My kids were all breastfed until the 8-10 month range, when it just simply became too much with work/school/etc. I will be breastfeeding this one as well, hopefully closer to the 10 month mark.

I have to say, my kids got teeth later (6 mos), and that was another reason we stopped in the 8-10 month range. Ouch!

My seven year old came home upset because a classmate told him that the place he had chosen for his birthday party was for babies. This is not the first time I have heard of some of the cruelness that is already going on in 1st grade- I can't imagine the things children would say to a classmate who was breastfed at the age of seven.

At the end of the day, it is up to the mother and child. I would definitely wean by 12-18 months, but that is my personal choice.

Of course it's up to mom and baby (or child, as the case may be). Also, teeth aren't really a factor for a lot of people - just because they have teeth doesn't mean they bite. I know the AAP recommends at least one year, and further as long as both mom and baby desire, but I just wonder if at some point there are social/developmental/psychological consequences. Freud would certainly have a field day with this one.

I don't have kids, but a funny story about this one!

I have a good friend with four children, and all were breastfed until it was comfortable to wean them, or they weaned themselves (usually between 1-2 years). She knew the fourth was her last, however, and was having trouble weaning him. I knew this, but when I stayed a weekend at her house so she could get away with her husband she assured me that he was weaned now. She told me he typically woke up halfway through the night, at which point she'd bring him into bed with her and he'd go right back to sleep. He was three.

"Now" maybe meant for a day, because when he woke up in the middle of the night and I carried him into the room he immediately wanted to nurse. I told him no repeatedly. A three-year-old, however, has a decent amount of strength and dexterity... yeah, he got plopped over on the other side of my husband so his sneaky little hands would stop pulling at my shirt. I don't think in his half-awake stupor he even realized that I wasn't the right person... or maybe he thought all women had milk.

In hindsight it's funny... I don't know what I'll do as a mother. As a non-mother it's a little strange when a kid walks up to his mom and asks her if he can nurse, but maybe mine will do that, so I try not to judge.

My mother breastfed me until I self-weaned at 3 1/2. She weaned my brother at 4 1/2. I don't think I've been psychologically damaged by the experience... :P In fact, I think it's had little bearing on my relationship with her. We aren't very close (for reasons pertaining to events in my teens) and I've always been an exceptionally independent person. I do remember breastfeeding and remember her stroking my face as I fell asleep. I still love having my face stroked gently as a calming technique.

I intend to breastfeed for at least a year, longer if it works out that way.

My personal opinion... 3 or 4 seems reasonable. Obviously, I'm in the minority. I'm not sure there are significant benefits (health or emotional) to breastfeeding a 7y/o. At that age, verbal communication and bonding seems more developmentally appropriate. I doubt it's harmful, though.

The more I think about all of this, the more I realize that the bias against breastfeeding older children is completely cultural. Sure, prehistorically women may not have breastfed so long because it was time to move onto the next child (I'm basing this on absolutely nothing, to be completely honest!). But surely no physical harm can come from prolonged breastfeeding. So the only problem becomes one of cultural and societal expectations. Just like many people in our society are (sadly) turned off of breastfeeding in general because of the sexualization of breasts, most of us think breastfeeding older children is weird or even wrong.

Of course, just because something is cultural doesn't make it unimportant. After all, we all have to survive in the context of our society. So social ramifications are important, and I think that's really my only concern. Bottom line - it's up to mom and baby!

I'm still wrapping my head around all of this, but it's proving to be a very interesting discussion

Just came across this link in another forum, posted by mohm (thanks mohm!). Thoughts?

http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detwean.html

Interesting!

It is very interesting, but looking around her site more has disappointed me. I grabbed this quote from one of her commentaries:

" I can imagine a day when all cans of infant formula carry a series of rotating warning labels from the Surgeon General that clearly state: "Use of infant formula may be hazardous to your infant's health. Infant formula is known to be a contributing factor in many cases of infant illness and death, including cancer and Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. The use of infant formula is known to reduce children's IQ as much as lead poisoning does, and hinders the development of strong affective bonds between mother and child." I can imagine a day when parents would have to sign a release when they buy infant formula, relieving the formula company of responsibility for causing higher rates of infant morbidity and mortality. I can imagine a day when heavy taxes are levied on the sale of every can of infant formula, both to discourage its use and to help offset the enormous medical costs incurred by those who use it. I can imagine a day when insurance companies charge higher life-long premiums for health care coverage of bottle-fed children. I can imagine a day when all pregnant women are fully informed of the costs of bottle-feeding, in terms of both their own health, and their children's health."

She also explicitly compares "artificial feeding", as she calls it, to smoking!

Why is it that we can't be super supportive of breastfeeding without looking down on people who, for whatever reason, bottle-feed? It's so frustrating to me. Can't we all just get along? :P

NBP - I agree with you a thousand percent. My sister developed staph infections due to a predisposition to clogged ducts that had to be drained once already from a surgeon in her breasts. She wasn't able to breastfeed, and she cried her eyes out about this. In fact, she was even saying she could just periodically get her breasts drained by a surgeon and try to keep going with breastfeeding. I almost lost it on her. She was beating herself up so bad, and it took me a long time to get her to realize she wasn't hurting her baby. I also have a friend whose milk never came in, and for whatever reason - any artificial means to get it to come in via drugs weren't an option for her condition. Not sure of the details, but she was upset also. She also had to come to terms with not being able to breastfeed due to "judgement" from people. I think people who assume women and their breasts are going to function perfectly are unrealistic. We are not perfect and neither are all of our parts. No one should judge another woman for this. Not only that, some mothers may simply be unable to breastfeed due to jobs they hold or whatever.

And I don't really care what her data says - I still think 5-6 years of age is too much. My opinion though. I also don't agree with her immunology statement either based on what I learned in school, but that's another tirade for another day. LOL.

I completely agree. However, I also worry about some women getting the message that breastfeeding either works, or it doesn't, when it really isn't so cut and dry. For example: my brother's fiancee told me about a friend of hers who had a lot of pain in the beginning, bleeding etc., so she "just couldn't" breastfeed. Now I clearly don't know the whole story, and I don't judge this woman for stopping, but I do think that there are a lot of cases like this where, with the right support, a woman who would otherwise give up could actually go on to breastfeed successfully (and happily). But women really do need the support, from L/D, lactation consultants, pediatricians, family, etc.

Again, not saying that I disapprove of someone making the decision to stop, just that sometimes people think they can't when, if the support they needed was readily available, they could!