Hi, I'm new to all this, but think a web diary might be a good way to sort through feelings, frustrations and joys of living this crazy life I live. Why so crazy, you ask? Well, probably not more than any of yours...
I have two kids, my first I had second year of residency. He spent the first two weeks of his life in NICU from a neonatal stroke. He's ten now (gosh, almost 11) and has physical and mental disabilities. What a joy this little man is. He LOVES trains - new project is huge toy train project in the attic. We'll all spend the winter making trees and buildings for it! Going back to work after having him was the single most gut-wrenching decision of my life. But, what else to do? Student loans were coming due because I was off for so long, hubby was a resident at the time and bills had to be paid...

My sunlight is our 4year old daughter. Talkative, smart, funny and persistant! Deciding to have a second child was the second hardest decision of my life.

Hubby and I met in undergrad, went to same med school and residency. Got married prior to third year of med school and he is my very best friend in the whole world. (15 years and going strong) We live on 40 acres of blissful privacy. We are building our own home while living in it. (took five years to actually be able to live in it) Yes, we are building it ourselves... I am the power tool queen.

We own a very rural FP office and are losing our partner soon. (not soon enough if you ask me) Stressful, stressful having him still in the office, but my steady, stable hubby is a great mountain of strength. After he's gone, we will be on call 24/7 for ourselves along with rounding at 2 hospitals.... Trying not to think about that.

Learning to deal with all the office stuff we'd passed off to the leaving partner's wife/office manager has been eye opening but time consuming.

I have a very stable sitter who helps a lot and the kids love her and her family. My son goes to a wonderful special needs school where he is loved more than I could ever imagine and I have a cleaning lady once a week. I absolutely hate housework, but am working on it. (I am a recent "flylady" convert - go to flylady . net and you'll see what I mean) It's amazing but as the house goes, so goes my mood. (a clean sink is better for me than all the Wellbutrin in the world).

I love Sunday's not on call (This will be one of our last - sigh). The house is so quiet - which will change soon since son needs his haircut for the first day of school tomorrow. We've learned it's just easiest to tackle and buzz-cut. He HATES having his hair cut. I don't know what we'll do as he gets bigger and harder to handle. Guess he'll have to sprout the dread-lock look!

Thanks for reading.
J :wave:

Today was my little girl's first day of preschool. How bitter-sweet... she absolutely loved it and talked all day about her class, teacher, and what she'll wear tomorrow. (what a girl!)
I wish I weren't so stressed about the office stuff so I could enjoy this more with her. Tonight though, hubby seems to be less stressed, so he can be her sounding board. Tomorrow, the tide will probably turn. Seems to be that way with us. I guess after all this time, we subconsciously know who's turn it is for a night "off".
Putting into effect the EMR and new billing system at the office is such a headache. If we can't get the data into the new system, we don't get paid....argh. I thank God everyday for my support system (mother, baby sitter, husband). Mom picked up the kids for me today and had supper on the table when I got home... I wish she weren't a snowbird and stayed around all year. I hope she has a home in FLA to go back to after all the storms are over.
Boy am I rambling tonight... my mind needs to get this stuff out, I guess.
I wish I could buy time, that's all for now. Baths, stories and bed, then it starts all over. I do love my life... I need thirty lashes for all the whining.
My penance will be to reflect on three things I enjoyed about today...
On that thought, I'll take my leave.
Thanks
J :wave:

Wow, it's been awhile since I've written. Time has been a precious commodity lately. I've officially gone from part-time to full time and I can't believe what a whimp I am! Where is that resident who could stay up for hours on end and still come home and cook supper? I'm feeling my thirty-something age...

On the plus side, daughter is enjoying preschool and all it's trappings (show and tell, music day, art...) Son is doing well in school and we are getting our routine down a bit.

Our ex-partner had his last day on Thursday. I feel like dancing around and singing "la, la, the witch is dead, the wicked witch is dead!" --- but I won't :p He's clearing out his things this weekend and I'm hoping he doesn't do anything stupid with the charts or computers. (Yes, I seriously worry about it. There are some very bizzare evil people in the world and we were taken in by one of them.)

Well, I'm off to join the family for an evening of Star Wars on DVD!

J :wave: