Yowza, does OB ever keep us busy. In the last 2 shifts (1 which was "only" 6 hours long), I have helped deliver 6 babies. 3 of them I was able to do mostly on my own, with the resident right behind my shoulder of course.

I can't say that I'm enjoying it, per se, but it is much better this week. This day team is gentler and less intense. The deliveries are a bit more relaxed. I did see one delivery that was difficult ( I didn't catch that baby because it was obvious that it would be a difficult one), but overall it's much better than a couple of weeks ago. I'm down to just a couple more days in clinic and a couple more L&D shifts, thank goodness.

Life is otherwise okay. I'm pretty much exhausted from this 6 month stint and cannot wait for my 2 weeks off. Matter of fact, hubby has been encouraging me to take the month of July off as well. 2 major reasons for that. One is that I'm pretty burnt out, having been working really hard for the last 6 months on Step exam and then 4 hard core rotation months. Secondly is that at $8/hr full time in the summer, the babysitter is quite expensive! I'll be saving $250/week by taking the time off while the kids are out of school.

So I think I will take the break. It means having to do 4 weeks in January, but that's okay. The kids will be in school and what was I going to do with that time off anyway when the kids aren't home? In July, I can do things like take the kids to the pool and beach and generally hang out with them. I suppose this is the last summer I will have that priviledge. Next year I'll be starting residency right around the time they start summer break. Well, that pretty much decides it for me!

Life has continued to be chaotic for my brothers and extended family. Wish I could do something to help out. One brother moved into his new house after living in hotels and a rental home for over 2 months only to have it struck my lightening 2 days later!! The other brother is having such trouble with his landlord that they are having to move out and take the guy to court.

My only big issue at home is that we haven't had a functioning dryer for over 2 weeks now. Sounds minor until you consider that we are a family of 5. :p There's a lot of laundry involved! I swear if the thing's not fixed this time on Saturday, I'm calling Sears and having them deliver a brand new one on Monday. There's just some things a woman cannot live without, and a dryer is one of them. (chocolate is another, but that is easier to come by)

My running is on again, off again. Only getting 6 hours a sleep a night and the 90 degree heat in the afternoon makes it hard to want to run at all. I'm not going to wake up at 3am to get a run in before rounding at the hospital at 5:30am and I can barely keep my eyes open in the evening. Can't run 'til after 7pm because of the heat. I ran at 10am on Sunday after sleeping in. I almost had to flag down a car and call my husband, I was so over heated. I resorted to standing in the shade for 10 minutes and then practically bathing in a water fountain by the tennis courts 2 miles from my house in order to cool off enough to make it home. I'll never do that again! I just don't do well in the heat and direct sun.

We have a 2 mile time trial at the track tonight for my speed training group. (ha, speed) Anyway, I'll probably be slower this time than I was 6 weeks ago. Just too tired these days. But hey, I'm out there and that does count for something!

Ooh, didn't mean to end this on a down note! Overall, I'm starting to feel more relaxed because I know the end of this year is just around the corner. *whew!*

I've been thinking about this post for several days now. It's my 1000 post on MomMD and it just seemed like it ought to be something extra good. Well, I haven't thought of anything!

I can say this much. My life is going at break-neck speed.

Tomorrow I take my Obgyn shelf exam and will be finished with the rotation. (oh sweet, sweet relief!)

Tomorrow is my last day as a 3rd year medical student! Fourth year means applying for residency, Match Day, and graduation!

My daughter is in Manhattan with my mom this week for her 13th birthday trip. Her birthday isn't until August, but it might as well be this week. From what I hear from my mom, she is enjoying every minute of the trip, has no fear of the city, and plans to live there some day. I think she said she wants to go to a Fine Art college in NY. Yowza.

My boys are off to a church sponsered event tonight with a friend of theirs. This is a little weird for me since we don't attend a church. I was raised Catholic but haven't been a true pratitionor of the faith in many years. I tried going with the kids about 5 years ago, but felt like a fake because I disagreed with so much of what was being said in church. My husband only went to church when he stayed with his grandmother, neither of his parents were religious. So, it's not that we're not Christian, we are, but we're not practicing Christians, I suppose. (that was heavier than I intended.) Parenting brings up so many issues in so many ways!

