Since I have found a lot of support and validation at this site, and find writing very therapeutic, I decided to combine the two...

A few stats: I'm 29 next week, grew up in Minneapolis, MN and took the straight (and maybe too quick) road to medical school. I went to medical school at the University of Minnesota which was an experience I wouldn't trade for the world! I had a blast and met a lot of lifelong friends. I got married as a third year medical student, to a guy I met in high school (gasp...) although didn't date until my junior in college (a long story, for another day). After a great surgery rotation, I decided to go into surgery and matched at my first choice in Houston, Texas.

After moving my husband away from our families and halfway across the country I started what could only be described as a grueling surgery residency (keep in mind, this was before the era of the eighty hour work week!) where I routinely worked between 110-120 hours a week (previous to residency I didn't even know that there WERE that many hours in a week!). I became exhausted, very depressed and seriously questioned my residency choice. After my initial awe of the OR wore off, I actually found the OR kind of boring...and really liked my non-operative rotations the best (ER, ICU). I hung in there, though and perserved through another year, knowing that for my third year I would be going into the lab to do research, and maybe there when I could have some time to think about it I would remember all of the reasons that I loved surgery. Research is a common thing to do for surgery residents who want academic careers...most residents interested in this go into the lab after the 2nd or 3rd year (depending on your program). Unfortunately this adds additional time onto your training because you have to complete 5 clinical years (this is non-negotiable), but the lab years are usually pretty flexible, so those of us who go into the lab work hard to get our lives outside of the OR back! Although I had started seriously questioning my commitment to surgery (the OR just didn't hold the same mystique for me anymore and I found myself making excuses to go see patients who were awake...) I had committed to research with my mentor, so I kept going.

I had my daughter one month after starting in the lab. I never knew that you could wear your heart outside your body, but there it is! After having her, I knew I couldn't return to surgery...I didn't love it enough to do it for the rest of my life and the lifestyle would surely take an unwanted toll on my child. I started thinking about what I did want to do (this took me almost a year because I wanted to make sure that my decisions were well thought out)...what combined my love of trauma, critical care, and variation with a predictable lifestyle? What could I do where everyday would be different? Which rotations did I really like during surgery residency? Yes, it seems like an easy answer when I look back, but I wanted to make sure that I considered everything. I knew I could very easily, outside of the match, get an anesthesia or family practice spot, but I didn't think that would make me happy. I finally settled on ER where I felt like my skills would be the best served and I would be the happiest. Problem was, ER is competitive and although I had already done a lot of training and had great credentials, I did not have any idea how to "break into" the ER. As I'm a resident, I couldn't really go and do a 4th year rotation in an ED, and that is usually where you make contacts! My current institution doesn't have an ER program so I really had to work to get advice. I went across the street to UT-Houston to talk to some of their faculty and their chairman. They were AWESOME-let me shadow them, ask them millions of questions and really cemented my feelings about emergency medicine.

Since I now had a family, I figured that moving to be closer to my extended family made the most sense. I obviously needed to apply to more than one program so besides UT-Houston, I contacted the program directors from the two programs in my hometown and asked their advice. I was surprised, they were both encouraging and they both told me that if I could get my application in they would give me an interview. Needless to say, I was extremely excited. I sat down with my research mentor, and then my program director and the chairman of my program and thanked them for all of the things they had taught me, and then told them that I would be leaving at the end of the year. I explained my plan, asked for letters, answered a million questions (my research mentor thought I was nuts to give up a very promising career in surgery, and he mentioned how he had planned on hiring me when I graduated...) and then scrambled to get my application together.

To make a long story short, I am thrilled to announce that I am entered in this year's Match (ahhh...I had hoped to never have to go through this craziness again and here I am...in the Match for the second time!). I got interviews from the 4 places that I was interested in and although 4 places isn't many places to interview (I interviewed at 18 places for surgery...) I am determined to be in one of two locations-MN or Houston which limits me to 4 programs.

As Match Day is next week, I am terrified that I will not match, will not have a job, will let my family down, will let myself down...BUT I am thrilled to have this second chance to do what will truly make me happy. I have been reading every thing I can get my hands on to refresh all of that info that my attendings used to say "call the consultants" to. I am ready to move on...but first I have to get through next week. Doesn't help that my daughter has been sick this week, so I have been juggling and have had plenty of time while taking care of her to "dwell" on my situation-only increasing my anxiety.

Well, as I used to say on a particularly bad call night, "you can't stop time", so although I am going crazy waiting, by this time next week I will know!

Thanks for listening...

Well, round one is successfully over. Today is "unmatch" day...the day you find out "if"-but not where-you match! (If you don't match you have to go through "the scramble" which is no fun from what I hear!)...

Anyway, all of the hard work paid off...I have a spot in Emergency Medicine for next July . I'm thrilled, and can't wait to find out where I'll be training :goodvibes:

EM mom (formerly momsurg) :cloud9:

Well, a long week comes to an end. I found out yesterday that I matched at my first choice EM program in the Twin Cities (that's Minnesota) so I'll be moving home. I'm so thrilled! I loved the people at this program and am so happy to become a part of it.

I guess there is a million things to do. First and foremost we need to sell our house. It is a gorgeous house, however the market in Houston is not a seller's market. I guess I'll just have to be patient (not one of my specialties). I also need to apply for a new medical license (the paperwork involved in this is obscene!), find my daughter a daycare and pediatrician, start boxing everything up...when you start making the list it seems pretty overwhelming! Luckily, my parents and in-laws will be at the receiving end to help us get settled.

And because today is my birthday (capping off a really stressful but wonderful week) my friend is going to come and take care of my daughter so my husband and I can enjoy a romantic dinner alone...

Hope this week went as well for everyone else as it did for me, and I'm looking forward to hearing where everyone else is going...

OK-as a lot of you know from a previous post looking for stress relief ideas, my life has been pretty nutso lately. Luckily (using a lot of those tips) things have started working themselves out...and all the time I've been spending in the bubble bath has been making me a much better person!

A quick follow up, although the situation is not ideal we decided to move in with my mother-in-law and step-father-in-law. I'm very lucky, they are both very nice people, have a lot of space and are very available to help with child care. I actually started sleeping again after we made that very important decision.

We also decided that at least for awhile we were going to try and work out childcare among the grandparents (Mya was absolutely right, there are two available "grandpas" that have very flexible jobs since they are both self-employed and can help out as well). We're narrowing down neighborhoods and I think we'll be able to choose a daycare within the first few months.

We got an offer on our house but it was 20K less than we were asking (and we are already priced WAY below everyone else that has comparable property) so it didn't work out. For 20K we can keep the house for another year including utilites! There's still PLENTY of interest-we've been showing it constantly-so I think if I'm patient we'll get what we want for it.

My husband has started entertaining other full-time job opportunities that don't include travel, so that area may work itself out as well.

Last, but most importantly, we decided to go ahead with my daughter's surgery since I have the time to deal with the post-op right now, not to mention an ENT I trust and insurance I'm familiar with. We're going to go ahead with the whole thing (tubes, adenoids and tonsillectomy). My mother-in-law is going to come down after the surgery (probably a week or so out) to help us out (did I mention what a good person she was? She volunteered!) so I can go back to work at least part-time until we move.

All in all, things are really looking up and I am starting to get really excited to be going back to clinical work. I've been emailing my new incoming colleagues and they seem great so I'm excited to meet everyone and get started!

Things really do have a way of working themselves out! Our big move is now just weeks away, but things are coming together nicely.

Our house sold...not for as much as we wanted but we won't have to worry about it anymore, so I'm thrilled. The inspection has been done, the options period is over and now we're just waiting on the appraisal and closing. A huge relief.

Also, my husband is contracting for the company that bought out his company for this month (giving him a very flexible schedule and no mention of travel yet...) so he has almost the whole house packed up already! He also found a job that he is excited about starting at-in our hometown-so as soon as we move he will start there.

We are still going to move in with my mother-in-law since we just don't have enough time to find a house in MN and go through two closings right now, but all I can think about is how much money we're going to save-fantastic! On our last visit to MN we narrowed down our "suburb search" and have decided on one, so we were able to go daycare hunting at our last visit. I found what I think is a great daycare...nothing is cemented yet, but I think they have availability...I just need to figure out how to pay their astronomical prices. Small price to pay, though for childcare that I am comfortable with.

And last but not least, my daughter is scheduled to have her surgery tomorrow morning. I'm starting to get a little nervous so if you get a chance send some good wishes my way. I'm sure it will be fine, but that point where you hand your kid over to the anesthesiologist...well, it is just a really hard thing to do. I've already bought her a few new "quiet" toys to play with in the hospital so hopefully I can keep her occupied.
I'm really excited to have the whole thing over with though, I'm so glad that I was able to get it scheduled!

Such a period of transition...

It's been a while but I've been so crazy busy that I haven't time to catch up with any email/internet stuff!

