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#47059 - 07/02/06 09:55 PM Re: Nanny/AuPair 101
phillymedschoolmom Offline
Member

Registered: 02/01/06
Posts: 154
Loc: Temple, Philadelphia
My two cents:

It is worth whatever money you have to borrow for peace of mind that your children are safe and happy while you are at work.

The place we had our daughter at this year was...ok. Not great and we had all kinds of little fights with them. It was draining and frustrating (and we found a new spot for next year).

Also, if your husband can't/won't help at night - then, I think you better prepare to hire someone to live with you, or a night nurse or something. people mean very different things when they say "sleeping through the night". Is that 6 hours? 8 hours? and usually whenever the baby(ies) get sick, are teething, etc...not usually sleeping the night those nights. And Murphy's law says, it will never be the same nights as each other.

if you had someone who could live-in (like a student, the room and board idea from before) and help out at night - perhaps they could drop/pickup at daycare for a little extra money, or you could hire another student part-time to at least pick up - there are lots of options.

however, in terms of peace of mind and stability, (especially with limited family support) you might need to pay for some more expensive option.

off the top of my head example: if you had an au pair who could pick up the kids from daycare, make dinner and help out overnight, get the kids to daycare and then have days free, that would be under the 45hr rule. but, you would need daycare for the daytime hours.

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#47060 - 07/03/06 08:32 AM Re: Nanny/AuPair 101
Baby Einstein Offline
Super Elite Member

Registered: 11/17/05
Posts: 1728
Quote:
Originally posted by phillymedschoolmom:
if you had someone who could live-in (like a student, the room and board idea from before) and help out at night - perhaps they could drop/pickup at daycare for a little extra money, or you could hire another student part-time to at least pick up - there are lots of options.
I was just thinking about that. Daycare + babysitter/nanny/au-pair for the evenings. I don't know if it would be cheaper for you, and it may be more complicated logistically

But 50 hours a week with twin infants makes for long long days, no matter how much you pay the nanny. Some evenings, I'm watching the clock to see how much longer before my DH is home to relieve me. That's with only one child, who's MINE! You may get better care for your children if you split the task... maybe? :twocents:

Good luck to you. You'll get through it, no matter what!

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#47061 - 07/08/06 01:27 PM Re: Nanny/AuPair 101
tsunami Offline
Plus Member

Registered: 05/01/06
Posts: 90
Loc: San Francisco Bay Area
Baby nurses: Did anyone use a baby nurse after you had your babies? Was it helpful? My friend suggested it to me because I'm having twins, and will be recovering from 4 months of bedrest and c-section after we bring the babies home. We don't have family near-by, and my DH managed to go on so many vacations by himself this year that he has saved only 1 wk of vacation for after the boys are born, so I'll be home alone with the babies right from the start. How long does it take to recover from a c-section? Will being on bedrest for over 4 months really make me that deconditioned? Calling around, the going rate is $2000/week for a baby nurse. Is it worth it?

Back to your question about combining daycare and nanny at night: Actually sending the twins to daycare during the day and then hiring someone for the night would end up being way more expensive, since daycare will cost almost the same as having a nanny for the day, and then we would still have to pay the night person. Also, the risk with daycare is that if either baby gets sick, I have no backup daycare. I also can't take any more time off work because I'm using up all my leave for the pregancy and the bedrest for the remainder of my fellowship.

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#47062 - 07/08/06 05:13 PM Re: Nanny/AuPair 101
berkleyite Offline
Member

Registered: 06/26/05
Posts: 158
tsunami- some programs allow you to take off time and then add it to the end of the fellowship thus extending the fellowship by that amount. would that be an option here?

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#47063 - 07/08/06 08:27 PM Re: Nanny/AuPair 101
phillymedschoolmom Offline
Member

Registered: 02/01/06
Posts: 154
Loc: Temple, Philadelphia
I guess I didn't figure it would be cheaper to get more help - just that you might actually need more help.

Remember a C-section is surgery. You will need recovery time.

Thinking happy thoughts in your direction!

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#47064 - 07/08/06 08:54 PM Re: Nanny/AuPair 101
sahmd Online   content
Super Elite Member

Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 1642
tsunami, I was pretty deconditioned after 4.5 months of bedrest. My legs got really skinny and I got short of breath and tired after climbing one flight of stairs. It is hard to know how much of the SOB and fatigue was due to the term pregnancy, though. After I went off bedrest at 37 weeks, I made an effort to get out and about every day, and my symptoms did seem to lessen during the two weeks prior to delivery.

My husband took 1 day off from work after the baby was born, BTW.

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#47065 - 07/09/06 03:42 AM Re: Nanny/AuPair 101
tsunami Offline
Plus Member

Registered: 05/01/06
Posts: 90
Loc: San Francisco Bay Area
Thanks for everyone's replies. I guess I don't really know how much help I am going to need. Being a parent for the first time and having twins is really scaring me. I don't know the first thing about babies. Even during peds rotation in med school, they wouldn't really let any of the med students examine or get near the infants.

I would like more help, but in reality, we can't afford it. The 2nd mortgage we are taking would cover the salary for one daytime nanny since I am unpaid these 6 months I am out. As for a baby nurse, that sounds really nice, but DH and I talked about it, and unless we can pay the baby nurse with credit card, we can't do it. We're just trying to cut everything down to the necessities...

I'm not complaining that DH only has 1 wk off for the delivery and after the babies are born. I'm kind of ticked off that he gets 4 wks of vacation and he's used it all up. Even after we found out we were having twins, he has gone on surfing vacations for 1 wk at a time, alone or with one other surf buddy. In fact, he's gone surfing this week while I'm at home on bedrest.

BERKLEYITE - I am already taking off extra time from fellowship that I need to make up at the end. My original finish date was June 2007, but I'm going to have to make up 6 months at the end of fellowship due to all the time on bedrest and 8 wks off after the babies are born. It doesn't seem like enough time. It's not a problem with the fellowship program as long as I am back for my inpatient service Mar, Apr, May, & Jun, but because I have to make up 6 months through Dec 2007, I will miss the deadline for both my subspecialty boards.

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#47066 - 07/09/06 09:37 AM Re: Nanny/AuPair 101
merri Offline
Super Elite Member

Registered: 09/01/03
Posts: 718
mad mad mad mad
Ok - I don't even know what to say about your husband taking surfing vacations while you're pregnant... I nearly screamed at the computer.
mad mad mad mad

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#47067 - 07/09/06 09:45 AM Re: Nanny/AuPair 101
AnnaM Offline
Super Elite Member

Registered: 08/22/05
Posts: 1021
Loc: midwest
tsunami, what is your subspecialty? I don't think it would be a problem to get hired somewhere as a "board-eligible" doc when you finish your fellowship, until your next boards date comes up.
I'm mad at your hubby for going surfing and leaving you alone on bedrest, esp. if money is tight.
And what kind of med school teaches peds without letting students examine the kids? That's just nuts. I'll have to remember to tell my students how lucky they are the next time I teach newborn exams.

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#47068 - 07/09/06 03:35 PM Re: Nanny/AuPair 101
sahmd Online   content
Super Elite Member

Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 1642
My husband went on a skiing vacation when I was 36 weeks pregnant and on bedrest. mad I think they know that after delivery, it will be a long time before they have that kind of freedom again. :rolleyes: But it's no fun to be alone and on bedrest...and in your case, the finances make it that much worse. frown I hope he realizes that since he is essentially vetoing the baby nurse, he will have to be up some nights helping with the babies.

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