Hi all!

My name is Julie, and I'm 21 years old, I have a 22 month old baby girl named Amanda, and I am starting at UCF in the fall to complete my B.S. in Biology/premed. I graduated from a community college, but I did not take the majority of my premed classes there, I just took Bio I, Chem I (even though I got a B I think I need to retake that class or audit it or something because I didn't learn ANYTHING!) and Calculus I and Statistics.

I'm a little concerned right now because I'm currently taking Bio II over Summer A (6 weeks), and I'm doing REALLY well in the class...I've got about 103%, however, it's taking up all of my time. In other words, once I start full-time at UCF I'm worried that I won't be able to keep my GPA very high, because all my classes will be science classes, and I'm currently struggling to get enough sleep with just one science class.

In fact, I feel guilty that I'm sitting here typing right now instead of studying, so I'm going to go study, and come back to this either when I'm prepared for this upcoming test, or once I take it.

Well, it's midnight, and my test is tomorrow, and ofcourse, I'm still studying.

I've been taking little five minute breaks and singing this to my mom:

"This is the book that doesn't eeeeeeeend, yes it goes on and on my frieeeeeend, some people started studying not knowing what it was, but they'll continue studying forever just because...This is the book that doesn't eeeeeeend..."

I LOVE biology, but MAN, the details have my brain FRIED!

Is all this stuff about vascular and nonvascular plants really on the MCAT? All the different phyla for fungi on there too? I mean, that's why I'm obsessing over the details, because I'm thinking they're on the MCAT...man it would be such good news if one of you PM's me and tells me this stuff is not on the MCAT!

I got a perfect score on my test. Not as good as last time (103%), but still good (100%).

I'm getting obsessed. I'm not even happy that my grade is an A. An A+ makes me happy, but "just" an A makes me mearly satisfied. I'm obsessing way too much...

I went to UCF's orientation today! I LOVED it. :-)

I registered for my classes for next semester, and I will be taking:

PCB 3233 Immunology
CHM 2046 Chem II (no lab, it was full)
HSA 3111 US Health Care Systems (online)
PCB 3044 Ecology

Total 12 credits.

Not too bad, I hope.

My problem is that since I recieved an AA degree from a community college, I have no electives or general education requirements left to cusion my load. All I have left is science classes.

Wish I had more time to write more about myself, my ideas, and my goals but I have too much studying to do for this class. Taking a science class in half the summer is just crazy! It's information overload.

Test after test after test! Another one tomorrow...sigh...


The other night I broke down crying. Friday, I had gone to UCF's orientation, and I had gotten so excited because I just can't wait to start at the university. Saturday my mom was helping a friend move, so I had my daughter all to myself. The little buger woke me up at 5:30 am, and so I was extra sleepy all day long. While she napped, I studied. Later, I made dinner, and as she ate she made a ROYAL mess of herself, I didn't even finish eating, I just picked her up and we went and got in the shower together. Once we were all cleaned up, I went and tried to put her to sleep. She required company for that. However, since I was so pooped, I fell asleep with her. It was about 8:30pm.

My mom gets home, and the kitchen was a mess. I had intended on cleaning it up after Amanda fell asleep, but I fell asleep too. Well, mom had brought me some organic yogurt that she thought I might like, and since I was actually still hungry, I decided to eat it right away, so I put the kitchen off for a sec. My boyfriend then calls in a bad mood because he's had a bad day. I hadn't talked to him in days because I've been so busy. We have a long distance relationship, so we don't see eachother too much. Anyway, I felt that I had to talk to him to comfort him, because he's my boyfriend and because I hadn't talked to him in days...you know, if you want to maintain a relationship, you have to work at it, I couldn't just blow him off, even though I was really tired, and even though I had a kitchen to clean up before I went to bed, and even though I was no where near caught up in my school work.

So we talked, for a while. Finally he was better, and my mother was getting on my case about the kitchen....I think it was kinda stupid, but I just LOST it! When I hung up with him, I started :weeping:

I felt so bad that I hadn't talked to him in days because of my busy-ness, I felt so bad that I had pissed my mother off because of the mess that I had left in the kitchen, bad that I didn't nap during Amanda's nap so that I could have gotten in a better mood instead of being groggy and crancky and sleepy all day (that would have avoided my falling asleep with Amanda, and I could have done the kitchen before mom got home), I felt bad that my room was a wreck, bad that I hadn't groomed in forever, bad that I wasn't all caught up with my work....

and so I started thinking, maybe I can't handle this. Maybe school is too much for me right now. And it just sucked to have that thought, because just the day before I had gone to UCF's orientation and registered for all my classes for the following semester and had been SO EXCITED about it all...sigh, it just SUCKED to have that thought and so I started crying like a baby. How foolish of me to think that I could do this!

