I am new to mommd and posting.

Today, I "stood up" for myself to another physician. This person has been repeatedly aggressive and inappropriate towards me in conference (in front of other mds)over the last year. I finally had enough this week and called a meeting between the two of us to discuss the issue. They turned it into a meeting with their office personnel and my boss without informing me they were doing so. I was treated like I was a whining little girl and told I need thicker skin, among other things. I don't think I accomplished anything. My boss thinks they will behave ever so slightly better in the future. I think they will be gunning for me even more now. Has anyone else had to deal with this ridiculous, shovenistic behavior? By the way, I'm not the only md in my group who feels this way about this conference. I thought I would feel better after the confrontation, but I think I may feel worse. At least before the meeting, my feelings were unstated if not unknown. After the md left, I had to stand there and hear how wonderful they are (smart and nice) from the office personnel who should not have been there in the first place.

What?
Are you in practice (private practice or academic) or a resident?
What kind of aggressive and inappropriate behavior did this person have?
Sure, bullying occurs in ALL areas of society, even (or especially!) in medicine. I know this.
This is concerning.
Your State Board of Registration in Medicine might want to know about inappropriate behavior on the part of a physician.

No, I'm not a resident. Yes, I am in private practice. I don't mean to imply that any sexual inuendos occurred. The person told me to know my s*** if I'm going to come to that conference. The day before this person cut me off after I had mostly completed the first sentence of an explanation they had asked me to give by saying, "No, that's not correct". They then went on to "correct" me with incorrect information. I was so shocked that this was happening that I was speechless and did not defend myself then and there... although I don't know why because this is only the latest episode. This person is always waiting for me to say even a wrong a, and or the and the jump all over me. Where I come from attendings may do this to residents/students, but not to their peers in the middle of a conference. When I told them that it was not okay to talk to me that way,they said don't come anymore then, etc. (not an option, it's a job requirement) Oh, did I forget to mention that this person is in a completely different specialty than me. But of course, they think they know more than I about my own specialty. I don't think there is anything to report. They are just an *******.

Keep lots of notes. Write down the details of your interactions. Sign and date your notes. You may need them.
Good luck.

I've faced incredible bullying over the years. faced more just this morning, in fact. the unfortunate result in my circumstance (where the people who bully get promoted) is that it has quieted me. I'm hopeful that with lots more time and more women in the field, it could change.

I have thought at times that bullying/harassment support group thru womens organizations is needed. It would offer tips/strategies. for me, this has been a part of my work pretty much since completing training and getting first job. it was associated with leaving the top academic institutions

So there are several doctors that give you a hell not one? Or one is particularly aggressive?
What I noticed is that many American doctors do not follow simple ethical standards. In Europe, Cuba, Russia, some Latin American countries it would be very inappropriate behavior if one doctor gives hard time to another in front of colleagues, nurses or students regardless of the situation.
There are several solutions - be very prepared for the conferences (really know your s***) or just quit and find another job. Life is too short to fight with a*sh**es...

It's really a shame that in our profession, the gender gap still exists (especially when you're dealing with older men). I hope the situation gets better for you soon. Maybe the doc will retire soon!

Honestly, you do sound childish, and very much like you're playing the victim. If you're simply venting that's fine but there's far more emotion and personal bias in your post than there are plain, clear facts and logical, rational explanation of specifics. If this is typical of how you communicate at work, you're simply reinforcing the stereotype you're blaming for the issues you're having.

You'd be far better off trying to analyze the situation without the personal offense, and hurt feelings. It's a pretty typical reaction if one feels chastised or bullied, to try and comfort oneself with justifications like "I know I'm not the only one who feels this way", but you really don't know. People may simply be agreeing with you so they don't have to listen to you complain, and whether or not you have a legitimate complaint, no one really wants to hear about it. If you are engaging in bitch sessions about your co-workers about other co-workers, then you are behaving very unprofessionally yourself. People will also compliment you when you if you dye your hair an awful color, it doesn't mean they actually like it, it just means they don't know what to say. It may make you feel better, but it isn't doing you any good. In any professional situation in which the balance of power is not in your favor, discussing anything negative about anyone you work with or any aspect of your job with people you work with is a bad choice.

Your arrogant and dismissive attitude regarding the office personnel is interesting.

Bottom line, if you're going to continue in your current position, you're going to have to deal with the situation. Obviously what you've been doing isn't working. Stop reacting emotionally, and think about whether this person does in fact have a legitimate reason to question you. Feeling bullied is not the same as being bullied. It is extremely unlikely that if this is something that occurs repeatedly that you are in the right every time. Unless this person has this same issue with every other woman he comes into contact with, and never has an issue with any of the males, it's highly unlikely your vagina is a factor. Sorry, it's a convenient scapegoat for a lot of women but in my experience it's generally far less warranted than said women like to hear.

If this guy is really and truly just an asshole...it doesn't change anything. You're still the one who has to live with it and now he really does know how to push your buttons. The less you react the way he expects, the less power he will have over you, figuratively at least.

If hearing this pisses you off, or if you have dismissed everything I've said because you don't like what you've read...then you've made my point.

hmmm. . . is this poster a male? doesn't seem like something a woman would say to another.

Huh. What kind of things would a woman say to another? Women should align themselves with other women based solely upon gender? Sounds rather sexist to me.

I'm happen to be female. Yes, this is a very real issue for some women. However, it is also a fall back for a lot of women. It is also a reality that many women find it far easier to fall back on cries of sexism rather than dispassionately evaluating their own responsibility for the situations they find themselves in. Unfortunately it's a behavior that undermines every woman who does deal with it legitimately.