Things are going pretty well. It's been a whirlwind adjustment for the au pair because we took her with us on our family trip to CO the week after she started. (by car!)

It's amazing how much easier it is to run errands and get things done now that she's here. Last week I spent 4-5 hours with each of my kids individually, doing something they wanted to do. (unfortunately that meant seeing Shark Boy twice!) They were all glad to have some "mommy & me" time.

The au pair situation takes some getting used to because it does mean that there is now another person in our household that we need to consider when making plans, or just making dinner. I think that will get easier with time.

I'm glad she came while I'm on vacation so that we have time to iron out all the wrinkles. (like what sort of discipline we use, what to feed the kids, etc.) I will say that my daughter, also the oldest, is having the hardest time adjusting. She wants the au pair to do everything exactly the way I do it and that's just not feasible. Everyone is different. By the end of the week, though, she was settling down as well.

I hope things work as smoothly once my classes start up again on Aug 1. I'm looking forward to being able to concentrate more on school this semester and spending less time worrying about the crazy daycare and all the little household things. (our au pair straightens up the kitchen and makes snacks & meals for the kids!)

Oh, and au pairs work about 45 hrs/week.

So I'll share with y'all some things I've learned about nannies/APs.

For those who don't know, we let our au pair go at the end of July. What seemed like small personality issues that I kept glossing over became major issues the last week of July. In retrospect, what I excused as natural homesickness and unhappiness with all the changes in her life turned out to be an AP who wasn't happy with anything (including the food I made!), didn't sleep at night, and made the rest of the family miserable. My kids were not sorry to see her go!

So, like I've been told many times by other moms, sometimes you have to try out several people before you find the right one! the AP has since found another family to work for and we have found another AP. She won't be here until mid-September, but we have the daycare as backup until then.

What I learned:
-Interview lots of people, even if you think the first or second one is wonderful!
-Trust your gut instinct about people.
-Let your kids be a barometer. If they aren't adjusting to her, maybe it's her and not your kids that are the problem.
-Set your expectations clearly at the beginning and try not to make exceptions too early in the relationship. Otherwise, asking for exceptions becomes the norm. This happened to us!

I still feel strongly that having someone in our home will be much better for the kids, so I'm willing to give it another try. This will be our 3rd babysitter in the last year, but I hear that's pretty normal in the beginning. Fortunately the kids are older and not upset about it. We're learning as we go!

The new AP is from Brazil and I love her enthusiasm and her appreciation of the importance of our kids to us. I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

Hey
I use to be a au pair/nanny and my only advice is to make sure the nanny is fun and open. You don't want a dull nanny around you and your children. So go outside of your "ideal" nanny and get a person with spunk.
As you see I was a spunk filled nanny :laughing:

All I have to say on this subject, with years of child care issues all behind me now, is if you are having an in-home caregiver with small children, GET A NANNY-CAM. I really really REALLY wish I had had access to that technology when my kids were little. I still feel guilty about some of the stuff that went on, that I didn't find out about til later, and I feel lucky that nothing worse happened, knowing now what could have. When my children start having kids, I will provide the nanny-cam myself if they can't afford one.

Our new AP arrived this evening. I've been trading emails with her on a daily basis since we selected each other last month. The kids have responded really well to her already. She even brought gifts for everyone that were specific for their hobbies or personalities. So sweet!

With any luck, this is finally the solution to the childcare drama in our lives. :crossfingers:

We are in the process of transitioning au pairs right now. We have had a wonderful, loving, fun, energetic Mexican au pair with us for the last year. She and my son LOVE one another and I have no worries when I am at work, or if my husbands travel happens to fall on a call night. I would offer the following advice, that I have learned over the last year:
Don't become TOO personally involved. As tough as that sounds secondary to the fact that they are caring for your child. We went way above and beyond for our AP, paying her more money, bending our curfew rules, taking her to the Caribbean...all because we really liked her and wanted her to do an extension year. WHich she initally agreed to then backed out of. Try to maintain some professionalism and a business sense about it.
We have a new Mexican AP coming next month, and I'm just hoping she'll be as good, and that I can follow my own advice.

Thx, ams, for sharing your advice. I'm glad you had such a positive experience. Our aupair is settling in pretty well so far. I'm also doing my best to maintain a more professional relationship. It's a tough balance because I want her to feel happy and welcome, but at the same time I need her to respect me as an employer. Tricky stuff.

Happily, she is so much better than the first gal we had. My plan is to stick hard and fast to the rules and schedules we planned so that the right expectations are set. I believe part of my mistake with the first gal was that we immediately took her with us on a vacation and tried to accomodate every single thing she asked for. (even when it wasn't best for us)

Good luck with your new AP and please share any other gems of wisdom!

ps- our AP can cook and likes to!

Just wanted to update.

Our AP is a gift from heaven! She's much more laid back and quiet than our family tends to be, so she really provides a nice balance to all the energy and intensity we have going on around here. She cooks for the kids, makes healthy snacks everyday, helps them with their homework and just generally provides a wonderful positive energy to our home. I really couldn't be any more pleased. :goodvibes:

I have a question for all of you have have used or currently use a nanny. To give you some information about my situation, I am 22 years old with a college degree, and 3 years previous nannying experience. I am married and am currently a live out nanny for two children, ages 6 and 8. I work between 40 and 55 hours a week. Aside from the usual nanny responsibilities I also am responsible for homeschooling both children. I do all lesson planning and educating of both children. My question is about my salary. I make $380/week and I feel this is unfair. In my previous jobs, I was paid hourly, and never made less than $10/hr, yet I never had the responsibilities I have in this job.
Do you think it is unreasonable for me to ask for a raise and what would you say is a fair salary? Thank you for taking the time to read this!

I have a question for those with Nannies/APs. How do you handle it when your Nanny tells you she's having a problem with the kids and brings up the fact that she can leave your family if it doesn't work out?

The problem is, she's very very quiet and my kids have been very very loud lately. They're not listening well to her and my daughter has been yelling at her brothers an awful lot lately. I understand the APs concerns and wish to have a more peaceful interaction with the kids, but I also feel a little threatened by the reminder that she can just up and leave me stranded.

I've had several conversations with my kids (school age) and I think we can work this out pretty easily. It helps that my husband's recent travel is now finished and my last final exam is in a week. It's just that this conversation makes me feel uncomfortable and vulnerable when it comes to our childcare. I've had such a tough time finding good childcare and this young woman is wonderful. I don't want to lose her, and I don't want to feel threatened abou it either!

In her defense, she put it in a very positive way "I love your family and you all are so good to me, I just can't imagine staying here another 9 months with this situation with the kids." She did NOT say "change things or I'll leave."

Any thoughts?