Hi all!

My name is Julie, and I'm 21 years old, I have a 22 month old baby girl named Amanda, and I am starting at UCF in the fall to complete my B.S. in Biology/premed. I graduated from a community college, but I did not take the majority of my premed classes there, I just took Bio I, Chem I (even though I got a B I think I need to retake that class or audit it or something because I didn't learn ANYTHING!) and Calculus I and Statistics.

I'm a little concerned right now because I'm currently taking Bio II over Summer A (6 weeks), and I'm doing REALLY well in the class...I've got about 103%, however, it's taking up all of my time. In other words, once I start full-time at UCF I'm worried that I won't be able to keep my GPA very high, because all my classes will be science classes, and I'm currently struggling to get enough sleep with just one science class.

In fact, I feel guilty that I'm sitting here typing right now instead of studying, so I'm going to go study, and come back to this either when I'm prepared for this upcoming test, or once I take it.

Well, it's midnight, and my test is tomorrow, and ofcourse, I'm still studying.

I've been taking little five minute breaks and singing this to my mom:

"This is the book that doesn't eeeeeeeend, yes it goes on and on my frieeeeeend, some people started studying not knowing what it was, but they'll continue studying forever just because...This is the book that doesn't eeeeeeend..."

I LOVE biology, but MAN, the details have my brain FRIED!

Is all this stuff about vascular and nonvascular plants really on the MCAT? All the different phyla for fungi on there too? I mean, that's why I'm obsessing over the details, because I'm thinking they're on the MCAT...man it would be such good news if one of you PM's me and tells me this stuff is not on the MCAT!

I got a perfect score on my test. Not as good as last time (103%), but still good (100%).

I'm getting obsessed. I'm not even happy that my grade is an A. An A+ makes me happy, but "just" an A makes me mearly satisfied. I'm obsessing way too much...

I went to UCF's orientation today! I LOVED it. :-)

I registered for my classes for next semester, and I will be taking:

PCB 3233 Immunology
CHM 2046 Chem II (no lab, it was full)
HSA 3111 US Health Care Systems (online)
PCB 3044 Ecology

Total 12 credits.

Not too bad, I hope.

My problem is that since I recieved an AA degree from a community college, I have no electives or general education requirements left to cusion my load. All I have left is science classes.

Wish I had more time to write more about myself, my ideas, and my goals but I have too much studying to do for this class. Taking a science class in half the summer is just crazy! It's information overload.

Test after test after test! Another one tomorrow...sigh...


The other night I broke down crying. Friday, I had gone to UCF's orientation, and I had gotten so excited because I just can't wait to start at the university. Saturday my mom was helping a friend move, so I had my daughter all to myself. The little buger woke me up at 5:30 am, and so I was extra sleepy all day long. While she napped, I studied. Later, I made dinner, and as she ate she made a ROYAL mess of herself, I didn't even finish eating, I just picked her up and we went and got in the shower together. Once we were all cleaned up, I went and tried to put her to sleep. She required company for that. However, since I was so pooped, I fell asleep with her. It was about 8:30pm.

My mom gets home, and the kitchen was a mess. I had intended on cleaning it up after Amanda fell asleep, but I fell asleep too. Well, mom had brought me some organic yogurt that she thought I might like, and since I was actually still hungry, I decided to eat it right away, so I put the kitchen off for a sec. My boyfriend then calls in a bad mood because he's had a bad day. I hadn't talked to him in days because I've been so busy. We have a long distance relationship, so we don't see eachother too much. Anyway, I felt that I had to talk to him to comfort him, because he's my boyfriend and because I hadn't talked to him in days...you know, if you want to maintain a relationship, you have to work at it, I couldn't just blow him off, even though I was really tired, and even though I had a kitchen to clean up before I went to bed, and even though I was no where near caught up in my school work.

