Hello to everyone who is out there, I know there are more moms like me which is why I decided to join this forum. I am 26 years old, a wife and a mother to a 2 year old daughter. I am in school part-time and work part-time. I work at a hospital with medicare patients so I get to meet with a lot of patients bed-side which is nice. I also watch my niece with my own daughter 4 days a week for a little extra income. I volunteer 12 hours a week as a domestic violence advocate at the hospital. I take overnight shifts to just fit it in. I am just about a junior in undergrad as a Biology major. I only take two classes a semester, does that look bad to medical schools? Should I be taking more? I feel so alone in this process. Most of my husbands family don't even know what I am doing because they are kind of negative about it and I have a hard enough time convincing myself I can do this so I don't really talk about it. My husband is behind me, I think. I think the whole thing really scares him. The unknown of it all, the gamble.
Deep down I know this is what I want to do. When you are standing in an open heart surgery and you don't even want to take a break because you don't want to miss a thing,you stand there studying every nook and crany of that open chest just to learn more. You see a code and all you want to do is jump in a do the compressions your self. These are the things that remind me I want to be a doctor. When you meet with a patient and they don't understand what is going on, and the physician comes in and allows them the first deep breath in hours knowing their family member will be OK. Its times like that that you know.
What I want to know is why it is looked at so negatively. I am shocked every time I have said what I am doing at the response I get. Has anyone else had this issue? I just want to be a doctor, why is that a bad thing? When they ask my why, I can't really put it into words, when you know, you just know. Right? It is a feeling so deep within my heart and soul, unless you are on the same path, you really can't understand. Someone tell me I am not crazy for doing this.

Good Morning to all you pre-med mommies! Does anyone else ever feel guilty for not being at home with your family when you are at the library studying because its the only place you can really study? Do you guys ever feel this constant tug on your heart between going for what you want(becoming a doctor) or just being home and soley taking care of your family. Sometimes I think it seems like staying home would be easier. Ummm, yea, it would be easier. What would it feel like to get to the end of the road though, and know you never followed your dream, I can't live with that. In the end, I think I will be a better person, and better mom and wife because I am doing what I was meant to do.

So, after a lot of consideration, I will be taking off this semester. My husband is bumped up the amount of credits for this semester to finish by June, so I decieded to allow him the time to get it done without the extra stress of me being in class three days a week. Now that my classes are getting heavy and with so many lab days, I just think it is the best option for us and our daughter if one of us is consistanly here with her. After June though, I am pulling out all the stops. I have decieded to transfer to a private catolic college instead of the U of M because the class sizes I think will be much more managable for me. I really enjoyed my previous school and its small class sizes. I think, even though the U would prefer taking a student form their own college over an "outsider", I will get so much more out of the experiance at the smaller school. I do have some fears about the lack of oportunities available in research and such. I hope it is a decision that I will be happy with in the end. I also have made the decision that I am going to apply to some medical schools outside MN. I want to at least see what possabilities are going to be available to my family and I. But that is a bridge we will cross when we get there.
To anyone who is reading this, I am sorry for the ongoing boring details of my life, but it really is a gift to be able to feel I am sharing my thoughts and dreams with other moms in the same position I am in. Thank you for reading, I am sure there is going to be pleanty more where this came from.

I feel like I spend a lot of time thinking about what I will write in my personal essay for applications about what made me decide to want to persue medicine. It almost seems unfair that we put so much effort into just getting to the application process to then possibly not get accepted. I think if you have done a great job getting to that point, that should be enough. I know, dream on. But it would be really nice if it were that "easy".

Sometimes I really wish I had figured out earlier in life to take school more seriously and do what I wanted to do from the start. When I first started college after high school, I was told I really wouldn't be able to get into medical school so I sat in my classes with no direction. I didn't know what else I would want to do for the rest of my life. After my daughter was born, I realized I need to show her you can do what you dream of, and I am going to be her example of that. I just wish I had listened to my heart sooner.

If anyone out there has an answer to this question- please let me know. What I want to know is am I better off going to the private college with small classes where I think I will continue to do well OR transfer to the state school where I might not do as well because of class size but might have a better chance at medical school because I did undergrad there? Is there really a better chance if I go to undergrad at the same school as medical school? I won't be able to move to another state , so my plan needs to be strategic. There is only two medical schools in minnesota. I don't have a lot of options. Anyone out there? Help me figure this out!

Well, this time off is proving to be good. I am spending more time with my family. I am starting to learn that this may be one of the last full summers off for a really long time! I will miss my family, cooking dinners, and just loving up my family. But, the pay off will be that I would be a physician.

on another note-

I was reading over what the questions for a school interview, one was "what will you do if you don't get into medical school?" Ummm, keep applying?! I don't really want to plan another career. If I am not a physician, I wouldn't really enjoy any other job. Anyone else with me?

Well, here we go. My husband just graduated (congrats honey!) and with the next two months being my last times off for a very long time I am feeling a little scared. Now with my husband done, the spotlight is going to be on me.
As I have said before, I have some family who are not entirely on board with the idea of medical school. And as much as their attitudes will not decide my fate, I know their eyes will completely be looking at me. Waiting for me to fall, crumble, end my journey of becoming something I want more than I can even explain in words. But I know I will be the one laughing in the end.
The next couple of years are going to determine the rest of my life. I am ready. I am confidant. I am patient. Good things are coming to this woman who is not just waiting, but doing.

medicine sucks. and once you start you are so roped in with loans etc that you have to go on. I will not be done with training until I am 37 years old.... yup. that's real. If I could do it again, would I? NO! Would have done PA school - similar responsibility, less years of bs training and in the right environment same level of autonomy... make sure you really explore your options- didn't even know about PA until way to late..

Hang in there, keep working on your dream. You do have to really want it, but I think it sounds to me like you do. I also have a ridiculous amount of debt and won't be done with training until I'm 38. But, I worked really hard to get here (5 MCAT's, anyone?) and I'd still do it again in a second.

PA school has crossed my mind. But I really want to do surgery. Can you do surgery as a PA? As far as medicine "sucking", I hope I never feel that way. I Love medicine, and I want to be in this field because I would and will be fine finishing in my late 30's and paying for school forever. But, only time will tell what will happen, you never know.

Hi Jackie- yes PAs do surgery. As a PA you can go into all kinds of fields but you are never really your own boss. I saw alot of PAs not happy with their lack of autonomy which is what drove me more to the physician career. At the end of 15 years of training sometimes I wonder what life would have been like as a PA. Overall still happy as a physician even after debt and the time/personal sacrifices it took. Good luck!

Thank you! Not to knock the PA thing, but I really want to be a doctor, not their assistant. I am not going to write it off yet, but it is not calling me. I think by the time I start applying, I will know what to do!

Hi Jackie, I am a 33 year old mom with one child and seriously considering going into pre-med then onto med school. I want this as much as you do. For me it is confidence level. I love medical too. I worked for a hospital for 8 years and relate to the love for med and helping others, but I fear that fam will not be behind me either. I told my husband not to talk about my dream just because of that same fact that my fam will curb my appetite for the medical School. I can not help how I feel inside, I want this too. Yes it is a lot of school and a lot of work but, how can we deny how we feel. It is not about the money, it is not about the malpractice insurance that is sky rocketing, but about those that we get to help in the end when the look at you with a face that says thank you for saving my life. So please keep fighting the good fight and push, be the one stand up there on the stage with the degree that says you are now an MD

Hi Browpe! Thank you for writing to me! Its weird for people to think we would ever want to spend so much time working on a goal like this. But for us, we can't imagine any other way! Right?! Becoming a doctor is in your heart, it's in your soul, its who we are. Nothing anyone could ever say can remove that love. Medicine is a way of life and its a life I want to live. I applaud you and every mom on here that has taken their life into their own hands to make their dreams come true. Everyone is put here to do something, this is what we should do. I try to keep faith in that, especially when we have people around us who don't support or understand it.

On another note- I just wrapped up my bio class and is on to genetics next semester. Oh yes and more math. yay I love science. So fun! Being home with my daughter and niece is proving to be a challenge. The word that runs through my head all day is balance. What has to give a little today. Is it the laundry? is it playing in the snow with the girls? Finding the balance that allows me to do everything is never going to magically appear one day. Allowing for a little give allows for the time needed to study and time preciously spent with my baby. I have this fear now that I will only get to have one. Don't get me wrong, if I am going to just have one, than she is the best one to have had! But I always thought I would have more. I do love being a mom. But I really want to be a doctor. My daughter on some level will always need me, but not to the degree she needs me now. I want to make sure I feel fulfilled later in life too, when I don't have children to completely focus on. Does that sound bad? I just mean you have to live for yourself too, you know? Right?

