So I have been coming to this site for a while, since about 2005. And figured I would start a journal to talk about my journey, reading others really inspired me so why not.

A little about me.

I am currently in my Pre-med days.

I am 27 (I think) :scratchchin: 28 in August.

I am a single parent; I have a 6 year old baby girl, who is AMAZING of course.

We just got through our first Dance Recital last night; apparently she goes to one of the larger dance studios in our city. There are over 1500 students. The recital goes over 2 nights... Thank goodness both our performances were on the same night.
But anyway I digress...

So I have a 6 year old, I am currently a Systems Engineer for the largest (I think) government contractor in the US.

I decided to go to medical school about 3 years ago.

I assumed that it was not really an option for me until; I went to an Open house at TCOM, Texas College of Osteopathic Medicine.

There I realized the dream, there was no mold for what makes a medical student, and if you had the will, determination, and abilities you can go for it. So I began my journey

I finished up my pre-reqs over about 2 yrs of night classes at UTA, and just took my MCAT in April.

Not really sure how that went, I studied pretty hard, and felt pretty comfortable with the material, but I didn’t really study strategy.

I could not afford one of those pricey prep classes, so I didnt it on my own.
We shall see how that turned out in a couple of weeks.

I don’t want to make this painstakingly long, so I will talk more about my back ground in the next post...

Ok, SO I couldn’t wait to update, I think it’s been a Whole 10 minutes.

So anyway back to my background.

I graduated from college in 04 with a BS in Business Computer Information Systems. I actually love computers and hope to some day participate in research or advisory boards that develop medical technology.

So as I mentioned before, I have been on the Med School journey for a while.

I had planned on applying last year, but did not get my MCAT done in time.

So I once again hope to apply this year, but am awaiting my results.

But I won’t be terribly discouraged if I do not receive the results I wanted.

I actually am considering a Masters program preferably TCOM's PostBacc program, to strengthen my application.

Trying to complete this journey while working full-time and being a mom, has somewhat put me at a small dis-advantage to others.

I have not been involved in any research projects, or spent a lot of time with physicians.

I did get to shadow one physician, and I volunteer at the hospital.

But I don’t really have any LOR's from any Drs or professors. I was always scared to ask.

I did get up the nerve once to ask, but it never worked out.

I think that’s going to be a challenge in my application, but I have prayed about it, and hopefully something will work out.

Ok, so I will stop there until I have something more interesting to talk about. But that’s a brief synopsis of My Journey so far.

So I am back... Well first off I just realized I made a mistake in my first post. I am actually already 28 !!!

Wow... how did I make a mistake on my age? I think time is starting to all run together.

So any who...

Just had my 6th Mother's day... it was cool didn’t do much, went to my moms house and had lunch. And then went home.

U know I should probably organize this a little better instead of just randomly running my mouth.
I will break it up into personal / work/ Pre-med.
I know this is about my pre-med journey, but I think they all kind of tie together. So if I discuss them all it helps me to look back up and see the inside from the outside and not get so overwhelmed. Maybe

So let’s get started...

Pre-med...
Well not a lot has changed on that front.
I volunteered last Friday in the NICU at one of the larger hospitals in our area.

I only get to volunteer every other Friday, because that’s when I am off from my full-time job.

I really enjoy it. I used to volunteer at a different hospital, and they were really nice, but there was little to no patient interaction, I kind of just answered the phones. But I was helping out, and that was nice.

Volunteering is kind of a challenge for me; I hate to feel like I am in someone’s way. So it took me a while to actually start asking the nurses if there was something I could do for them.

I am also a little concerned for my application because I have no LOR's from any doctors. I have had the opportunity to shadow once, but I didn’t get an LOR. So I am a little concerned on how that will affect my application. I hope it does not.

It scares me to death to ask random Drs if they would let me shadow them. I guess it’s a personal thing; I have a major fear of rejection.

I guess that’s enough on that... I may come back.

Work

So it’s Monday morning, and I at work. I feel really bad that I don’t care much for my job, since I am getting paid to do it.
But I refuse to spend the next 40 years of my life barely being able to get out of the bed in the morning, because I don’t want to do what I am doing.

But I have had a interesting journey here, and I still have more to come, (Until I get accepted to Medical School) :wave:

I can go on forever about it... so i will move on...

Personal

So I have been kind of struggling in my personal life. Being a single parent has been a challenge in these trying economic times. It is getting more and more difficult.

.... ok so i stopped typing in the middle of that thought to go do some work, and its been a few hours now.. :guilty:

so i dont remeber my thought.

well i guess i will bring this entry to a close, and get back to the J O B :rolleyes:

So, time has been passing slowly in some areas, fast in others...

Premed---

So I got my results back on my MCAT, I didn’t do as well as I would have liked, but I think I am going to go ahead and apply.

i have actually started all the apps, but have began to allow doubt to creep in, and so i have began to procrastinate.

I also was inputting my grades, in the 3 application websites, ( Tx,MD,DO) and start to get concerned about my grades. My first year in college wasn’t very good.

And on top of that, I do not have any LORs from any Doctors, and most of the DO schools require one from a DO. Now I have had exposure, and even shadowed. But no LOR's just never got up the guts to ask.

So I am a little concerned, I am going to make a big investment in the application process. And i would hate to do that if i need to spend another year making myself stronger. But thats a year without work, incuring more school debt. I have faith that someone will see my potential and work, and give me a chance to prove myself. :crossfingers:

If it’s meant to be it will be. Right

But if its not, then I have plans to go into a full time POST Bacc program, because I cant really make myself a stronger candidate keeping the full time job that I have right now.

But I guess we will see...

Personal---
My personal life is about the same I guess. I just moved this weekend. I moved in with my mom, which is a challenge, we are totally opposites, and u add in a 6 year old, its just becomes even more interesting.
It was kind of a hard decision to make, but to afford the application process I had to. And hopefully (God Willing) there will be some interview travel cost associated , so I just had to have a way to maintain my expenses and get through this...

So once again we shall see...

Still Single, But I Did meat the man of my dreams last night…
Only problem he was still in my dreams…

Hopefully I will run into him again on the outside..

Work -----

Work is still work. I guess as long as i get Paid on Friday... there are no complaints..

Well, we are almost at a month since the last time I made an entry, how fast time passes.

So I guess I will get started.

Premed -------

So how have premed things been going for me?

Well I got my TMDAS, AMCAS, and AACOMAS applications filled out, but not submitted yet.

It seems like every time I think I am going to have enough money to do them, something else comes up. But I guess I will talk about that in the personal section.

Anywhoo, I am so glad I finally got all of the classes filled in, and primary essays completed, when you first start that it seems like it will take forever.

I guess I could start my secondary essays, but I guess I should wait to see who request on from me.

I used Interfolio to collect and submit my LOR's. Got all the addresses, but yet again, waiting for the funds to finance the delivery of them.

I actually kind of miss taking classes; I enjoyed learning new things, and doing some critical thinking. Now I kind of just go home, cook dinner, and then watch TV.

Its kind of funny how some of my family keeps asking me am I out of medical school... LOL...

And when I say applying to medical school, they are like WHAT, I thought u were in medical school.

I guess when I said I was talking pre-reqs to apply to medical school, it sounded like,

"I am taking medical school classes” who knows...

But I guess that’s about it on the Pre-med front for now

Personal

Now I on the personal side I could go on forever but I will keep it short, as I mentioned before I moved out of my place to stay with my mom to help her out and to "save money" for myself and so far, I am just as broke as before,

It has only been a couple of month, and it seems like one thing after another happens,

My mom was in the hospital for 2 weeks, so that’s two weeks without pay for her, and my car broke down, and that’s going to be about 600 bucks to fix, and that’s only to get it driving, not fix everything else that needs to be fixed. But I guess is if take care of everything I am supposed to it may last me longer, It will be paid off in February. I was hoping it would take me through medical school, because goodness knows I can not afford a new car.

It’s kind of frustrating, but I know things could totally be worse, so I am grateful, that I have a roof over mine and my daughters head and we have food to eat, (not always what we want) but food to eat non- the less.

I am truly blessed

On another note.

I was also kind of hoping I would be a little "less" single by now, but so far that’s a no go...

you know its sad, when your uncle ask you are you still single, and then when you say, Yes, he is like "how old are you?" lol... and then ends it with a laugh... :crossfingers:


Work

Work is still WORK... I mean it’s a bit frustrating, but it giving me a pay check, that I eventually shell out to other people, but a pay check... :rolleyes:

We actually have to work mandatory over time for the next couple of months, so I am not able to volunteer on my off Friday s like I had been. But once again, I can use the money.

to be honest, they day that I get a letter of acceptance :crossfingers: , I will begin crafting out my letter of departure, even though I wont be submitting it until 2 weeks, before classes start, ( I need all the money I can get).. lol..

But as I said before, it is defiantly not the worst job, I ever had, but it is just a stop on the Journey that is MY LIFE, and I am grateful for the opportunity.

I guess that’s about it for me,

I hope that anyone who reads this has an AWSOME day or evening

Not a lot to say today... I am hungry only had popcorn for lunch, and I worked out this morning, so I think i am out of energy for today.


Premed

Well I finally submitted my Texas apps. That was very exciting, now still have two more to submit.

I must admit i am little nervous, but i will keep faith, that if it’s my time, it will happen


Personal

Nothing much going on hear stayed at home over the July 4th weekend. Watched Tv. Read a bit.

Work

About the same here. Oh yea. Today is my 5th anniversary here. I guess that’s an accomplishment. Its the longest i have ever worked in one place. But this is also my first professional Job. soo...

Have a Super Day

Premed

Well I submitted my AMCAS yesterday.... u know I really thought I was doing my apps early, but I failed to calculate in the time for the application service to review my file. I should have submitted in June.... But to be quite honest with myself, I couldn’t afford it; I still can’t really afford it. But at least I am progressing. Thank you Jesus.

Personal

Well I am starting not to be a fan of the weekend; I really miss having my own space with just me and my daughter. My mom is a sometimes a challenge. We are very very different people, with different goals and choices. But this arrangement is a benefit to us... mostly her, but u can’t tell that... Anywhoo...

I really wanted to get in better shape before my birthday... In one month... But I have fallen off this weight loss horse so many times; it’s hard to get back up... I mean I try just to eat right and exercise and stay away from those crazy fad diets... but its a challenge sometimes especially living here with my mom, she cares little to nothing about the outcome of what you eat. And when she cooks dinner at night, I hate to be like no I am not going to eat that... because I don’t want to hear response. So anyway... just another complaint I guess...

Work
What can I say... nothing much is different...? I am still employed, so that’s a good thing.... We had to work this Friday, and had free pizza so that was cool...

That’s about all for my simple life., :0 ) Hopefully I will have some great news to come about completed apps, and interviews, and best of all :yes: acceptances...

Hello,
So today is an ok day so far,
Premed

I was actually having a crappie day yesterday at work, but then got to my desk after a disappointing meeting, and got the Email from Texas App system, and my app had been Verified, and sent to schools. I was literally clapping and laughing at my desk. lol... so that’s super awsome

Not much else going on the pre-med side, still have not submitted my AACOMAS, something is always due, or something comes up. So hopefully by August First. :wave:

Premed

My AMCAS and Texas has verified, and I still have not submitted my AACOMAS
I have finished all my Texas Secondaries, 1 of my AMCAS, and just got 2 seconderies today, hoped to have the $ to submit them by Friday after next.

Still have not received a secondary email for 6 of them, hope to get them soon.

I must say I am a little bit nervous, I know that my credentials are not as good as most of the other applicants.

I do I have a back up plan, and will plan to reapply but I would really like to get in this year.

I am going to have to take a class this fall, there was a class that was not offered in the evening, at my university, and I needed to take it at a CC, but for some reason never did, so I will be taking it this fall....

Personal


Things are kind of just going in this area. School is about to start in 2 weeks, so gotta start getting my little one ready for that, and myself of course...

Work

Well I am blessed to have a job, let me start out with that.

But, it’s a challenge, and it doesn’t seem like the environment I would thrive in, but I am sure that the things needed to survive there are needed in most areas to some degree...

Good Morning...

So first off Happy Birthday to me. :boggled:

This life is crazy, MY life is crazy. sometimes its so challenging to be around those others with their "Perfect Lives" and you wonder, why me.... what did I do, to get the crappy cards... ?
I
n the end it doesn’t really matter, all I can do is stay in the game, and play the cards I was dealt... :yes:

So... its been a year since I made my first entry... Well unfortunatly.... i have no good news... LOL..

i did not make it in on my first go around. At first i was going to concede... and just stay where i was... but after a few days.. thinking about... what i would do next.. I decided.. I am not quiting..

When i applied i knew i had more work to do.. I should have listened to myself instead of others.. and worked more on being a better applicant.. than just applying and hoping magic happens..

well... now i am going to listen to myself. I am going to leave my fulltime job.. this summer, and go back to school full time.

I will also submit DO applications this year.. that i could not afford to complete last year.

i have a lot of work to do... but I am excited about getting it done..

Hi! I am sorry to hear that! But, like you wrote above, I believe there is a higher power with a higher purpose who has perfect timing which isn't always aligned with our timing! Don't give up your dream!!
May I ask what you think you did wrong? What did your GPA/MCAT look like? I am about to embark on this journey myself, and I like to talk to as many people as possible! If you would prefer to PM me, please do so!

Ok... So i am back... First off..

Thanks jkiely03 for the encouraging words..

where do i start

Ok... so I totally accidently hit the Add Reply Button instead the Full Reply Form button for some reason... MY BADD...