So we talked, for a while. Finally he was better, and my mother was getting on my case about the kitchen....I think it was kinda stupid, but I just LOST it! When I hung up with him, I started :weeping:

I felt so bad that I hadn't talked to him in days because of my busy-ness, I felt so bad that I had pissed my mother off because of the mess that I had left in the kitchen, bad that I didn't nap during Amanda's nap so that I could have gotten in a better mood instead of being groggy and crancky and sleepy all day (that would have avoided my falling asleep with Amanda, and I could have done the kitchen before mom got home), I felt bad that my room was a wreck, bad that I hadn't groomed in forever, bad that I wasn't all caught up with my work....

and so I started thinking, maybe I can't handle this. Maybe school is too much for me right now. And it just sucked to have that thought, because just the day before I had gone to UCF's orientation and registered for all my classes for the following semester and had been SO EXCITED about it all...sigh, it just SUCKED to have that thought and so I started crying like a baby. How foolish of me to think that I could do this!

I thought, yeah, I could do it, if I dump my boyfriend, give my daughter up for adoption and never ever clean anything up. ::Sarcasm::

Mom heard me crying. She came out and asked me what was wrong, and I tried to explain that the pressure was just getting to me...

and then she said something that I didn't expect!

She said, "Well, if you think it's too much, why don't you just go part time?"

I never thought I had that option, because in order to stay on her insurance, I have to be a full time student. But, she said that she could get me a private insurance, and that I shouldn't worry about it.

Anyway, so now I have that option to consider. As it turns out, it wouldn't make a difference in my graduation date.

I'll try to elaborate:

If I go to school full time, I would do just the minimum to be fulltime.

So, I need atleast 60 credit hours to finish my undergrad. Pretty much all of those are sciences. I had planned on takeing 12-13 credits a semester each fall and spring semester until I was done. In 1 year, that would be about 25 credits, in 2 years I would have completed 50 credits. I would still have 10 credits left to take my third year, and at the point I could choose if I wanted to just take those 10 and go part time that last year, or add electives, maybe a minor, and go full time that last year.

Basically, I planned on doing three years, but the last year would be almost empty.

The reason for this is that there's NO WAY I could finish in 2 years, because I still haven't taken Chem 2, so I wouldn't have the Organic Chemistry sequence done until fall of my 2nd (senior) year and if I wanted to graduate for spring of my 2nd (senior) year, that wouldn't work out for MCAT, because I wouldn't be able to take it until that very same spring!!

Look, this is what I mean:

Junior Fall:

(this is fall 2006) Take Chem 2

Junior Spring:

Take Ochem 1

Senior Fall:

Take Ochem 2

now I can take MCAT, but Fall ends in December, so I can't take it until April.

Senior Spring:

Take Biochem 1 and Take MCAT in April.

Technically I could graduate, I could get all my 60 credits in there if I take summers, but I wouldn't be able to go to medical school right after graduation. So...

So I figured I would do what I just outlined above without graduating, and if need be, I'd take MCAT again in August of my 3rd (supersenior) year and then graduate the spring of my 3rd (supersenior) year. And hopefully, start medical school the next Fall.

So, either I take 25 science credits the first and second and year and 10 science credits that last year, and add electives if I want,

OR

I take 8-9 science credits a semester, that's about 17 science credits a year, and 17 x 3 = 51 credits in total, so I'd need to take an additional class or two in the summers, to get my 60 total. This would allow me to be part time at all times.

Now, knowing that it doens't affect my graduation date, I just have to decide if I want to do this or not.

There just is not enough time in a day!

Well, I haven't yet decided about the full-time/part-time thing, but as it turns out, I don't think I really have a choice. I'm not exactly sure because I haven't had one-on-one time with an advisor at this new school yet, but I found out that they require 48 credits of upper division courses before graduation. Only 60 from my AA will tranfer, so I need ATLEAST 60 more to graduate (b/c the degree requires 120 total), but I had not been unaware of the 48 upper division credits requirement when I was making my calculations before. I only included in there 35 upper division credits (the ones they listed out as required in the catalog).

So let's see... I need PHY 1 & 2, w/labs, I need CHM 2 w/lab, and I need O-CHM 1 & 2 w/lab, thats 20 lower division credits. Plus the 35 upper division required classes, I'm left with 5 to make it to 60, but I need 48 upper division, so I have to add an additional 8 to that 60.