Ok, now I just feel guilty for even saying that.

Hello! This is my first post so here goes...I am a mother of 4 and have been in family practice for 11 years. I had my first child in internship, second in residency and 2 more in practice. I have always felt guilty and work very hard to find a balance. You have to feel good about what you do, being a doctor and being a mom. I admit it is hard and I wish I had thought more about this before entering the career arena. It can be done, just find your balance. Some mothers work part time and this is a great option if you can do it financially. I have been fortunate to have my husband stay at home. This took pressure off but at the same time, there are moments I feel resentful he gets to have the time with the kids and I miss alot. Just remember, you cant take care of anyone else if you dont take care of yourself. Good luck! It is manageable and can be very fulfilling, both being a great doctor and a great mother.

Welcome, doctormom4!

Yes, Welcome doctormom4! It is always really nice to hear from a mom who has done this already. I hope to one day be in your shoes!

So, In the quest of becoming a new person in 2011. One who is studying harder and making every stride to be the best mom, wife and student. I have now decided to take on a marathon. I think I can do all of this, again, balance. Balance is the word for my 2011. That and Karma. My classes I think are manageable, so I think the running could fit in. Taking into consideration what doctormom4 said that "you cant take care of anyone else if you don't take care of yourself". I need to start stress relieving somehow. I think the running will help, and if nothing else cut down the pounds I put on from eating and studying, I've GOT to stop doing that!

jackie - congrats on the great goal of a marathon. I just ran an "urbanathlon" in chicago-an 11 mile run with obstacle course. It was so much fun, the best race I have ever done. I sign myself up for something new each year. This year its a 15mile run in May.

You are on your way and will be great at all you strive to be. I have had some tough days at work recently but when I reflect on the patient care part, it is so worth it. And my kids, well they are just amazing and I marvel at the young men they are becoming. Happy New Year to all!!

Hi doctormom4- Congrats to you too! I think any goal is a great goal! It is really nice to talk with a mom who has already done all this. I am blown away that you have done it with 4! I think that deserves a congrats too! Hahaha! I hope that your recent work days have been only days you can build on, one's that make you a better person and doctor in the end. I am so envious you are already a doctor and living the life I can only imagine right now. Any words of advice? Happy new years!

Inspired!!

This is my first post to this forum, and I'm encouraged! I'm late 20s, married with two children and considering Med school. I've been slightly obsessed with being a PA for the past two years, but I'm beginning to think I'd get bored assisting and observing the same surgeries hundreds of times and never being able to do it myself.

My husband is a little annoyed that I'm changing my mind too fast. There's a considerable difference in the time/financial commitment in med school vs. PA school, but in the long run, I think I'd be happier.

I joined to ask question like "is it doable?" and "am I crazy for doing this?" and then I saw so many other driven and talented moms in the same boat. I love that I'm not alone. If you all can do it, I can too.

Thank you!

DocOct, I am so happy you are joinging us here! Welcome! Yes you can do it! I think people look at us and say we ARE crazy! But your heart wants what it wants! Do it! Be proud you are so driven! And when your in doubt, come here! We will all band together and give each other support! We have to- because I think dreams like these are not always easy for some people to understand.

So, I am just starting another semester. I am taking Genetics and another math. I was looking at the genetics class lecture notes posted for my class, and am a little scared. Hopefully if I get lost my tutor can find me! Ha! Not feeling as "ready" this semester. I know it is so nice to have a long winter break, but I feel like it breaks my momentum. And its really funny, I nest. I try to get everything in perfect order before the new semester begins. So funny. Anyways, I hope I will feel more comfortable soon, there is no time to waste.
And on a really happy note, my husband just landed a much better job in sales. He is selling for a really cool company that makes 3D MRI, CAT, etc images. They are really cool. Maybe I will be using them one day!
Till next time!

Wow, its been a long time since I have written. Lots has happened. I ended up taking off this last semester, a huge mess in scheduling and financial aid. BUT, It ended up the best thing because I was back and forth to California to see my dad before he died. It was a sudden thing and I thank god I was not in school at the time because it hit me hard. The first couple times I went into the ICU at work it was a little bit much. Seeing families in the position I had just found my own self in was heart wrenching. Things happen for a reason, and it was his time to go. I hold faith in that.

On another note, my daughter will be starting preschool this fall! I will also be done watching my little niece..... tear. I will have ALL of Tuesdays to study!!!!! Really all you mommies know that rocks! I will spend my lovely Tuesdays in the library and the lab. I love it! The next best thing would be spending all my time in the OR. Speaking of that, I am shadowing two physicians from work next week. One in the OR, and one hospitalist on the night shift. I am so excited! I love shadowing. It keeps me motivated. It keeps me focused. I have so far to go, its the only thing fun to do for now.

Hello all! So I shadowed one of the hospitalists from the hospital where I work and it was a great experience! Getting the chance to see what it is really like to go into a patients room, talk with the patient and watch what the doctor does with that information. I couldn't help but ask him the annoying questions.....where did you go to school?...how many schools did you apply to?......what was medical school like? The whole shift, about 6:30 pm to 2:30 am, was a good introduction into what one could expect in a night shift. There were a couple of interesting cases. But all in all it was fun. The night went by fast.....but of course I wasn't working. It actually made me rethink my dreams of the OR. Maybe I would be more content in a hospitalist's role. The variety was nice. The pace was definitely nice. As the night went on, I found myself asking the same questions in my head that I have had on repeat forever "Why do you want to be a doctor?" and "what would make you a good doctor?"
It seems to me that these would be easy questions to answer. In no way am I questioning if I want it, but I feel like I really need to be able to answer those.
So, as I walked around that hospital in the dead of night I examined what it was that I liked. I like that you get to be the one who walks into the room, asks all the questions, examines the patient and goes on to figure out a solution, if there is one. I want to be the person in the room who studied books and information for hundreds of hours and knows the answer to the problem. I want to have the ability to fix a person. I know that that wont happen all the time. But, I know I would have the knowledge to make people better. I want the knowledge to make people heal, to give them relief.
Unfortunately this all doesn't seem to be enough or the right answer to me. Maybe the truth is that there is no right answer. Everyone has there own reasons. I guess all I need to know is that I know how much I want it. I have been researching what to expect in medical school, what I should be doing to prepare to try to get in. I have read numerous places that you really need to know more about medicine and what you want to do in it, before you even get there. Medicine seems mysterious. I wonder at what point it becomes mundane. I hope that I will always feel energized when walking into a patients room to do what I so badly will have worked to do. I just wish wanting was enough to make it happen!

So my favorite time in the hospital is 2 am. The night nurses are great, you can get things done. It sounds like you love that.

I love practicing medicine, I love what I do. I don't think think I could be happy doing anyting else. But I get fed up with the politics and the finances and legality of medicine. My patients drive me crazy sometimes (or a lot of the time). My job personally is pretty messed up as the academic center I am at, not to mention my division, is a mess. I have been a hospitalist in the past, and it is ok, but you do get burnt out as the ER does on people that don't take care of themselves. You don't get any "well patient" visits or clinic.

But don't let people that are burnt out talk you out of this. If medicine is for you, then it is for you, and nothing else will make you happy. On the other hand, and this doens't sound like you, people that want to be a "doctor" but dont understand the obligations, are not happy. It is not just a job, it will effect every aspect of your life. You are never free of these human beings that you are trying to help, despite call schedules, ball practice etc. My husband, who is also a doc, likes to say "If you don't want to work, get the hell out of medicine." And I think this is true. But for those of us who are also the moms of these precious individuals, it is double the work. Because as a doctor and a mom, you can't ever do a half-ass job for either your patients or your kids. So go for it, but don't ignore the sacrifice that it is.

And if not, I know a lot of very happy PA's that make huge impacts on many people on a daily basis, and do make their own decisions.

My best wishes and have fun!!

I am intrigued by what goes on in the human body. When I see a code or an intubated patient in the ICU, a million questions a running through my mind. I wonder ..."what is causing that? what are they giving them? what is that medication doing for them?" A million bags are hanging, each doing there own little part in keeping them alive. I think I have a special place in my heart for the sickest of patients. Not only for what is happening, but for what I wish I could do for them. I am waiting patiently through this process to be able to be a part of it all.

In the mean time........I sit here. Watching all the physicians doing what they love. Wishing I was already in their shoes. I know the sacrifices to come, I know the exhaustion to come, I know the what I have to do.