It's great to have so many vibrant, well spoken women on this forum.

Please introduce yourself - we'd love to meet you!

I am a general internist with a blended family of 4 kids--3 now in college. I work part-time in a group of 6 other women internists in a private, outpatient practice, which I love. The only downside is that we sacrifice income for control of our practice and lives...but it has been well worth it so far!

Nice to find this site. I am a General Internist in Texas. I have a "yours, mine and our" family with seven children/young adults. I also have 2 grandchildren. I work with 3 other physicians in a hospital owned office. It would have been nice to have a support system as I was going through medical school as a single mom of 3. If I can help anyone just let me know or ask questions.
Thanks,
Kim

I've a 10 months old son. Entered Med sch 4 months back and just had our summative exam this afternoon! well, my batchmates they had done revision like 10 cycles before the exam while I just did my revision once and could't finsih! I wonder how the other single mother-medical student managed to find time for studies. and my batchmates they found out i'm single mother. since then, no one is really close to me. even with facebook, no one would tag me nor send me a msg and just nothing. Besides they are 2 or 3 years younger than me. I wonder how to be part of them again.

myAntidote - I'm not included in a lot of the "girls" outings, because I am married. There are only three of us married females in my class, and the other girl is also excluded and the third lives 1.5 hours away, so naturally she is excluded, but she is also mom to three and doesn't care. The other girl and I have talked about it before, and we really do think it is because we are married. As archaic as this sounds, you may not even want to be included in some things, because your interests may be different. I have sought out friendships with some of the other girls who are a bit quieter or enjoy other things than the mass "girl" events that are planned, and that has been very fulfilling. I also became very good friends with a girl in another year at school, and she and I do a lot of fun things together - and despite she being single - has no bias against me for being married nor expecting as I am now.

The right girls/friends are still there for you. I know you are a single mom, but I feel we face similar bias from being simply different than the average single girl in medical school who is ~22 to 24 or so. Try to meet some people in other years as I did maybe? Or seek out the very quiet girls in class, because I found they are really sweet gems of people that were simply brushed aside by the girls that plan most of the events. The right people that will make you feel less lonely I know are there, but it may take some looking to find them.

You sound like you attend a foreign school, so I don't understand all your terms, but I hope my advice helps. Best of luck!

Hello, I'm interested in mentoring here, empty nested tax attorney from medical family (brother, sister, dad & husband MDs), and I have raised 4 children to highly successful young adulthood (none in medicine so far, one left in college)--far and away my greatest accomplishment and privilege. Time for me to give back all I know about getting through this stressful life. I am probably best at parenting, second best at teaching (I teach CME on risk, stress, taxes, practice management) financial, career and business advising, and know a LOT about medical specialists because I work for and with them, teaching and experiencing the impact of the work environment and financial pressure on families. Nothing like a little first hand experience, is there?

With my last one in college, and having heard the riff so many times about sacrificing income for family, there are things that can be done that I would say 99% of physician groups don't know about. I am guessing that, depending on what your spouse? does, tax is your biggest ticket budget item, and will be soon for these younger doctors. On my bandwagon, I know, but women doctors work so hard, they shouldn't have to give up "income" and should keep a LOT more of what they earn. Your group is a good size to find the losses and stop some bleeding. PM me for ideas, if you like, and kudos for giving back here.

Hello MomMDs! I have lurked for years and years, turning to this site for advice at each stage of the game. I feel like I have finally arrived. I am 33, have two kids aged 5 and 2.5, been married for 9 years to a surgeon (saw him all the way through from med school, residency and fellowship). I finished EM residency and am working extremely part time at the moment, enjoying time with the kids and trying to feel balanced again. EM is so perfect for working part time and keeping flexible-- as long as I don't have to be the major breadwinner. I've said since med school that a full time EM career can be really tough and difficult to sustain over the years. I plan to add shifts in a few months because I do like to go to work and it really keeps me sane (as long as I don't do it too much!).

Hello, so glad to have found this site! Hearing everyone's stories is helping me as I am at a crossroads at this point. Have been married for 2 years and now wanting to start a family but still in residency (ENT surgery) and considering a fellowship too. Not sure how to make it all work, especially with a surgical subspecialty. Both my husband and I had SAHMs, so we have high expectations for how involved we should be in our kids lives, he doesn't even want to have a nanny at all. I would love to hear how others handled pregnancy in residency, and especially from any of you out there in a surgical field since I know a lot of Peds and OB programs have moved towards being more family friendly, still not quite happening in the more "boys club" specialties. Thanks!

Hello there;
I am a foreign medical graduate who just 2 weeks ago applied for USMLE 1. I am marry to IM hospitalist and we have a 5 y.o girl. I am looking for suggestions on how to go through all the process and specially for encouragement to continue. Thank you. A

I am a mom to two boys, aged 10 and 13, and I have been married for 18 years. I am also a pediatrician. I have worked hard to find balance in my life. Do I "have it all?" Sometimes I feel like I do, other times I feel like there is no such thing. I practice half time right now. I am also a Cub Scout Den leader, for the fifth year now! I have enjoyed so much the support that this site offers. I also have loved hearing other women's stories and concerns and offering help and perspective (hopefully!) to others. Keep up the good work, Mommd!

Greetings! I am new to mommd, but happy to find it! I am a 2nd year medical student at a DO school in Florida and am recently pregnant. At 29, I didn't feel like I could afford to wait till I was done with residency, so my husband and I decided to start our family now.

I am planning to go into Emergency Medicine. I had already fallen in love with it before I realized how relatively convenient it can be for a mom, allowing for part-time work. Hopefully, I'll be able to work fewer hours while my children are young and spend more time with them.

Hello all! I have been lurking for quite some time, and am finally ready to 'come out' :-) I am 24, no kids, single but in a serious relationship that is about to become long-distance again. I have been accepted to medical school for the class of 2015, can't wait to get started! I am currently working full-time on a multi-site international study, assisting the leadership team with documentation and miscellaneous operations.

I have always wanted to have children, since I was one myself, and I have also wanted to have the kind of career that is my identity. Possible? It was for my dad, so why not for me. As my profile name suggests, one of my main goals is to maintain joie de vivre while I pursue what I am sure is a challenging path.

Howdy ladies! I am new to this forum, but really like what I see so far. What a great resource and place of support for what I believe are two of the toughest jobs in the world: being a mom and being a doc!
I am a first year neonatal-perinatal medicine fellow. I am married to the love of my life that I met when we were in med school. He's now an ER attending. Our first baby will be 8 months old tomorrow. It's been a wild ride over the last year, but I wouldn't change a single moment of it!

Hi! I'm a pre-med student in Iowa. This site is great. I absolutely love the idea of having women connect to build up, help, and strengthen eachother in medicine or any other field for that matter


Aahhh It makes me feel better about the path God chose for me DIFFICULT! But at least it's humane and all about caring.

Hi Ladies

I'm alone in the US, family all abroad, and I'm divorced with a seven-year-old.

I took a leave of absence in March 2011 from my M1 year, but because I live it and love it I'm going back in a week and a half to retake M1 year.

I have an awesome faculty advisor, but I guess I need some mentors from this incredible bunch of gals...(I've lurked for years, but now I need to make some connections!!)

If any of you have time and stamina to mentor me through what's going to be the toughest year of my life, this is the time to speak up. I have nothing but respect for every woman on this board, and I really need me some role models!

Thanks, and best wishes,

OMSMom.

Hello all! I'm a long time lurker, but first time poster. I'm a pre-med student in my senior year of college, currently going through the application process and weighing all my options! This site has already been so helpful for educating me on individuals' experiences with medicine.

Hello to all !
I am new to this forum, but have been lurking for a little while. I am a part time endocrinologist with 2 kids, one with special needs, married to an internist, living in the South- needless to say life is intensely insane. Looking forward to meeting everyone.

Hello everyone, this is my first time on this site. I Am having some doubts about Medical School. I haven't began my journey yet. I decided to go but I'm starting from just taking my pre req to eventually applying to a medical school. I just turned 29 and I changed majors. I also have a child and I'm conflicted with my decision. I want to believe I can do this . I'm battling with being a mom and a Potentially becoming a physician.

Wow I admire that. It sounds like hard work. How did you manage motherhood and medical school. I'm new to this site also.

Hi there! i am currently a part time ospitalist raising 2 young kids. Just browsing to see what other oppurtunities exist for a mom with young children, ready to resume her career.

HI this is my first day on MomMd.
I practiced ER med for about 20yrs before discovering I had contracted HEP C somewhere along the way. I was a tx- nonresponder and due to a great disability program and due to ER fatigue decided to take a few years off to raise my son as a single mom. Also studied integrative medicine for 2yrs at program in DC.
Now that son is in college I find myself wanting to return to medicine (not ER) but have been away too long to return without some type of re-entry or retraining program. Hoping to find some advice or feed back. Thanks so much, SGI-Val

I am a pediatrician with 30 years of practice. I am experiencing burnout and I am looking for help or mentoring. I was a member of a large physician multi-specialty group that was physician owned and run. 10 years ago this group merged with a hospital to create a large comprehensive system. Now physicians are simply employees, and I feel I am not treated with any respect. An example is as follows: my junior level administrator felt that a nurse needed my newly installed office computer more than I did, and gave it to her, placing an older model in my office with a smaller screen, a dirty keyboard, and inappropriate settings for my needs, without asking me. I had an office desk set from my previous practice before the merger, but it was too large for the very small office I was moved to. I agreed to share my office with another physician as well as to let it be set up for nurses to use to triage patients when I was busy in exam rooms. When I took the large desk set out, I was given a left over credenza for a desk and mismatched bookshelves for my office. I have been in this community for 28 years, and my life is established here. I have been required to sign a non-compete clause, and I cannot quit this job and remain in my community. I feel enslaved by this situation.

I am well liked by patients, and I currently work in an urgent care setting with walk-in patients. I am well paid, but this does not compensate for the total lack of respect I feel I receive from administration. I have been told by many physicians in our community that I am perceived by them as one of the best pediatricians in my community, so I know my problems are not caused by poor clinical performance on my part.

These issues have resulted in me being irritable at work, and perceived by nursing as difficult to work with. This was not always the case. In my former practice, I was well liked by my nurses and they looked to me to help solve any problems they had with other physicians, co-workers, and patients.

I currently feel very isolated. I don't have a mentor or advocate. I spent 20 years in a busy full time practice (60+ hours a week, call every 4th night, including critical care, accepting patient transports, etc. with no support for night time phone calls). Call nights were usually sleepless, and we were expected to show up for a full, "triple booked" office day whether or not you slept. My husband did not work outside the home but was not really a "home maker". When I got home from work, the house, laundry, children and dishes were still my responsibility. I know I was a fool, and he does much better now. My partners were all male, and any attempt I made to get our practice more organized, disciplined was met with resistance. I was exhausted, and my children suffered. When my 13 year old son was hospitalized for a suicide attempt from depression, my partners on rounds asked who this was on our list, and when I explained that it was my son, the response I got was "Oh". No one expressed sympathy, or suggested I take the day off to be with my family. I think this was due to the fact that they were all as stressed as I was, and were unable to be empathetic.

Not long after that I had a forced extended leave of absence due to my depression and irritability. This occurred at the time our practice merged with the hospital. I was not given any disability pay. I was given a meager monthly stipend that I had to completely pay back when I returned to work. During that time I had to pay my taxes with my VISA card!!!

When I returned to work, I accepted a position doing Pediatric Urgent care with no call. This schedule has been much easier, but I am the only pediatrician doing this. I find the medical side of this to be very unchallenging (tedious and boring). I am sick of coughs and runny noses and parents who think an antibiotic is the answer to everything and expect instant gratification. I work every weekend, and have no flexibility in my schedule. I have repeatedly asked administration to discuss the development of a fully staffed pediatric acute care, and have not received any interest on their part. I feel that they perceive this position as a place to put me until I retire. My current situation is not fulfilling, and I am sad that this is how I am ending my career.

@kinderdoc - oh, how frustrating! I'm sorry to hear about what's been going on. I'm sure if there were any easy answers you would have seized on them by now, but I wonder... what do the other MDs in the practice overall say about how things are going, how they feel about it? Noone wants totally demoralized docs working for them - perhaps if there could be a group of doctors making specific recommendations for improving workplace function/morale...?

The noncompete clause is definitely a tough one. I do know also that sometimes people are let out of this if it is a mutually agreed upon leave taking - but it's a huge step to bring this up, and one you wouldn't want to go anywhere near at this point, I presume.

And... err... welcome to mommd! I'm sorry it's under such circumstances!

I’m not a physician, so hopefully this is not inappropriate to participate in this forum. I am a married mother of three. I earned my MHA from Trinity University, and I have 13 years of business and research administration experience. I have a phenomenal idea for a unique pediatric practice. I have never really considered an entrepreneurial venture, but I thought of a great business model for a practice. Although I would be open to working with either gender, I think a female physician would have more of an immediate buy-in to my idea. This model would be ideal for a physician who is interested in opening her/his own practice but does not want to deal with the hassle of starting a practice by her/his self and does not want to hassle with the administrative burdens inherent in running a practice. I’m looking for a true business partner who would be willing to develop and grow a practice from soup to nuts in the next four to six. Getting things started on the right foot would be my top priority, so I would eventually like to retain a business attorney to draw up a contract, etc. One of the initial challenges, naturally, will be to secure funding for start-up costs. Please contact me on this forum if you’re interested in hearing more or if you know of someone who might be interested.

Hi,
I'm a family doctor who has been practicing clinical medicine for 24 years. I have three children and just saw the last off to college. I have worked part time since my oldest was born and always thought I would increase my hours when I had an empty nest. That day is here and I have to admit that I need a change. My husband is a gastroenterologist so my income has always been much less than his. I feel like I'm at a crossroads, stay as things are and supplement with something else or give it up all together and try something new. I have never felt so confused!

Hi all,
I'm an internist practising in a rural area on a 3-yr contract. Just completed residency 1.5 yrs ago, so all this is pretty new to me. As I've seen on many posts here, real-world practice is very different from medicine in residency and I am quite disillusioned by it. Makes me wonder why I wanted to be a doctor all these years, and was I blind to how stressful and exhausting it is. I try to remember how much worse it was during training, and appreciate the blessings I have now, but there are still days when I want to scream and quit. I end up coming home and venting on my poor hubby instead. I am glad I found this site though cos it helps to know others are going through the same thing. Hopefully I stay sane a few more years at least. Wouldn't want all those expensive years of education to go waste!

Hello, I am an emergency medicine physician with 12 years in the trenches. I practice in an inner city setting with residents, whom i enjoy. Starting to look forward to see what else i could do, non clinically as i age and those night shifts start to take their toll. In emergency medicine there really isn't anyone that serves as a role model for "aging" female er docs. Hoping to meet some! Thanks!

Hi - I am a 25 year-old incoming M1 who will start classes end of July. My husband and I are expecting our first child any day now - I'm due in a few days. So, I will be starting school with a 3 month old. Both of our families live within a couple hours away and my husband has been very supportive of my decision to pursue medicine. I decided against deferring a year because I feel it will be difficult with or without a baby no matter when I start and I am excited to get the ball rolling.

I'm hoping to meet some women who have been there, done that. I know I will have very different interests than my fellow students and may not be the coolest M1 when I go breast feed my baby on lunch breaks. I'd love to meet young and old mom/doctors who have made it work in medical school and beyond and get your tips. I look forward to feedback that will help me keep realistic expectations of what is possible for my career.

Thanks!

Well, I stumbled across this website and I am intrigued! I've been thinking about the road to becoming an anesthesiologist and I feel overwhelmed and wonder if I am crazy! I have had a number of set backs in my life and I am only a high school graduate with a few college credits. I am 25 and the mother of a 13 month old. I've been a stay at home mom for the last year and it's been wonderful raising my daughter but I have this desire to succeed at something for myself. Am i crazy to take on something of this magnitude?????

I don't think I saw this thread previously in the few weeks since I joined. I don't recall which thread I introduced myself in!

kinderdoc - I know your post was from November, but I am so sorry to hear about your situation and hope that you are feeling more at peace and/or have found ways to improve the situation.

mariesp1: There's nothing crazy about having goals; it's also ok to change one's goals as one gains additional life experiences. It sounds like you'll have a number of years to consider your ideas while you finish college. Major in something that excites/interests you in and of itself. You don't have to be a "premed" major to go to medical school. I went to med school after computer science. If you love biology or chemistry, or literature, etc, go for it, and just take the premed requirements also. Then you can see what you think in a couple years.

Is male welcome here? Hope it does..