So 68 credits in total.

68/3 = 23 credits a year

If I take summers I can make it part-time...but most of these classes are not offered over the summer. :no: Sigh, I'll most likely end up with the 11-12 credits a semester... :censored:


You know, I really don't mind not having a life. I enjoy studying. But, when I feel sleep deprived I start questioning myself. Although, I would feel sleep deprived right now no matter what. Even if my major was accounting or english or if I was a sahm, because my little girl doesn't let me sleep at night!

I can't wait until I can sleep through the night without interuptions! This bad sleep is causing me to feel extremely fatiuged throughout the day time. I even had a hard time washing my hair--keeping my arms up was too tiring!

I've been freaking out over MCAT lately. I bought the Kaplan Review book, even though I don't plan on taking MCAT until April 2008. I am seriously starting to loose my sanity.

I'm such a book worm. It's not that I don't like to socialize...I like people a lot, but man, I notice that I have the type of personality that if you just leave me alone to do whatever I want I end up in a bookstore, reading. I LOVE TO BUY BOOKS! Clothes too, naturally, but it's just this passion for books...sometimes I feel like I obsess. I feel like the kind of person who needs someone close to her to force her to do something "fun" for a change. I don't know, I guess I'm just very different than the people my age perhaps because I'm a mother. Although, I think I've always been this way. Most people around here go clubbing for fun, or they go out to eat and drink. I like the beach and the bookstore and playing my violin.

Something on my mind: volunteering volunteering volunteering!

The place I had applied to isn't working out too well, they don't seem very organized. And besides, they only want people to volunteer once a month, and I wanted something that I could like 4 times a week during the summer, and then do once a week during fall and spring. So I need to find something new. I've been too busy to search lately. I'm too picky too, I probably should just go volunteer at the hospital and let that be that, but I'm afraid that won't give me any exposure. My neighbor is a cardiologist, but I don't know him well enough to ask him for any advice...which sucks because I think to myself, "there's a doctor sleeping right there next to me every night and I'm not using that 'resource'"!

Well, I'll have to wait until I finish this class anyways...besides, the university I'm transferring to has a program that "hooks you up," so to speak, with the kind of things you want. I might call them up.

Sigh, I'm too tired to keep on writing for now...until later my friends!

~Julie

Ugh, I'm really starting to dislike summer school. It's the fault of this stupid presentation that I have to do for Wednesday that is stressing me out beyond belief. I prefer tests, by far. This is too abstract...lol I have to be creative! YUCK!

Well, atleast it's almost over. I only have three days of class left spread out over the next week and a half. Then I'll be on "vacation" for about a month until classes start back up in August. I don't have anything planned, except for visiting the beach, hopefully. My boyfriend won't be around most of the time I have off because he is planning on going to Virginia for OCS...it's something to do with the Marines. So, he'll be gone for 6 weeks. :-(

:-) I'm treating myself to a Coca-Cola. I don't drink them that often because I don't want my teeth to get so stained.

Sigh, I don't have my baby, she's with her other grandma today. I miss that cute little thing. She's at that age when everything she does is cute. I can't get enough of it!

Man, it's really windy outside...

I can't stop visiting MomMD. I check it like 5 million times a day. Can you be addicted to MomMD? lol

I feel crummy. My boyfriend, who's name is Daniel, by the way, is pretty depressed for a whole bunch of different reasons. I don't know how to help him. I can't go visit him, I have too much work to do, and I think he's got a lot of work to do to...

When he's "good", he's great! But man, when he's not "good", he's BAD. It almost seems like if he gets depressed too easily. I feel for him, I know he's going through pretty rough times, but I just don't understand why he doesn't do something about it...he says he can't think clearly enough to come up with a solution to his problems...sigh...

I'm really worried about him. I'm even to the point that I'm starting to feel guilty, thinking that his problems are my fault. I know he misses me and Amanda, and I know that part of his depression is due to our current physical seperation. I think to myself, "If I could just visit him more often, or if I could move back to Gainesville, maybe he wouldn't be so depressed." I also blame myself for not spending much time with him on the phone, because I'm "too busy" with you girls already know what.

I see him suffering and I can't help but think that I'm doing a terrible thing in dedicating so much time and energy into premed when he obviously needs me....

I know that in reality it's not my fault at all, and that I'm not doing anything wrong by being premed. I'm just admitting that the thoughts cross my mind.

I just wish I could help him somehow....

he's just so lonely up there in Gainesville all by himself. But I've even offered him to come HERE and live with me at my moms house, who's totally willing to have him, and he refuses. I don't know what to do... :-(

So I cleaned up my room! YAY! (Let's see how long THAT lasts!) Well, it's not spotless. The closet is a MESS, but hey, atleast the room LOOKS clean, right?

My boyfriend and his problems have me all stressed out. Like if I need anymore stress!
I feel sick to my stomach because of how worried I am about him. :-(

Okay, I think it's about time I confess to my Harry Potter OBSESSION. You all are going to DIE laughing once you hear this. Hermione is my IDOL. She's my hero. I want to be just like her. I WANT TO GO TO HOGWARTS! But lets just say that Hogwarts isn't accepting applications right now (in other words, they don't exist), so I have to settle for the next best thing: Medical School!

(Okay, go ahead, laugh it all out.)

Doctors are healers, and throughout history healing has often been related to, yeah, you've got it right--MAGIC!

Not only that, but I get a KICK out of the scientific name for things, such as Trichomonas Vaginalis or Trypanosoma. It reminds me of all the "magic spells" in latin from Harry Potter. And just like Hermione always knows EVERY FREAKING DETAIL there is to know, I feel like I have to be that way for MCAT.

Think I'm crazy yet?

I have such a headache. Today was my final exam in Bio 2, and even though I had done so wonderful throughout the entire semester (I think my average was about 105% before this exam) I am afraid that I might be getting a B. See, I had put off studying for this exam because I knew that I didn't need to do that well to get an A, infact I only need to get a D on the final so that I could get an A. But my @#%$%^@ boyfried kept me up ALL night on the phone. From like 9PM until 4AM. GRRRRR...he's driving me crazy. :banghead:

I'll speak more about him later, if I get the chance. I have to go pick Amanda up from daycare now...

If I get a B in this class because of last night I'm going to scream. :censored: :yikes:

This relationship is driving me insane.

I love this man sooo very much and yet I am starting to think that the best thing for us is to be apart. We're complete opposites, and his personality gets on my nerves, and mine gets on his nerves...what are we to do?!

We've been together for over 3 years and had some AMAZING moments in which I've been convinved that he is the person I am meant to spend the rest of my life with...

and I would be convinved of that, if it weren't for his personality! He is SO negative. He gets upset over the tiniest little things all the time. THAT upsets me. I can't stand negative people. I'm the polar opposite. Cheerful almost ALWAYS. He brings me down. I can't stand it. He's makes it seem like if depression were a perfectly normal part of life,....and I disagree. I think depression is unhealthy...

I can't see myself ending this relationship. It pains me so much to even consider it. It's so ridiculous! I love him, yet I'm gonna break it off with him? What am I, crazy? WHO DOES THAT!

I believe in sticking by your man, through thick and thin, for better or for worse...and so I've stood by him this long. But at what cost I ask myself...at the cost of my happiness? Am I to spend every day of my life by someone with such a negative way of being? What would be the point in that? The bad would outweigh the good....

So what's life about anyways? Making yourself happy, or making the ones you love happy? I feel committed to this already, I've expressed that to him, aren't I obliged to follow through and be there for him, loving him, no matter the sacrifice it takes...no matter what's at stake, what the cost may be....

Or should I take back my words of unconditional love, and think of me and my happiness? WHAT? Am I selling out? What ever happened to my soul? Do I not realize that I'm talking about the one I love here...not just anyone...would I really put myself before them, would I really think of my needs before his? Then how can I say I love him? Were I referring to my child I'd be deamed an unfit mother, but I refer to my man...and people think I'm doing what's right, thinking of me first is what's right, according to them, in regards to my man...no wonder the divorce rate is so high! We're all so selfish! We don't know how to love unconditionally...we don't even bother to try at times. I know I'm trying. But it's so hard. So hard to think that I could be miserable for the greater part of my days beside this person because of our incompatibility, which I am very aware of..... and yet I refuse to let it come between me and my love, my unconditional love, for him....atleast, I'd like to think so, I'd like to think that I won't let it come between us....or do I? Should I let it come between us? Is it justifiable?

Is love not enough? Is compatibility that important?

Is loving him above me what's right? Or is loving me above him what's right? If I thought the former, then I'd stick by his side loving him...and I would probably become a very miserable person, for I am so unhappy in this relationship right now. But if I beleived the latter, I would be free from that misery, and yet would I ever know what it is to love? Would I ever give my heart completely? Would it ever be justified to put someone else before me? Would I be selfish? Would I be worthy of love? Who would want to love someone so selfish?

Either way, it's a terrible outcome. I either get brought down by negativity to prove my unconditional love, or I am a self-absorbed bitch who thinks of only herself, left to feel the pain of love-lost due to her own selfishness. I can't seem to escape the punishment!

I had such a good time on the 4th! I've discovered that I live only 30 minutes from Daytona Beach and I LOVE IT! I saw the shuttle go up on the 4th from the coast, which was WAY cool. (Daytona Beach is like an hour north of the Kennedy Space Center.) We also saw fireworks on the beach that night...SO COOL! And I bought a bodyboard and am starting to think I want to take surfing lessons. Life has been so relaxing these past few days. :-) Compared to the stress of school, it's just unbelievable how worked up I get over grades and what not...I feel like I'm living a completely different life right now.

Boyfriend and I are good. He left for Virginia at 4:30 am for some kind of officer training for the marines... I miss him. :-( I know I complain about him like crazy, but I love him to death. On that note, I have to mention that I have realized that when I'm relaxed, as I've been this past week, I'm much more "into" him, and much more tolerant of things than I am when I'm going to school. I'm starting to think school turns me into some kind of monster who cares about nothing else but getting A's. I become so much more irritable and intolerant of him...not a good thing. Not a good thing at all.

This week has been so cool, so great and so relaxing, that I am starting to give a lot more importance to how many hours a week I wanna work...not that many. Work sucks--why do we have to work so hard? Can't we just go on vacation forever? :-) (daydreaming)

I had been trying to figure out what specialty interested me. I concluded screw surgery of any kind. I don't want that kind of stress. Screw derm and rads and gas, I don't want the kind of stress it takes to be so competitive. For the same reason of not wanting stress, screw EM. I'm sticking to peds it's been my calling from the beginning and I'm 85% sure that will not change. Everyone advices me not to worry about it, but it's me, I can't help but feel the need to figure out my specialty of interest. I need that sense of direction.

Baby's 2 years old now! Man how time goes by so quickly! She had a great time at her party, we just let all the kids play with the toys....


Well...battery is running low so I've got to go!

Later!

Wow, I haven't been here in a WHILE. Since July last year, I think. Well, here's what happened. The Israeli/Lebanese (last summer) conflict set me on fire, and I totally dropped Biology and switched to Political Science. After a semester of that I got jaded, and I switched to Spanish. So, now I'm a Spanish major. No longer pre-med. I've been at UCF for 2 semesters now, and I should be graduating next May. I've decided to become either a Spanish teacher or a Spanish interpreter/translator. I don't love it though, I just like it. I miss the idea of becoming a doctor. A huge thing happened to me, however. I had a conversion, I went from being atheist to being Catholic. Quite orthodox, for that matter. So...now I want a REALLY big family, because I don't plan on using contraception. :-) I will use Natural Family Planning if I'm broke, lol, but for the most part, I think I'll have a big family. This makes medicine seem like an impossibility. But I'm still so attracted to it, so I was starting to really think about becoming a Physicians Assistant. I know for sure I'm gonna finish my Spanish degree, then get a job so I can provide for the child I already have, and then maybe think about further schooling. I just signed on here to share my thoughts. I've been really depressed lately, I guess the boyfriend got to me. We've been having a hard time, but, I think things are working themselves out. I personally have been having one hell of a time, because I still can't seem to take care of myself, not to mention my daughter, and she's almost 3. I need to learn how to cook and clean once and for all!!!

Anyways, point is, PA is on the back of my mind.

Boyfriend and I have made it past our 4 year anniversary. :-) He's really wonderful...even though he stresses me out beyond belief sometimes.

~Julie

PS How time flies! I'm now a 22 year old, the mother of an almost 3 year old. One more year till graduation from undergraduate!!!

Yup life sucks.

I'm stuck in this track of graduating in one year from a Spanish BA. I like it, but I certainly don't love it. I'm 22 with a baby and I still live with my mother, she's paying for everything, so I'm dieing to graduate so I can take this burden off her. My boyfriend has his plans to go to med school, but that won't be happening any time soon. He's just like me, a student, still broke, still living with his parents.

I don't know what to do. I've been considering PA school, but that requires paid patient contact experience, which I don't have any, and it will take time to get, so I figure if it's gonna take me 1 year to get experience plus 2 years of PA school if I get in, I might as well go to med school. Problem is there's a PA school here where I live, but there's no med school currently (they're building a new one). I don't want to have to move. I wouldn't be able to afford it, for one, and I don't want to take the baby far from her dad. UGH.

What am I supposed to DO????

Life sucks.

~Julie

I hope noone is wasteing their time reading this one because I'm totally just useing it to vent!

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :guilty:

Mainly, being away from SO. We've already been apart 2 years due to school in the past...Is it worth it?
Sigh......... :boggled:

I have been so depressed lately...and I don't really think I've ever been THIS depressed before, with the exception of the time that my boyfriend broke up with me and I had to move back home...but that depression only lasted a couple of weeks, because we got back together soon thereafter.

Due to so many problems with my relationship, I've been "unhappy" throughout a good portion of it. But what I mean by that is "not happy", and not necessarily "sad". I think the better word is I've felt "unsatisfied" with the relationship. But recently, I've felt something different. A pervasive sadness, a heart sunken feeling...due to the relationship in part, and due to other problems in my life as well...and all though my "side effects" have always been problems for me... (excessive sleep, loss of appetite, trouble concentrating, feeling unhappy, lack of energy)...they've never been accompanied with such an intense feeling of sadness.

Granted, now that I'm typing this things have been getting a bit better. But it really sucks to be feeling depressed! And I hate how it affects my schoolwork, and my personal upkeep, for that matter.

So....focus, Julie. Med school. This summer I'm taking Physics 2053, amongst another 3 classes that I need for my major (2 4000 level courses, 1 1000 level course). So far, Physics is good...it actually seems very easy, I'm a bit surprised. But that's a great surprise! I hope it continues like this.

I'm trying to keep up with volunteering, but haven't gotten that in order yet.

My boyfriend has accepted, and actually encouraged, my med school goals, despite the fact that he's aware of the distance it could cause, so I'm very grateful for that.

I'm so decided on where I want to live geographically (due to whether) that I have my fingers crossed I can make it into one of the schools in central to south Florida. I won't be applying anytime soon (not for another year) but I've got my eyes set on UCF, USF, LECOM-Brandenton, NSUCOM, UM, and I think FIU is opening a med school. I don't know enough about Osteopathic medicine to say that I prefer it, but I know enough to say that I feel it's just as good as Allopathic, so I don't have any issues becoming a DO. I love the idea of being able to use my hands more, so OMT really appeals to me. I think I would like to learn this even if I attend an Allopathic school. But the bigger factor on which school I go to will be location. If I get accepted at UCF, I am SO staying her ein my hometown. If I get accepted at LECOM-Brandenton and FSU (which I would of course apply there, despite the fact that it's north of me), I would most likely choose LECOM-Brandenton because it's SOUTH of me! You might think I'm being very superficial, thinking of weather as such an important part of my decision, but I was born and raised in Orlando, Florida, and frankly it's TOO COLD here for me in the winter. I am a miserable person in the cold. lol So the further south, THE BETTER.

I'm having issues with my personality...I'm a convert to Christianity (Catholicism), and I'm not used to "behaving". But my convictions tell me it's the right thing to do...so I'm trying. Yet, I'm torn between this new "devout, orthodox, Catholic" side of me and the old and familiar "freak, devil in a red dress, naughty" side of me....it's really driving me crazy. I know most Christians struggle with their imperfections, but the extremes in me are so big that I feel like I'm two different people in one body!

AHHHH!!!!

OKay, those are my thoughts for now....adios!

Everything is going well, except that I'm SO exhausted. I'm pretty happy with my decision to become premed again, because truthfully, I can't imagine my self doing ANYTHING else other than being a doctor. I don't care if it's MD, DO or carribean. I don't care if I have to apply once, thrice, or 7 times. It's the only thing I REALLY want to do.

Physics is hard girls! I'm taking too many credits over the summer so there's not enough time to study for physics, and it's killing me.

I'm sooo inlove with my baby girl, she's so smart and beautiful. But I could never be a stay at home mom! She would drive me insane.

I need to get some sleep....nighty night!

Well, Physics sucks.

lol

So yeah, as much as I wish I could take the MCAT next Spring, it's not gonna happen. I've been stressing over all of this a lot lately - the usual, getting good grades, volunteering and starting the application process for medical school. I really want to get it over with! I don't have the patience I need right now...I feel like I'm rushing myself. MUST SLOW DOWN. I need to tell myself: it's okay that I won't be done with the pre-reqs in Spring, it's okay that I can't take the MCAT until August 2008, it's okay if I feel that's too late to take it for that cycle and I can postpone my application until the following cycle and it's also okay if I don't postpone it. I can't rush myself because that's unecessary additional stress.

This entry was just to tell myself those things, lol.

One step at a time, Hermione, one step at a time.

Okay, so I've accepted that I can't rush myself. That being said, here is my plan:

I'm a Spanish major, and I'll most likely graduate Summer 2008. I'll only include pre-med stuff here:


I've already taken CHM I, BSC I and II.

Summer 2007:
PHY I
Volunteering

Fall 2007:
PHY I
CHM II
Volunteering

Spring 2008:
O-Chem I
Genetics (maybe?)
Studying for MCAT

Summer 2008
O-Chem II
Graduation (I predict that my overall GPA will be about 3.3 and my science GPA about 3.5)

MCAT prep course
Start application

August 2008:
Take MCAT

Hopefully, I get accepted SOMEWHERE for Fall 2009.

I'm a bit afraid that taking the MCAT in August is too late for that application cycle...hopefully not.

I had a great weekend...Saturday I hung out with my boyfriend and baby and we went shopping, and later that night grandma babysat and we went out for a drink. Today I had family in from out of town, cousins, with two young boys who I love because they're so cute and smart (the oldest is the only 6th grader I can see myself hanging out with! lol), and we went swimming - the whole family, my mom and her cousin, with her husband, their two kids, my daughter and myself...and I loved it! But we had to get out of the pool because it started to thunder. The point here is that I basically did no homework. I intended on studying all weekend, and ended up not doing it at all.

Why? Because the one thing I'm afraid of is having to study 24-7. I don't mind working hard all week, and having to put in a couple of hours in on the weekend too...but I don't want my whole weekend consumed with homework. This allows me no time to enjoy my life...and as much as I REALLY want to be a doctor...I don't want to forget to live my life. So, this is my test to myself...can I get into med school without studying from 9 am to 9 pm on Saturday and Sunday every weekend of the month? If yes, then great! If not, I'm forced to reconsider. I'm very willing to make sacrifices, but I need to remember to maintain balance in life and that we only have one life to live. Just one. One opportunity to get the best out of this world. I want to be a doctor- I want to serve others, my religious views, my political views, and my upbringing all make me feel inclined to serve, and to sacrifice...but everything in moderation.