having to pay for a nanny when I am not bringing in income.
I feel I worked very hard for my goals, and I have a lot to offer. At the suggestion of my physician dad and nurse mom, I tried out nursing as a short term goal to get me back into the clinical setting without much time committment. A couple of years ago, I was recruited by the University of Pittsburgh to be in their first class of a new accelerated BSN program fully funded. I did accept, completed it with a 4.0, and hated every minute of it. Nursing (masters, PhD level, or whatever)is totally different than medicine, and although I have total respect for nurses, it's not for me. It has only further confirmed my desire to go into medicine.
So what to do, I'm kind of waiting around for my kids to grow (like waiting for water to boil) and my husband to finish his school. I'm not the stay at home mom type, and I'm feeling kind of stuck. Anyone else out there feeling the same?

I am kinda in the same boat. I don't think you should put it off too long if it's what you really want. That is was student loans are for. The average med student graduates with ~150K in student loans. By the time you are a Dr. you will be able to afford paying this back and putting your kids into college.

I am 28 and working FT as a molecular genetics research tech. I have always wanted to go to med school. I took all the prep classes and even got a masters to help with my resume. But, I never applied...instead I go t married bought a house and now have a 6 month old son. I am thinking about applying now, but it would mean selling the house and spending a lot let time with my family. My DH is just starting out in his career and doesn't make much, so we'd have to rely a lot on loans! I just don't know if I should put my family through that...but, somehow I think it will all work out. I think we are in the same boat...good luck with your decision.

Why can't you both be in school? My husband is in a PhD program right now, and will be for the forseeable future. (He will probably finish 6 months to a year before me.) Definitely he has to work really hard. Definitely he is driven to excellence in his career. We both love our childen (3 year old twin boys) more than anything so once I start school in 2.5 months, we're intending our lives to be pretty much exclusively school and family. I'd planned originally to wait till he was done with school, but then the bug hit. Hard. It's really good that I didn't, because my husband will be taking longer than anticipated, largely due to his having to keep working at least a part time "real" job to help pay the bills.

Personally, I've got to believe that both people can be driven in their careers/schooling and still be good parents.

If your marriage is solid, full of mutual respect, and you've got kids who can adapt, I'd say go for it. You've only got one life.

I guess I'm mostly worried about incurring childcare expenses for 3 kids. I had to quit working this year because childcare was too expensive. Keeping up with the mortgage, tuition, money for kids activities, etc. seems to be the biggest obstacle.

This may not be helpful to you at all....but I have 3 kids, and this year we just got a live-in nanny. For us (where we live) this is MUCH more affordable than daycare for three, and frankly, it's so much more convenient. I was worried about someone living with us at first, but after some initial awkwardness, she's just like a member of our family. Plus she does my laundry!!
Could you consider something like that? Or an au pair?

"The average med student graduates with ~150K in student loans. By the time you are a Dr. you will be able to afford paying this back and putting your kids into college."

OMG, this is so wrong! Please see my post in the discussions forum, but in a nutshell, I am a family doc, finished training in 2000 with $154 K in principle on my loans from med school, and don't forsee myself being out of debt before my first grandchild is born! I make $100 k / year in private practice full time. My business pays my health and malpractice insurance. After taxes and student loans, my net take home pay is around $41,000/year.

My husband is an attorney with his own practice (in business for himself for 4 years now after 4 years of working in big firms), has his own loans from law school (that we're working to pay off--financially makes more sense to do his first) thus works as hard as I do, and we just finally had our first baby 7 months ago. We do not get to see our daughter much at all--thank God my mom watches her while I'm at work as I don't know how we'd pay for childcare (plus my mom is the next best thing to me watching her). My husband and I are both miserable with our life situation--all we do is work, I don't get paid nearly what I'd worth/for how hard I work, and we have no flexibility in our lives due to student loan debt. I regret going to med school, wish I could do something else with my life, but as I have no training/education in anything else, I am stuck being a doctor to pay off this debt.

I know from talking with my colleagues and from polls done by the AMA and other such organizations, that I am by far not alone in feeling this way.

Be absolutely sure this is what you want to do with your life and do your homework to really know just what you are getting into.

I tend to think theweebee is correct. I forsee being >$150,000 in debt considering we have to pay for childcare and other child related expenses such as their activities which aren't cheap. We have no family where we live or near any medical schools. When I graduate, I will be paying back my debt, saving for retirement, and helping pay for the kids' college as well. That's a really risky move. Thanks for all the advice. I think sometimes business sense should also be considered when making this kind of committment. After all, I'm not sure how happy I'd be following a dream if it ended in a ton of debt and never having had seen my kids grow up.
Thanks again everyone.

Gee, weebee. I'm really sorry medicine has been such a disappointment. Were you this unhappy before you had your daughter or did becoming a parent cause you to regret your choice?

I think I read in your post that your oldest child is 8yo - so you've been putting off your career plans for 8yrs (?) and it is your turn therefore, and husbands turn to put on hold... is there anything going on in the marriage that is contributing to things??

I just wanted to throw in a short bit on my experience as a mom of 3 with a working husband while in med school. I delayed my entry into med school by about 8 years becuase of our babies and the expense of childcare, plus my husband's career.

I'm very happy with the way things have gone. I was not a very happy SAHM, but I'm very happy for the years I had at home with my kids. Now I'm very fulfilled in med school with school-age kids. The fact that they're all in school helps tremendously with the childcare costs. We are currently able to get by with an afterschool sitter. We did have an AP for about 2 years prior to this Spring.

Yes, we have added a serious debt load, mostly in the form of loans to cover childcare! (state school tuition being a small part of that.) Anyway, we figure my residency "pay" will cover paying back a chunk of that debt. We are fortunate enough to be able to live well with the income my husband makes. And yes, we'll be paying college tuition shortly after I finish residency.

It can be done. You can be happy. Just be sure it's what you want and that your family is well prepared for the sacrifices, financial and otherwise.