Now where was I...?
School
SO I had to reapply for admission to my undergraduate university... because I had been out so long... been having some trouble getting to registers... so I have a call into help desk and spoke with and advisor about the advising hold… just waiting on my system Id to be reactivated so I can get into a class..!

I think I am just going to start off retaking O-Chem. and Biochem. I had planned to go back full time, and finishing the BS Biology degree, but new events have changed my mind for now...

I am looking forward to getting started...

Work

Still is the same... I had considered staying and just trying to make the best happen hear... but then QUICKLY realized that was not the best option for me.

I am looking forward to my final days, but of course am going to miss the benefits of full-time career employment. Like health insurance, 401K, and a very decent weekly pay check.
But I am stepping out on Faith, and opening a new chapter in my book of life...

ALSO... I have accepted a position for this super cool program here, and really look forward to starting that position. Will share more once I have all the details, and officially make the transition.

personal

This has pretty much been the same ... been really working on trying to find a better me, but have not been as successful as I would like.

I am not giving up, just looking for the defining moment that makes it more of a priority then a chore... But I am sure it will come...

My little one is Now 7 years old, going on 22. I love her to death, and she continues to surprise me everyday...

I do get a little scared moving into the future knowing the demands that lie before me... but I have faith that things will work out. She will always be my number one priority, and with time management, prioritization, and patience we will succeed...

Good luck to anyone applying this year...

I decided not to apply to my DO schools yet, I would rather submit next year when I have made improvements.

Well I am going to have my lunch now...

But before I go, I would like to say...

I am grateful to those who have laid down their lives for the freedom that I have.
:unitedstates: Memorial Day 2009

So I figured I would update, but unfortunately not a lot new has happened. As time continues to pass, I get more and more concerned about the future.

School
So my reapplication to my previous Undergrad where i completed my preqs a few years ago was granted , but found out I will not be able to recieve financial aide, for the undergrad courses. And that would be ok, if I knew I was going to be keeping my full time job, but I don’t know that I will... This was really discouraging, and I have no Idea ... what I am going to do about that....

Did find an online O-chem. and Biochem course, so that’s good if I end up staying at my current employment...
But have heard conflicting stories, on the risk of taking an online pre-req.

I did go ahead and submit a couple of DO school choices, instead of waiting... it was a split moment decision... who knows...


Work

I am still at my full-time place... I have gotten increasingly apathetic due to my looming decisions that need to be made.

Unfortunately I have not heard anything from the other potential opportunity I was so happily mentioning in my previous post. You have to wonder if it is a sign that I should leave things alone... or a test of my will and faith in God.

I tell u what... I have always had trouble with ambiguity and I have no idea... what’s going on...

Personal

This is still about the same... my little one is doing good... I still wish I was not as single as I am... but apparently that’s another thing that just does not seem to work out for me... I try to keep my faith on that issue, but that still does not help me fight the feeling disappointment...

Anywhoo... that’s about it...

Hope anyone who is reading this has a great day.

B]Pre-Med[/B]

Well, this is about the same; I mentioned that I submitted my DO application that I could not afford to do last year.

So far 4 weeks in and it’s still processing... Note to anyone... reading... APPLY EARLY...

When people say that... they really mean it...

I don’t really know what I expect from that application, but at least I can say I have done it.

And I will defiantly re-apply if I am able to considerably improve my application.

Speaking of which, it seems like I will be doing that while continuing to work my Full time job.

The opportunity I thought I was going to get has not come through... so I was offered a different position at my current job, and have accepted it.

So....
I will plan to take my BIOCHEM class online or try and find the early class at my local University.

I have not had any luck finding a DR to shadow, but I am going to try sending out more letters.

This is the really hard part for me; I hate to feel like I am bothering someone.

Work

Work is still about the same, I am still in the same group for a while, and it’s frustrating to feel like u does not contribute to the team.

But as I said above... I was told I could move to a new position at a currently Unknown time, but it’s a new environment KIND OF... used to work there before i did this... but either way... it’s for a different mgr.

I guess it was sort of a good/bad situation regarding the other Job I thought I was going to get.

It would require me to leave my full-time employment, with my 401k benefits, and decent salary.

But it would have put me in the medical field, with the potential for learning new things, and being around relevant situations. But unfortunate the "no response" I have gotten back from the person that told me I had the job, probably means... it was not going to work out.

So since I have been offered the other position in my current job, I am going to have to Decline when he does eventually get back to me.

I hope it’s not the end of my med school dreams, but ... I have to think if my family first (my daughter)

Anywhoo... enough of that

Personal

This aspect of my life is pretty sucky now too...

