Hello! School is starting back up in less than 2 months and I am having a heck of a time deciding on childcare. What do you guys think is best for a 5 month old boy??? We used a nanny for a couple months last year but that was a bad experience- she was messy, late, slept all the time....and more. How can you really know what a stranger is like? We can't get an au pair because we live in a 2 bedroom apartment- unless she shared it with the baby. But, I don't think a daycare is a good idea for a baby under the age of 1. He needs lots of 1-1 time. A daycare would ease my anxiety about what is happening while I am away though- with many workers abuse risk would be almost zero. I feel guilty no matter what option I consider- any input?

I'd do someone who did in-home care for 2-3 kids. Get references from her other people, or past people, and have a "trial" contract of a couple of monthe. Make sure you have this stuff in writing. I know a couple of women (one whom I'd recommend, one not so much) who do this out here, charging about the same rates as childcare centers would (or a bit less, even) and there are fewer children being cared for by a provider. It's certainly the way I'd go for professional care in a more baby-friendly environment. (For the record, I think that the social benefits of a childcare center don't start till around 18 months-2 years, when kids start appreciating the other kids in the room.)

Of course, I was in a very different situation at a time, but I was really happy my baby was in day care. You just have to find the right place. He started at 4 months and he had multiple health issues. I knew it was a place I could trust, the babies socialized, were fed and napped on a schedule, and he really bonded with the care provider despite the fact that there were other kids around. Perhaps, I was just lucky, but I found the day care experience gave me peace of mind and time to do my school work!

I personally prefer daycare. I agree that a good nanny of in-home daycare would be the perfect option, but I'm just very uneasy with someone taking care of my child on a daily basis without any supervision/regulations/other adult around. Just the fact that there are several daycare workers in one room is a huge relief for me: they can check on each other, and it's much less likely that they are all evil! If you do choose the nanny option, make sure you use a nannycam!!! My neighbor had a nanny who just watched soap opera all day and didn't pay attention to her infant. She would never have known without the nannycam.

I understand your concerns about less one-on-one contact though... But think of twins or kids who are born very close together: they have less 1:1 time with their parents or caregivers than a firstborn singleton, but they're just fine anyway! In my state, the infant room has a 1:4 ratio, so it's not too bad, especially when you consider how much the tiny ones sleep and how the older ones start keeping themselves busy a little more. Anyway, that's my choice even though it has a lot of shortcomings.

Good luck with your decision, and don't feel guilty. You're a great mom and you're choosing what is best for you and your baby.

I feel the same way about a solo unsupervised adult with my little man. How often does your baby get sick? I have heard daycare kids can expect 2 viruses a month and they last about 2 weeks which makes me think he would be sick 100% of the time! What has been your experience? Also, do you feel like your bond is still strong with you baby after him being away all day? I did school mostly from home last year but this year will be different and I'm worried that he won't know me anymore.

Supposedly, the virus thing is going to happen whenever your kid starts being in a group setting, be it 8 weeks old or kindergarten. It was certainly true of my boys at 2.5. Wanna know the fastest way to get precarious biochem stuff to fall out of your head? Get a call an hour before the final that your kid has pinkeye and must be picked up immediately.

The first 2 months were a disaster. All the time I got calls when I was on my way to class or at work or anywhere but able to pick them up. (They started in their childcare 3 weeks before the MCAT, due to circumstances beyond my control.) But now we're at about 10 months, and I can't really remember the last time either boy was ill at school. (Now, febrile seizures at 10PM Friday night with mother-in-law visiting, that's another story.)

Yes, be ready for a few rough months at first. My son was sick constantly, so much that we ended up pulling him out. Luckily we had the option of my mother-in-law taking care of him. He's going back in July though, and hopefully it will be a little better.

Here is a thread I started back then. People gave me lots of good info that you can read. http://www.mommd.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=5;t=000675#000000