I'm not sure how many of you read about the "Day of Purity" where teenagers pledged the virtues of abstinence. No s.ex until marriage.

What are your thoughts on se.x education? What works? What doesn't?

I am all for education; however the stats from the nineties showed that the big sex ed programs did NOT cut down on the rates of teenage preg, STD's etc. BUmmer!

I live in Oklahoma and we have one of the highest rates of teen pregnancy in the nation (I belive we are #1- not something to be proud of). We have sex ed, planned parenthood easily accessed as well as the health department--all free birth control and education from professionals. It clearly doesn't work.

And I want to make it *clear* that I am not against sex education....but if it's not working, it's just not working ya know?

If teens are out there pledging no sex till marriage, I say good for them. Even if they dont wait till they are married, at least till they are old enought to handle the emotional aspects of sex and if they become pregnant, the choices they would have to make with that.

Teens are under a lot of peer pressure to have sex (and most of them choose not to use birth control even if its available), so if they can be peer-pressured into waiting that is oviously better.

I lost my virginity at the age of 13, so I just remember how stupid I was back then and how much pressure was put on me to have sex by friends, the boy, ans the media doesn't help either. The boy had a condom but we didn't use it because I just did not think I could get pregnant.

Girls need to be empowered and they are not....

Marilyn

You hit upon an important point - empowering girls. Educating girls is the key... how can this be accomplished?

How do you who are parents handle this or plan on handling this?

I went to Catholic school and we had a religious basd se.x-ed program. Each week there was a family activity that you had to do with your parents and they had to sign your homework. It was horribly uncomfortable!!! Other than that, it never really came up at our house...

I'm still uncomfortable talking to my mom about sex! But I think it has to start at home.

I also want to say that I am tired of LEEP-ing the cervices of 17 year old girls, and having to talk to them about infertility. I don't feel like their parents even suggest to them that they might not want to start having sex at 15.
I had one patient with 15 sexual partners by the time she was 15, and mom was so proud that she had used a condom every time (except the last- she was pregnant)! Did anyone tell her she deserved better than that? Some people would say that she was empowered that she could have sex with whomever she wanted. I felt incredibly sad for the total loss of her innocence, and wished she could have been offered a different path. :no:
Also, I have seen parents who want to be so Open with their kids, "Just come to me if you're going to have sex, and we'll get you on birth control, and I won't be upset!" and the kids STILL don't tell them. :banghead:
My daughter is only 6, and I'm scared to death of taking up the subject with her, but I want to take every opportunity to empower her to say "no."

I totally agree with your post!

I also have a soon to be 6 year old girl. I have started talking to her about sex now. She sees my anatomy books and of course finds great interest (lol) in looking at the male and female genatilia and asks all sorts of questions that I openly answer, even ones about sex. There are some good books out there for young kids about sex (I cna't think of any titles, but I used to work for Barnes and Noble so I know they are out there). I think starting to talk (even just some) about it now will make it easier when they are older.

I will strongly encourage both my girls to wait for sex. I want them to also decide for themselves (because only they are really in control of what they do when I am not around) why it is better to wait for sex until they are older. Talk about the consequences of having sex when you are not ready. I think if they know *why* they wish to wait, it makes it easier for them to say no when the situation arrives (and it will....).

This is a great discussion btw!!

Marilyn

I don't have any kids (yet!), but I was one of those girls who had waaaay too many sexual partners when I was waaaay too young, and OF COURSE, it had almost everything to do with my self esteem. Not almost - it had everything to do with it.

I worry about having a girl. Only now, as a woman in my 30's, do I have any understanding of what it means to have respect for yourself. I remember family members telling me all the time, "Have some respect for yourself," and I honestly didn't know or care what that meant at the time. How do you really describe that concept to a kid?

I was watching Dr. Phil awhile back (I'm not sure why I got into the habit) and they were interviewing the Dr. Phil family.

Long story short, the 15 y.o. daugther just had a baby not too long ago (6 months?). She's dating again and Dr. Phil asked if she was on birth control (I believe she admitted to being se.xually active with the guy she's dating). The daughter replied that she wasn't because her mom doesn't believe in 15 year old kids being on birth control.

What do you think? First, in general about young adults and birth control and then in situations such as this?

One thing my parents did with me was sitting down and saying, "Let's talk about who you are, and what is special about you, and important about you, and unique about you. What makes YOU valuable?" And I don't know if it made the difference for me, but it did give me some respect for myself going through those turbulent years.

I know a lot of my sexually active teenagers have mothers who had kids at the same age (I love being at a delivery where I'm the same age as the grandmother and my one year old is at home! ). I don't think it's likely that even at 30-something, they have a great self-image.