The kids are all old enough to walk down the street and swim in our neighborhood pool. They know all the lifegaurds and what kids go to the pool at which time. They avoid the "teenage" hours, even my daughter does, because they don't like the older kids' attitudes.

I guess at the moment I feel very much like I'm on the cusp of another big life change. Really, it's been happening all along. It's hitting me now though, that my husband is turning 40 this Fall, my daughter is 2 months shy of being a teenager, my boys start middle school in late August. Time marches forward. I'm about to start my last year of med school! I was so bent on getting TO med school for so many years. Then, I was just so fucused on getting through. Now I'm seeing residency on the horizon and all the changes that that will bring.

Wow.

But for now I'm going to do my best to enjoy my last long summer vacation with the kids and rest easy knowing that I have done what I needed to get the residency that I have long hoped for.

There will be plenty of time to freak out about actually doing the residency later on!

Unfortunately, because of my plans for residency, I won't be applying anywhere else and won't be able to share that particular experience with MomMD. I hope one of the other bloggers who will be 4th years coming up soon will share their experiences with us!

I'm a 4th year medical student!!! *does happy dance*

Just had to share that. I'm so happy. I still have one core rotation left, Psych, but everything else is electives.

I'm also free of rotations for the next 6 weeks. :laughing:

Life is great.

*whew* Those 2 weeks really flew by! And can I just say how happy I am that while most of my classmates are returning to rotations tomorrow, I have another 4 weeks off? :goodvibes: Our school district makes all middle school (5th & 6th) students take either regular or advanced classes all together. You can't take adv math and reg language arts, for example. Easier for scheduling, but not that good for kids who excel in one area and are average in others.

Also, the kids have to maintain an 85 or above to stay in the adv classes. No pressure there! :rolleyes: Well, I knew one of the boys would get in (he's GT "qualified"), but the other one is not nearly as motivated in school. He does okay, but it usually takes a lot of prodding to get him to try more than the bare minimum.

The reason I stressed about this for him is that he's smart enough to be in the classes, but if he gets put in the "regular" classes in middle school, it will be that much harder to get him into "pre-AP" in Junior high and thus nearly impossible to get AP classes in HS. So much to think about ahead of time!

Almost nothing to say about medicine today, I suppose. No, I haven't been practicing my Spanish. :p Guess I'd better get to it!

I feel ready to be back on rotation again. It's nice that I feel that way and still have some time off. No doubt I will be going stir-crazy by the middle of next week.

I have the benefit (and drawback) of the friendly situation between my med school and the pedi residency program here. Because the program director is known to take any well-performing student from our school into the peds program, I have a good idea of who 1/4-1/3 of my fellow interns will be.

This is a plus because there are quite a few people that I am very excited to be working with next year. It takes away some of the anxiety of the unknown, such as, "Will I get along with my fellow interns?"

brb...( got pulled away to adopt a kitten found by the neighbors!)

Continuing on...


It's also a minus for several reasons. One minus is already knowing that someone I haven't gotten along with very well in the past will be a fellow intern.*sigh* Another minus is that we already have pretty set opinions of one another and there is much less chance for a "fresh start." After some of the drama of med school, a fresh start isn't always a bad thing!

Dang, I had more to say on this topic before I got pulled away by the kitten adoption. :goodvibes:

Monday I have to take our standardized patient exam, called the CPX. I'm not sure if it's practice for Step 2 or just my school's way of making sure that we can all get through a H&P (history & physical) and come up with a reasonable diagnosis in short order. Doesn't really matter, though. It's just another hoop to jump through, whatever the purpose.

They produce hoop. I jump. :p

I jumped through my hoop today. :laughing:

It really wasn't bad at all. It was a little nerve wracking to have to perform on demand, knowing that the entire encounter was being video-taped. But really, you get put on the spot so often in medical training that I only even thought of the cameras on one or two occasions. It's a little surprising to me how easy the patient encounters are now. I guess it shouldn't surprise me, but the comparison to how nervous I was a couple of years ago when we took our first standardized patient exam is very telling.

My girlfriends came over yesterday and we had our resume party. It was really quite helpful. Getting to read what they had written their resumes, discussing ways to word things and how to include activities, and generally getting upbeat and friendly feedback made the whole experience much more pleasant. For example, at one point I asked them where, if at all, I should include my college semester abroad in Australia. Later on we discussed whether an elective in Honduras counted as volunteer work or where it could fit in the resume. I also had this conference in Panama listed under 'extracurriculars.' Then one of my friends says, "Why not put it all under a heading like 'International Experience'?" Brilliant! Suddenly three very different experiences that didn't seem to have a home in my resume looked like something I had intended all along!

Next I'll have to tackle my personal statement. I was thinking about it, and decided I might reread some of my blog because there some useful things I've said and thought outloud here that might provide some inspiration. I hate writing PS's. It's so uncomfortable trying to put down on paper why you are worthy of someone else's attention and acceptance. And once you start reading all the "example" PS's, yours always feels so bland and inadequate!

Still, throw me in the briar patch. Never in my wildest dreams in high school did I ever even begin to imagine that my life would turn out like this. Had I known, I probably would have been too intimidated to even try! Come to think of it, it's a good thing we never truly know what lies ahead of us. I suspect many of us would curl up in the fetal position and never move again if we knew all that life held for us. Afterall, a big part of achieving amazing things in life is just putting one foot in front of the other and dealing with what lies directly in your path, and then taking that next step.

I'm thrilled to see Mommydionne's blog. I look forward to reading more of her busy day to day life as a mom and practicing doc.

I almost lost my mind this week. :p Being home wiht the kids 24/7 with my break on the weekend being the funeral for my uncle in New Orleans. It was a good weekend, but of course it was sad and sometimes stressful. I guess it's always a little stressful with a lot of family around, no matter the reason for the gathering. Or maybe it's just me that feels that way?

I'm so ready to be back at the hospital again! I look forward to my Ped GI elective that starts in just over a week. Another new specialty to learn about! This is one of the fields I'm very interested in, so we'll see how I feel about it at the end of the 4 weeks.

I've made zero progress on my personal statement and residency application. Someone will have to light a fire under me in mid-August. :rotfl: I really did need some new work shoes, running shoes, running clothes and vacation clothes... I'd better get back to work ASAP!

The mystery trip was in Cabo! We had a wonderful time, ate some fantastic food and generally enjoyed being grownups.

The house is really, really quiet without the kids. They return on Friday and I will be so happy to see them. We did get to talk to them on Sunday evening and they all sounded happy, thank goodness.

I started Pedi GI this week. I have to say that I am really enjoying being in clinic this week. I love talking with kids and their families. Of course the babies are wonderful, but there's also something very gratifying about connecting with 6 year olds and 13 year olds as well. There's a lot of the counseling approach to several of the common problems in ped GI. Issues like chronic constipation, obesity, and IBD require a lot of patience and teaching. I really enjoy that. It's one of the main things that makes me worry that neonatology won't be for me, ulitmately. I will miss out on all the conversations and interactions with kids and their families. (not to say that it is always a joy, of course! lol)

I'm actually feeling pretty confused at the moment. It seems silly in the beginning of 4th year to worry about fellowships. :p But really, one needs to be pretty sure about the fellowship choice by the end of 1st year because you apply for fellowships midway through 2nd year. So, for making connections with people and doing research, etc, it seems like the ball needs to be rolling in 1st year.

I'm probably making mountains out of molehills. Most people at this stage are worrying about where to apply for residency. I just like to extend my worrying as far into the future as possible. :laughing:

Still, some important distinctions or decisions that need to be made in the next couple of years

primary vs specialty care
intensive care vs not
hospital vs outpatient settings

Do I care about lifestyle? I'll be 41 when I finish residency, will I still want to be doing night shifts into my 50's and 60's with Neo? Do I want to be tied down to large academic centers with a specialty like pedi GI? Primary care likely means many hours and less money, does that matter?

I've always sort of focused on following my bliss, going for the specialty that I really enjoy. Now that I'm certain about peds, though, I find myself spending more time worrying about the details like working hours and training time and what it'll be like to practice in my 60's. (hey, I want to practice until I can't anymore!)

Having these weeks off has made me think more about quality of life, too. Not being in the pressure cooker for over a month has been refreshing and it was a little bit hard to go back yesterday. It's made me think some about what kind of practice I want to be in 7-10 years from now.

I am really enjoying GI clinic. I had 2 patients this morning that were particularly interesting. One was a teenage boy with a bit of a mystery case. He had a surgery for one presumed problem which turned out not really to be the case, but allowed the pathologists to discover what may or may not be another medical issue for him. He'll need to have some further tests done, etc. But if he does, in fact, have the disease that is being hinted at by his path results, then we will have caught it at a very early age and that could be extremely good for him in the long run.

The second was an adorable baby whose parents had donated his cord blood only to find out that he tested positive for the antibodies to an infectious disease which in turn led to the discovery that his mom has the disease. This is very important information for her health, with potential implications for baby's health as well. I learned an awful lot about the diagnosis and treatment of this disease through the discussion with the parents today.

It's really very gratifying to learn so much and to have it be so interesting to me. I'm only sorry that I can't be more specific about the cases so that it would be more interesting to my readers!

At this point and time I'm feeling very strongly that this specialty could be for me. I love the variety, both of the cases we get and of the kids that come in the door. I love talking with the kids and parents. The reading that I'm doing is also interesting and stimulating. I liked ID, but didn't feel compelled to read and learn more about it in the way that GI makes me feel.

We'll see how I feel in another month or two! :p

In a few minutes here I'm going to go pick up my kids from camp. Actually, I'll be picking them up at the bus drop-off. They've been gone nearly 2 weeks! There will probably be 3 very tired, stinky, noisy kids in my van in an hour or so. :rotfl: I've missed them. But, I've also enjoyed the quiet time with my husband and the lack of chaos in the evening. I will miss the quiet evenings!

Next week my daughter turns 13.

Now that the "crisis" is past, I can talk about my feelings this past couple of weeks. I've never had 2 weeks at home without my kids. I don't think I've ever had a week at home without them. When they went to camp last year it was only M-F and I was on my Medicine rotation working my tail off. This time I was home for a few days, then in Cabo with my husband and then working a very easy elective rotation.

My house was quiet. My house was clean. I ate dinners with my husband. We had conversation. I walked around the house in my PJ's. I watched HBO on the living room tv. I read books. I slept through the night. It was heaven!!!

But...but... I knew the kids were coming home and I felt so guilty for wishing they could stay at camp for another week or two. I knew they were probably tired and probably homesick, but I really loved having time to myself and time for my husband, uninterrupted.

The kids came home and it was like total chaos again. I was reminded of how hyperactive one of my boys can be. My daughter cried on 3 separate occasions on her first full day home. My other son announced he wanted to quit TKD. My babysitter was on vacation and we were having trouble finding a substitute.

I felt even more guilty when I realized that my life would be so much easier without being a mother of 3. I felt horrible for realizing how much freedom there is in being an adult without children hanging from you all day long.

Well, the moment passed... after a couple of days. I confessed to my 2 best friends and classmates, who don't have kids. They essentially said "well, duh." :p They're right. Of course I would feel that way.

What good has come of this very painful realization? Well, I know I still like my husband and awful lot. :goodvibes: It's good to know we won't be staring at each other with blank expressions and wondering why we ever married when the kids do leave the nest.

It's also allowed me to accept that my life is terribly complicated and the fact that I can't do everything I want to accomplish every day (or even every week) is because of the tremendous amount of responsibilities that I/we have. It's given me some fresh perspective on the complexity of my life and low and behold, encouraged me to rethink my future career plans. Nothing big, just enough to ask myself "Do I want a call-intensive specialty that requires me to be away from home at night on a regular basis?"

Now you know and I know that I could change my mind again in a heartbeat as far as specialties go, but it's been a useful insight and I want to take something useful away from this difficult weekend.

What awaited me when I returned home from clinic today with the kids in the house again? A giant hug from my son and a beaming smile from my daughter who is teaching herself graphic design on my laptop. :goodvibes: This same gal, despite her tendency to tears lately, makes me so very proud. She turns 13 in a couple of days and has told her friends and relatives that she doesn't want gifts, but would rather that they make a donation to our local Humane Society. If I ever wonder if I'm raising my kids right, well, there ya go. She's also talked so much about the benefits to the environment of being vegetarian that her brother has asked to eat veggie for the rest of the week to try it out. (though he still wants to eat seafood.)

Thank God one hug makes it all worthwhile and that I have the ability to appreciate that hug.

Tally Ho!
(it's what I say to myself when I'm mentally picking myself up and dusting myself off to jump back into the fray)