My apologies for being AWOL.
My blog title is no longer accurate! As of midnight tonight, I was no longer a resident.
I suppose if I start a new blog, it'll have to be "married momof3 pediatrician2011." Wow. Doesn't sound as unusual since most pediatricians are parents. I tempted to call the new one something like "the circuitous route."
Nonetheless, after all my fears and anxieties, sleepless nights and marathon rotations, I have finished residency still happily married (20 yrs this month!) and still with 3 amazing kids who don't appear to hate my guts. *phew*
I was filling out the post-residency survey for the AAP tonight and one of the questions was "knowing what you know now, would you become a physician again?"
I had to think about that for a minute. My initial response was "probably not" and my husband asked me what I would do instead. I pondered that one. I mean, there are so many easier ways to train to help people. There are so many jobs that pay well and don't require half the number of years of education to get. There are so many fields that don't require 80 hr work weeks as part of the preparation.
But I honestly can't think of anything more fulfilling. I've done some of those other things and none of them came close to the moments of personal gratification I've had when I've made a tricky diagnosis, relieved pain or anxiety, held a patient's hand in comfort, or explained something scary and technical in a way that put families at ease. All it takes is the memory of one young patient looking up into my eyes, telling me I'm a good doctor and handing me one of his stickers to put a smile on my face.
It's not that I love everything about medicine. Don't get me wrong. It's that at the end of the day, I really can't imagine being this fulfilled doing anything else.
My life is about to change fairly radically. I'm joining a practice in another town, building a house, moving my family, and dealing with the fact that I'm not sure when/if my husband will be finding a job in our new town. There may be years of his commuting/traveling ahead of us again. Not the end of the world, by any stretch, but also not my ideal situation. But you know, I'm fairly good at dealing with the not ideal situation.
Been doing it for a good 10 yrs now between hubby's travel before and during med school as well as all my medical training with 3 kids and a husband with a demanding job. I kinda think I'm at my best when under a little pressure. Haha!
I can't believe in a couple of weeks I'm going to be THE doctor. Seems so funny to say that, but after years of having someone always second-guessing my diagnoses and plans, it'll be strange not to "check out" to someone. Strange and wonderful!
You might wonder why I'm writing all this at 3am. Well, it's because I finished my last month of residency in the EC (emergency center) with lots of switching between nights and days. Always guaranteed to mess up my sleep for a couple of weeks afterwards. So glad to be done with that! Forever!
I'm off on vacation with my husband in a couple of days. After that, I start my new-ish life as a pediatrician. I hope I'll be inspired to blog again. I miss the writing and I miss encouraging the members of MomMD.
Yes ladies, it can be done! I may be in my early 40's with 3 kids in High School (!) this fall, but by golly I did it and so can you. (now hit the books