I tried to tell a friend... that I thought about possibly be more than being a Friend... and he has not talked to me since...

I actually would have been ok, if he would have just said No... Not interested... but he said NOTHING.... and this is AFTER he told me he previously... had feelings for me...

Soo... it’s been a little crazy in my head dealing with all these different thoughts... but as usual I will get through it... It’s what I do... :yes:

It’s just one of these days... I would love to have things work out for me...
Medical school, husband, family...

It just makes me a little defeated sometimes... :scratchchin:

I think that’s the one I will go with...

Well... if anyone reads this... I hope you have a GREAT day... and thanks... for making it through my ramblings...

So.. No DO school interviews either. I am not suprised.

I am at a total loss... I dont know if i should give up or not...

NOt because i dont think i can get it. I think i can get if I improve my application.

I am concerned with the "Should". I dont know if God is trying to tell me i should accpet where I am, and not be so selfish. OR what...

I got a promotion on my job. And Yes its nice to have the bit of extra money, but it does not make me want to stay. But with this job I can pay bills, and provide for my child.

I know my time and money will be signifiganty different once I start medical school. I feel my daughter and I are strong enough to handle it, but once again. Should i do that if i am already gainfully employed.

My mind and heart are tired. And I need to make up my mine.

I thought with the promotion that would be enough to force me to defer or give up the Med School Dream, but it has not stopped... It is still in my mind... I even feel like i am becoming depressed about the idea of settling for where i am now..

Im lost... Very lost...

Dear Diamondice79,
I enjoyed reading your diary stories and I felt very similar to certain life situations that you are facing.
I can't really give you an answer to your situation because I am basically struggling to go to school while working full time, raising a 3 year old, and living with my boyfriend.
There are some obstacles. . on the way but don't give up. Even if you feel like you can not make it, don't leave behind your dreams! It doesn't matter if this dream takes longer or its harder. Live it and make it happen.
I used to live with my parents in law, boyfriend, and daughter! I don't know how you do it. It's really hard.
I only lived with them for two years and it was enough.
Even though i can't save enough for school due to living expenses, i would rather live alone with my bf and girl.
So you are my hero!
Some things in life take time. . . idk why
But, God is holding somenthing better later on for you.
KEEP GOING!

Thank You IC2448... I appreciate your kind words. And wish you good fortune and blessings on your Journey.

Wow... So here I am again. I thought i had put medical school far enough in the back of my mind to let it go... But it keeps coming back

I CAN NOT go on like this. I have to do something. but I dont know what that is. I thought it was going to be accept where i was and live with it. But I cant... I still want to be a doctor... My little keeps telling me that i am going to be a doctor...

My mind is going crazy, i have no one to talk to about this..

Hi Diamondice79,
Your story is very similar to mine, so I just had to post. I graduated from HS in 1992, got a BS in Computer Science in 1997, worked as a network engineer until 2002, and then went back for postbacc classes to apply to med school. In the meantime, I had a couple of kids along the way, volunteered in an ER and then worked as a clerk in an ER, trained as a scrub tech, and then got into med school. I was also interested in TCOM but ended up in Oklahoma and am a 1st year at OSU-COM in Tulsa. Long story short, don't give up on your dream! If I can do this at 36, anyone can do this!! You might have to change your approach on getting into med school, but it is possible! If you have any questions at all, I would be glad to share what worked for me...

How Awesome... Thank you for sharing that with me. I want to slap my self siting hear a year later thinking what i could have done if i just made the decsion instead of being safe. GOOD LUCK on your first year. Please keep in touch when time permits I would love to hear how things are going

I am excited yet scared. I just got the approval from my AWESOME Director to take a BIOCHEM class i need in the Fall. I am going to study to retake the MCAT, and I am going to work very hard at trying to get into medical school again. I feel like a small cloud has been lifted from my heart.

Now time to get back in the grind of doing a lot of hard work in short amount of time.

I think i am going to try and attend the OldPremds conference this year, I went in 2008 and I really enjoyed it, and it really help with the motivation.

reading my last post from January 2010 is a bit depressing, becaue my feelings have not changed. I got so busy with work and my daughter, that for a while it was easy to look over my failure.

but i decided i am ging to try again. I am begining to study for the MCAT Starting today.

I dont plan on taking it until January, but I really want to be prepared.

I went to the OLD premeds Conference in Vegas this year, and it was very very encouraging, All the women that spoke, had all started Medical school after the age of 30.

I right here and now state, that this will be my season. I will study, reapply and start medical school, by next August.

More to come...