I thought, yeah, I could do it, if I dump my boyfriend, give my daughter up for adoption and never ever clean anything up. ::Sarcasm::

Mom heard me crying. She came out and asked me what was wrong, and I tried to explain that the pressure was just getting to me...

and then she said something that I didn't expect!

She said, "Well, if you think it's too much, why don't you just go part time?"

I never thought I had that option, because in order to stay on her insurance, I have to be a full time student. But, she said that she could get me a private insurance, and that I shouldn't worry about it.

Anyway, so now I have that option to consider. As it turns out, it wouldn't make a difference in my graduation date.

I'll try to elaborate:

If I go to school full time, I would do just the minimum to be fulltime.

So, I need atleast 60 credit hours to finish my undergrad. Pretty much all of those are sciences. I had planned on takeing 12-13 credits a semester each fall and spring semester until I was done. In 1 year, that would be about 25 credits, in 2 years I would have completed 50 credits. I would still have 10 credits left to take my third year, and at the point I could choose if I wanted to just take those 10 and go part time that last year, or add electives, maybe a minor, and go full time that last year.

Basically, I planned on doing three years, but the last year would be almost empty.

The reason for this is that there's NO WAY I could finish in 2 years, because I still haven't taken Chem 2, so I wouldn't have the Organic Chemistry sequence done until fall of my 2nd (senior) year and if I wanted to graduate for spring of my 2nd (senior) year, that wouldn't work out for MCAT, because I wouldn't be able to take it until that very same spring!!

Look, this is what I mean:

Junior Fall:

(this is fall 2006) Take Chem 2

Junior Spring:

Take Ochem 1

Senior Fall:

Take Ochem 2

now I can take MCAT, but Fall ends in December, so I can't take it until April.

Senior Spring:

Take Biochem 1 and Take MCAT in April.

Technically I could graduate, I could get all my 60 credits in there if I take summers, but I wouldn't be able to go to medical school right after graduation. So...

So I figured I would do what I just outlined above without graduating, and if need be, I'd take MCAT again in August of my 3rd (supersenior) year and then graduate the spring of my 3rd (supersenior) year. And hopefully, start medical school the next Fall.

So, either I take 25 science credits the first and second and year and 10 science credits that last year, and add electives if I want,

OR

I take 8-9 science credits a semester, that's about 17 science credits a year, and 17 x 3 = 51 credits in total, so I'd need to take an additional class or two in the summers, to get my 60 total. This would allow me to be part time at all times.

Now, knowing that it doens't affect my graduation date, I just have to decide if I want to do this or not.

There just is not enough time in a day!

Well, I haven't yet decided about the full-time/part-time thing, but as it turns out, I don't think I really have a choice. I'm not exactly sure because I haven't had one-on-one time with an advisor at this new school yet, but I found out that they require 48 credits of upper division courses before graduation. Only 60 from my AA will tranfer, so I need ATLEAST 60 more to graduate (b/c the degree requires 120 total), but I had not been unaware of the 48 upper division credits requirement when I was making my calculations before. I only included in there 35 upper division credits (the ones they listed out as required in the catalog).

So let's see... I need PHY 1 & 2, w/labs, I need CHM 2 w/lab, and I need O-CHM 1 & 2 w/lab, thats 20 lower division credits. Plus the 35 upper division required classes, I'm left with 5 to make it to 60, but I need 48 upper division, so I have to add an additional 8 to that 60.

So 68 credits in total.

68/3 = 23 credits a year

If I take summers I can make it part-time...but most of these classes are not offered over the summer. :no: Sigh, I'll most likely end up with the 11-12 credits a semester... :censored:


You know, I really don't mind not having a life. I enjoy studying. But, when I feel sleep deprived I start questioning myself. Although, I would feel sleep deprived right now no matter what. Even if my major was accounting or english or if I was a sahm, because my little girl doesn't let me sleep at night!

I can't wait until I can sleep through the night without interuptions! This bad sleep is causing me to feel extremely fatiuged throughout the day time. I even had a hard time washing my hair--keeping my arms up was too tiring!

I've been freaking out over MCAT lately. I bought the Kaplan Review book, even though I don't plan on taking MCAT until April 2008. I am seriously starting to loose my sanity.

I'm such a book worm. It's not that I don't like to socialize...I like people a lot, but man, I notice that I have the type of personality that if you just leave me alone to do whatever I want I end up in a bookstore, reading. I LOVE TO BUY BOOKS! Clothes too, naturally, but it's just this passion for books...sometimes I feel like I obsess. I feel like the kind of person who needs someone close to her to force her to do something "fun" for a change. I don't know, I guess I'm just very different than the people my age perhaps because I'm a mother. Although, I think I've always been this way. Most people around here go clubbing for fun, or they go out to eat and drink. I like the beach and the bookstore and playing my violin.

Something on my mind: volunteering volunteering volunteering!

