Everyone's journey is different. Similar things may happen but getting to your ultimate goal is a path that no one else can take. As I start my first entry into this diary, my heart does hurt. When you are drawn to your passions and can not reach out and obtain them, feelings of being lost are there. :boggled: Well anyway, let me introduce my self. I am 27 years old. I graduate from college in 2000 with a BS in Biology/pre-med... and this is where my whirlwind of a story begins... Well not exactly there... Science always intrigued me. As a child I wanted an ant farm, chemistry set, or a rock collection, differetnt bugs interested me (as long as they were outside the house, etc... but when I dissected my first specimen, I fell in love with anatomy and physiology. By the time I reached High school, anything that had to do with science I wanted to do it. Especially learning how the human body worked. By Junior year I knew that I wanted to be a doctor. By the end of senior year I had a lot of offers to attend different premed programs on the east coast with scholarship. But God had a different plan for me....
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Life is what you make of it. Let no one take your dreams

Hopefully someone gets something from this diary that I am attempting to write.

I remember the day like it was yesterday. I was in my room at my typewriter doing my college applications. My mother walked into the room as told me, "If I do not apply to XYZ school, I would not receive their support financially. That through me for a loop. :boggled: Here I was getting good grades in school, schools were recruiting me, some even gave me partial scholarships to attend but my parents did not see that. I am still not sure what it was but they were being directed by a higher power. I finally got over my shock and ended up going to XYZ school. Financially it was a struggle, I am paying for it now. But the experience was phenomonal. Since I was still mad I did not do very well my first semester freshman year, I only had a 2.9 GPA :banghead: (First semester of college makes the biggest impression on your GPA) But all the things I was able to do made the school stick to me. I personally did not think this school could offer me very much, but there were more opportunities than I could imagine.

After being involved in many opportunities, it gave me the motivation to do better. By second semester and every semester on I had no less than a 3.5 GPA.

But all in all I was still naive. I knew nothing about the whole medical school process. I knew the basics. Take the MCAT, apply, do volunteer work... But I now personally believe that there is more to it. Especially for the MCAT. By the summer of my sophomore year I took the MCAT without any real direction. The score :censored: would not have given me a chance at looking at medical school I will just say that. Bu t since I took it early I was able to take it again. Not something you want to do. But to achieve purpose you do...

I haven't written in this diary like I want to. Writing is acomfort for me. That is why I started this. Anyway I will try to complete my story and get this diary the way I would like to go and hope it is a benefit to someone even if it is just me.

After bombing my first MCAT, :rolleyes: I really don't remeber what I thought or felt, I just knew that I had to do it again if I was to achieve my goal. What I have learned and I am still learning money is the midst of everything but it should not hinder what is important in life. There is always a way to get where you are suppose to be. I went through my Junior year of college and my GPA for both semesters was a 3.7. I decided that I would try a prep course for my MCAT studies... That did not work for me either. I know that I do well in class exams but standardized test are not my strong point I guess. But I am perfectionist and I want the high scores and do not want to settle for average. Now I have admit in my studies for the MCAT and throughout school, I was supporting myself. I probably neglected to mention that I am the youngest of four and all of us were in college at the same time. After my first year in school, the money from parents was skim. Car house, 4 kids in college and one parent forced to retire for medical reasons, money is scarce So I had to take on my education myself. I had scholarships and loans but that was not enough to cover my college bill so I had to work. I worked three jobs my Junior and senior year. I had to labor for 6 days a week to make ends meet. During the school year my grades did not suffer as I have stated before. But trying to study for MCAT was another story. After working all day I found it hard to concentrate on studying for the MCAt. To me the MCAT takes it different mind set than what was needed for the school year. I tried my best but to no avail that I do any better 20. Now if I had known about Osteopathic medicine I would have applied there and been done with it. But I would have not experienced my personal journey that I am going through...

Well the end of my college of experience was coming to close in 1999-2000 and I did not have alternate plans. Medical was my goal. I tried to apply very late I had to scrimp and save to get that application out. I received one interview but I did not get accepted. In my senior I was introduced to three classes that became the cornerstone( along with a visit from a school) for my decision in my that helped me make some important decisions. Human Physiology, Mammalian Anatomy and Biochemsitry. I fell in love with these three classes. Seeing the structure learning about its function and the chemical processes that make all this work together fascinated me. I could not get enough of it. The Human body became a whole new world to me.

Well it is me again. At this present moment I should be studying for the MCAT, but a break is always needed. :wave:

Well it is getting late but the house is quiet so I feel the need to blog...

As I stated earlier today I thought that medicine was not for me because of the MCAT. I have always heard that if you can't past the beast find another career choice. So I decided that maybe I should just give up on receiving my MD and just go to graduate school. But being a Temple I was not able to put medicine behind me like I wanted to. The summer I started at temple the new medical students were involved in a summer program to prepare for medical school. My lab rotation in respiratory physiology did not begin until August so I had some free time after taking some classes. During my free time I was able to sit in the Physiology and Biochemsitry classes. How ironic for me. What intrigued me the most was the professors. Each came and taught on their specific topic. To me they had some type of not arrogance but a stance that I wanted. As time went on I got closer and closer to the front of the class to observe them. :wave:

So As I was matriculating through the program there were some pitfalls that were discouraging me from remaining in the program at temple. The lab I was in was productive but there would be days or weeks in which there was nothing for me to do or nobody would come. The biggest thing going on was the Medical Physiology class that I was taking. That basically occupied my time. I am not sure when I made the decision but at some point I knew that staying at Temple was not benefiting me in anyway. Plus I was living at home with my parents and that just did not sit well with me. So instead of wasting time and money at Temple I decided to go back to where I came from, Alabama (As I am writing this I am seeing all the twist and turns in my journey). Anyway, I got the catalog of X University and in it they had a wonderful physiology program. I would be able to take classes and get my Masters in Physiology. That just seemed perfect for me, since I was taking a physiology class and physiology is one of the disciplines I wanted to go into. Well I made the trip to the school and interviewed for a research assistantship, that paid my tuition and a stipend. I was ecstatic (Little did I know what I was in for :wave:

LEt me pick my story up again. :wave:

I have not been to this site in over a month. :p I took the time to really buckle down on my MCAT studies. I am so glad that the test is finally over. Now it is back into the routine of teaching. My heart is really not into all of it. The only class I know I will enjoy is teaching Mammalian Anatomy. My biggest concern this semester is having time to do everything that I need to do. My boys are here for the school year and they do keep me busy. The middle one (14 years old) plays football. In my opinion he is the best on the team. :wave:

It has been sometime since I have visited this site. I have really fallen off with writing my diary. So much has happened in the last two to three months. The magical day of MCAT scores coming out has passed. I am pretty happy with my score. I could have done a lot better if I had actually buckled down like I was supposed to. But I think it is enough for me to get into the schools of my choice. I am really looking forward to applying to osteopathic medicine. My biggest concern is my family. The boys are doing well in school and getting adjusted to living with me. But by the time they get totally comfortable, it will be time to move and they will have to start the process all over again. I am trying not to worry about how things will workout in the end, but it is hard.
Things have not been that great at my job. Each day I get closer and closer to just quitting. It is not because of the students, but the faculty whom I work with. I guess it is good to experience hardhsips becuase you are to learn from them, but when it constant and unnecessary it becomes frustrating.
I am just babbling right now because I have a lot on mind......... :wave:

Well I have not been as diligent as I would like in writing. A lot has happened to me since my last entry. A quick update. My sweetheart and I have separated. :wave: