Hello,
I'm new to these forums and am seeking some advice. I am not yet a physician, but I getting ready to apply to medical school and wanted to get some advice from those of you who have been there done that. I am a mom of an 8-month-old baby boy and I currently work full-time in a non-medical related field. My dream has always been medicine and a few years ago I went back as a post-bac to finish pre-reqs, take MCATS, shadow drs etc. to get ready to apply. Then I became a mom . After 8 months with my baby boy (and working full-time since he was 2 months) it has become clear how important a flexible career is to me. I have always wanted a career in medicine, and now that it is closer than ever, I am getting scared. My ideal dream would be to work part-time at various times throughout my career whenI felt that my family needed me around more. I want to have more children, and I don't want to be perpetually exhausted trying to do too much (although, I'm realizing as a mom, perpetual exhaustion is something that just goes with the territory ). My question is, what do you guys do to achieve this balance? The post about part-time work encouraged me because I thought working as a physician part-time was few and far between. I would LOVE to do that, but I want to be realistic in my plan as well. I thought I'd ask those of you who are both moms and doctors, who know how it feels to love your family and career. I apoligize if this topic has been repeated... I know this "balance" is something that we are constantly striving for in life and there are no hard and fast answers. I just thought I'd see what you ladies had to say. Thank you!

I have yet to figure out that balance; I have a 19 month old and just finished fellowship, started working as faculty a few months ago and I am completely and totally overwhelmed, perpetually guilty, exhausted, and would LOVE to win the lottery so I could quit to be home with my daughter.

I have a 15 month old son and one on the way and I'm just finishing up my intern year. I feel like I have a good balance between my life and work. I am in a very family friendly pediatric residency, so there have been times when I have had to leave work early to pick him up and they are cool with that. But there are times when I have to find childcare last minute because I have to be at work, like getting called in for back-up. When you decide which area of medicine to go into you have to take into consideration the life style of that field. And when applying to residency look for family friendly programs. I firmly believe that you can make anything work. I think that I would still work parttime if I have all the money in the world because I love what I'm doing right now.

I am a mother to a 15 month old and work full-time (ob/gyn). It has been extremely difficult finding balance with work and family life. This is hard on me and it is very hard on my family as well. One would expect many part time opportunities for physicians, yes, but I have yet to find them (at least in my field). I share panicdocmom's sentiments to the letter: the exhaustion, stress, and guilt are not worth it. I do not mean to sound negative but since you asked for our advice, mine would be to continue with your non-medical career. If you decide you must go the medical school route, stick to specialties where the hours are a little more predictable (which is rare) and DO NOT go into a surgical field. You also have to remember that medical school and residency are only the beginning and are an incredibly demanding 7-8 years (MINIMUM), but when you are out in practice those demands are multiplied at least by the power of 10. Meanwhile, I will continue to dream about winning the lottery like panicdocmom...

There are many women in my area that work parttime, and there are many primary care practices now with no hospital work (or hospitalists who only work a few days per week in hospital)...sadly when I was in the midst of having little kids I still had call and hospital, but then switched to outpatient college health work and have found it to be a great fit!
I also was lucky to finish med school befoer getting married and think it would be really hard to have kids while in that phase of life

On finding the balance in med school, it has not been horrible to date. There are times that it, well, sucks is the best term I can find at the moment- like when my three year old had H1N1, or when she sprayed herself in the eye with perfume (i.e. ER visit instead of practicing physical exam). Or the self-inflicted weekend of birthday parties for the 5 and 7 year olds.

But I feel very blessed. My classmates who do not have children are always stressed about school, whereas I turn that piece off once I pick my children up. Do I have more baseline stress? Probably. But what mom doesn't?

I am an emergency medicine resident about to have our first baby. It's nearly impossible to decide now what field you would want to go into; most that "know" end up changing their mind during med school. Nevertheless, I do want to tout the benefits of emergency medicine. During most of my second and third year of residency, I will only be working 50-60 hours per week which is low for residencies as a whole. When I am done with residency, I plan on working about 10 days a month give or take a few days depending on shift length at the hospital I will work at (more 8 hour shifts versus fewer 12 hour shifts). My personal limit will be 3 days per week, and in EM that is almost always considered to be FULL time! Our 3rd years that are looking for jobs right now have found jobs that only require 100 hours per month to be considered full-time for benefits. The average is 120 hours per month to be full-time with some places requiring 140. Either way, it's very doable. Also... with EM, you could EASILY work just a shift per week; it's not like you have primary patients who will be upset that your office hours are limited.
Something to think about!

Hi tport. This is a good topic and worth repeating. It's good to hear other people's stories, when I was shadowing other professionals in medicine I would always look at their personal lives to see what kind of balance they had. I do think it would be incredibly hard to go through not just medical school but then internship and residency with children. I didn't have kids until the 3rd yr of my residency (which was still super hard) and then another when I was working. With baby #2 and our kids now 2 and 5 yrs old I work 75% time which amounts to 3 days per week. I'm in a non surgical mostly family friendly field which helps. If you do decide to do into medicine which is an incredibly long road from where you are- make sure you have enough friends and family to support you and your kids through the long haul. Although I have days that I wish I were a PA or even doing PT which would be less responsibility, most days I enjoy my job and make an effort to keep a good "margin" of my life for my family and myself. In the end you need to be happy!

Its definitely a good topic. I will tell you that I felt very balanced through most of medical school and anticipated the same in residency. Its not true. No matter what people say, you can't have the best of both worlds. When you are at home, you wish you were working and vice versa. Its impossible and because we are women/mothers, there is no other way.

If I had it to do again, I'd probably have waited until my kids were in school to go to medical school.