My daughter's surgery went great! I am so thankful for that ENT, she has changed our lives. My daughter's tonsils and adenoids came out and she got a new set of tubes. She stayed in the hospital for 3 nights but she has been absolutely great ever since! No runny nose (she had had that since birth), no ear infections, no sleep apnea/snoring...ahhh what a relief! We made the right decision to get it done and we were even able to get our follow up with the ENT in TX before moving! Anyone in Houston need a great pedi ENT, let me know-she was wonderful!

We've moved and I've started in an EM program that I love! (If anyone is interested in EM programs in the midwest, pm me-this place is awesome!) Super family friendly (two of the new interns are brand new moms) and great faculty. I'm actually having fun being an intern again if you can believe that!

We bought a house and started moving in yesterday...that will be a process that will take some time as all of our stuff is in storage and scattered amongst several relatives houses. Plus we need some painting done so we'll probably get that done before moving in for good. Staying at my mother-in-laws has been surprisingly good, she did the brunt of our childcare and really helped us out of a tight situation as my daughter couldn't start at her new daycare until today (can you tell how freaked out I am?!?). I do like the daycare and I love the teachers so I'm sure it will be fine, but she's been at home the center of attention for over 3 months now. Some bad habits are forming!

Well, I guess that's the scoop for right now. Again, everything is in flux, but as soon as we're settled into our house and my daughter is settled into her daycare routine, I think life is finally going to calm down a little!

Oh man, I have been so out of the loop lately!

I'm still loving EM and have now completed my first month down in the department. What a great schedule! i'm loving life, looking forward to going to work, and feel much more productive, as though I'm actually contributing something to the greater good now. Makes me really glad that I didn't give up instead of trying to find something that was a better fit for me. Plus finding the right program was key!

So the rest of life is a lot better also. I've reconnected with a lot of my friends from high school, college, and medical school and have spent a lot of time getting to know my new colleagues. My class is super supportive and a really great group of people. We all clicked almost immediately. I've even joined a book club with my new found free time (and read the first 2 books!)

My daughter just turned two and I had the week off for vacation which was great. I got sick, but felt like I actually had the time to take care of myself and didn't have any big plans for vaction other than relaxing anyway, so it wasn't so bad. My daughter's birthday party was a lot of fun although it freaks me out that I am the mom of a TWO year old! Ahhh...there's no hiding it, I'm growing up!

The one thing that I'm finding hard to keep up with is all of the reading...so on that note, since I worked evenings last night and the house is actually quiet right now, I should probably go and try to do some catch up!

Happy trails!

Top 10 things I'm thankful for...

1. Wonderful daughter who is growing sassier every day
2. Very supportive husband who is doing a great job as an almost single parent and isn't forgetting the important stuff
3. Family willing to help out (it DOES take a village to raise a child....!)
4. A second chance at a great and fulfilling career, I am loving every shift in the ER, a huge change from resenting the OR...
5. Health (my own and that of my family)
6. A "reunion" with my old group of friends from high school, college and med school, and the addition of a bunch of new friends
7. More free time to try new things/reconnect with my loved ones...I've started trying to cook and have started going to a bookclub...
8. A nice house which will soon host a decorated Christmas tree!
9. A daycare I am comfortable with and providers that I like AND most importantly my daughter loves going there!
...and last but not least...
10. The sunshine despite the cold weather.

May everyone have a Very Happy Thanksgiving!

:wave: I can't believe how long it has been since I have done anything online ! Luckily I have a few minutes while in the SICU (ironic, eh, that the ex-surgery resident is back in the SICU!) to scribble a quick note....it was so fun to read all of your diaries and get caught up with the stories of some women that I consider good friends!

EM is great. I'm now officially a second year (yep, second year is also easier the second time around) and starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Pretty soon I'm actually going to have start thinking about what I want to do when I grow up . I am still loving the ED and my favorite rotations are always the ones that are down there. I have the world's greatest class and since we are such social beings I feel like I have a whole new group of chums. I am thriving on the chaos that is EM. Of course what a great job, you get to see all of the cool stuff, do all of the cool procedures and then NOT have to round on these patients or follow them for days on end! And I'm finding out how well trained we are here, the surgery residents (2 of them separtately) have come to me asking me to show them how to do procedures...all procedures that we do a ton of our first year here in EM(chest tubes and central lines)! Excellent :rotfl: !

I turned 30 this year and that was a little bothersome :banghead: !)

More later!
EMmom