Hello everyone and Happy New Year!

I have been reading over the threads of unhappy docs and how you juggle career and family. I was wondering if there are any docs (or med students, or residents) that dont have or dont have plans for children and what do you think of your job/career choice...
I have read and taken into consideration what has been said about being a doctor, loans, hours, and so forth. I decided to talk to as many doctors face to face and get as much information as possible.
I recommend that to everyone who is thinking about medicine.
I am 33 now, I dont have plans for children. I am having a hard time finding doctors in that situation.
Good Luck and good health to everyone for the upcoming year!
Hail

Hi!

I am in my early 30s with no children (and no plans for any in the near future anyway) and am recently board-certified in internal medicine (finished residency and passed boards in 2004). I have not stepped into a hospital/office since I graduated …

I am not in any type of practice mainly because I have realized that medicine is not the right choice for me – at least not at this point. I was miserable, but I know residents from my class who are actually quite content practicing internal medicine as hospitalists, in private practice, etc. I agree with you that you must talk to a lot of people to get an idea of what physicians are going through, and I am not sure where you are education-wise, but I STRONGLY encourage all pre-meds to shadow as much and as extensively with a resident and/or attending as possible to understand exactly what your life will be like. It’s really not enough to ask questions and talk. I did not do enough to know what the day-to-day life was going to be like (and both of my parents are physicians- I conceitedly just assumed I knew what to expect) and later struggled to figure out why I was so miserable.

I guess my point is, all doctors are subject to the same forces. Mothers have more time management issues – no question. Ultimately, you need to know who you are and why you really want to be a doctor. If you are doing it for the “right” reasons (and of course you define what is right for you), then it won’t matter what anyone else is saying and/or doing. You will look past all of the crap and know that you are following your heart. If you do it for the “wrong” reasons, you will be miserable and constantly see the negative.

Sorry if I have been too preachy – I just don’t want anyone to make the same mistakes I did.
Best of luck and best wishes.

Hi,
I'm an EM intern, and have no children. Don't really have any desire for them, either. Now that may change, but I'm almost 29, and I haven't had any "gotta have a baby" urges. I thought about it in med school, but it was mostly because I was going to have about 5 months off, and I'd never had that kind of time off in my life (or would I ever again.) After some serious thought and reflection, it dawned on me that I really didn't want a child, and it was very liberating to accept that not having children was ok.

I should also add that I'm in a home situation which I wouldn't necessarily want to bring a child into... at least not until things get better - if they ever do. My husband is an alcoholic, and has been struggling considerably with sobriety, finding work, etc. I'm also an intern, and had no clue how I'd stay sane if I had to worry about a child as well as my husband.

If it happens down the road, so be it. But for now, I'm quite happy to be child-free. I enjoy taking care of kids, and am comtemplating doing a peds-EM fellowship when I finish. I love that my options aren't limited, and that I don't have to worry about saving for offsprings' college. (Just paying it off!)

I have several dogs and cats, who are easy to care for, and several hobbies that make my life even more fulfilling. I love what I do (even though things are pretty rough), and am really looking forward to the rest of the year. I've gotten the majority of my rough off-service rotations done, so have a bunch of EM time coming up. (Yay!)

I thought about medicine a long time before I took the plunge - even took time off and worked in the "real world." This time made me realize that I love academia, and that I was willing to make the sacrifices of medicine. Note that this is Emergency Medicine... not primary care, which was a whole different ball of wax, and something I don't think I'd be very happy doing. Ok, no, something I wouldn't be very happy doing for long at all. I worked my ass off to land the residency of my choice, and I'm very happy with how things are working out. Some call it a "lifestyle specialty," and yes, it fits my lifestyle perfectly. (For evample, I don't care about working on New Years Eve night. Hell, bring it on.) But I work just as hard as my colleagues in other fields - I just get to do it without rounding.

I firmly believe that picking the right specialty for you is just as - if not more - important than chosing medicine or not to begin with. Picking one with a good lifestyle is a darn good perk, though.

I'm rambling, and I've now written a novel. Oh well. But that's my 2c.
Danielle, PGY 1.5