The place I had applied to isn't working out too well, they don't seem very organized. And besides, they only want people to volunteer once a month, and I wanted something that I could like 4 times a week during the summer, and then do once a week during fall and spring. So I need to find something new. I've been too busy to search lately. I'm too picky too, I probably should just go volunteer at the hospital and let that be that, but I'm afraid that won't give me any exposure. My neighbor is a cardiologist, but I don't know him well enough to ask him for any advice...which sucks because I think to myself, "there's a doctor sleeping right there next to me every night and I'm not using that 'resource'"!

Well, I'll have to wait until I finish this class anyways...besides, the university I'm transferring to has a program that "hooks you up," so to speak, with the kind of things you want. I might call them up.

Sigh, I'm too tired to keep on writing for now...until later my friends!

~Julie

Ugh, I'm really starting to dislike summer school. It's the fault of this stupid presentation that I have to do for Wednesday that is stressing me out beyond belief. I prefer tests, by far. This is too abstract...lol I have to be creative! YUCK!

Well, atleast it's almost over. I only have three days of class left spread out over the next week and a half. Then I'll be on "vacation" for about a month until classes start back up in August. I don't have anything planned, except for visiting the beach, hopefully. My boyfriend won't be around most of the time I have off because he is planning on going to Virginia for OCS...it's something to do with the Marines. So, he'll be gone for 6 weeks. :-(

:-) I'm treating myself to a Coca-Cola. I don't drink them that often because I don't want my teeth to get so stained.

Sigh, I don't have my baby, she's with her other grandma today. I miss that cute little thing. She's at that age when everything she does is cute. I can't get enough of it!

Man, it's really windy outside...

I can't stop visiting MomMD. I check it like 5 million times a day. Can you be addicted to MomMD? lol

I feel crummy. My boyfriend, who's name is Daniel, by the way, is pretty depressed for a whole bunch of different reasons. I don't know how to help him. I can't go visit him, I have too much work to do, and I think he's got a lot of work to do to...

When he's "good", he's great! But man, when he's not "good", he's BAD. It almost seems like if he gets depressed too easily. I feel for him, I know he's going through pretty rough times, but I just don't understand why he doesn't do something about it...he says he can't think clearly enough to come up with a solution to his problems...sigh...

I'm really worried about him. I'm even to the point that I'm starting to feel guilty, thinking that his problems are my fault. I know he misses me and Amanda, and I know that part of his depression is due to our current physical seperation. I think to myself, "If I could just visit him more often, or if I could move back to Gainesville, maybe he wouldn't be so depressed." I also blame myself for not spending much time with him on the phone, because I'm "too busy" with you girls already know what.

I see him suffering and I can't help but think that I'm doing a terrible thing in dedicating so much time and energy into premed when he obviously needs me....

I know that in reality it's not my fault at all, and that I'm not doing anything wrong by being premed. I'm just admitting that the thoughts cross my mind.

I just wish I could help him somehow....

he's just so lonely up there in Gainesville all by himself. But I've even offered him to come HERE and live with me at my moms house, who's totally willing to have him, and he refuses. I don't know what to do... :-(

So I cleaned up my room! YAY! (Let's see how long THAT lasts!) Well, it's not spotless. The closet is a MESS, but hey, atleast the room LOOKS clean, right?

My boyfriend and his problems have me all stressed out. Like if I need anymore stress!
I feel sick to my stomach because of how worried I am about him. :-(

Okay, I think it's about time I confess to my Harry Potter OBSESSION. You all are going to DIE laughing once you hear this. Hermione is my IDOL. She's my hero. I want to be just like her. I WANT TO GO TO HOGWARTS! But lets just say that Hogwarts isn't accepting applications right now (in other words, they don't exist), so I have to settle for the next best thing: Medical School!

(Okay, go ahead, laugh it all out.)

Doctors are healers, and throughout history healing has often been related to, yeah, you've got it right--MAGIC!

Not only that, but I get a KICK out of the scientific name for things, such as Trichomonas Vaginalis or Trypanosoma. It reminds me of all the "magic spells" in latin from Harry Potter. And just like Hermione always knows EVERY FREAKING DETAIL there is to know, I feel like I have to be that way for MCAT.

Think I'm crazy yet?

I have such a headache. Today was my final exam in Bio 2, and even though I had done so wonderful throughout the entire semester (I think my average was about 105% before this exam) I am afraid that I might be getting a B. See, I had put off studying for this exam because I knew that I didn't need to do that well to get an A, infact I only need to get a D on the final so that I could get an A. But my @#%$%^@ boyfried kept me up ALL night on the phone. From like 9PM until 4AM. GRRRRR...he's driving me crazy. :banghead:

I'll speak more about him later, if I get the chance. I have to go pick Amanda up from daycare now...

If I get a B in this class because of last night I'm going to scream. :censored: :yikes: