Hello everyone,
Tonight while at dinner with my boyfriend (who is also premed, taking MCATs on Tuesday) the topic once again came up over whether or not it is possible for me to go to medical school as a single mom. He strongly believes I can (he is obviously biased because he thinks the world of me, like any good boyfriend should ), but my encounters with others, including some female physicians have led me to believe otherwise. So I decided to spend my night doing what any other distraught person does in 2010, and turned to the internet for direction. The first hour proved to be residents and one psychoanalyst saying that without a doubt it is impossible and single mothers should just give up and not waste their money or the school's time. Depressing...
Here's a little bit about myself and hopefully someone can identify and give me some confirmation, even if it's bad news, to set my mind at ease or to get me started on a back up plan. I'm 25 years old, I currently have a 3.87 GPA, attend UCSD and work for the junior college that I transferred from as an O-chem student instructor. Last year after my divorce I worked 3 jobs(managed an apartment complex, did the student teaching and worked... well volunteered so not a real job, at a local hospital)... and I took a full time course load. This summer I decided to move back home with my father instead of taking the on campus housing offered to me, and quit my job so that I can focus on school full time and save money. My daughter just turned 4, she is with her father for 2-3 days a week (who is unemployed and slowly loosing interest in being a parent... which is why I am starting to worry more about my long term goals and exactly how feasable they may be). I'm looking to apply for medical school next year after receiving my BS in Bio with a minor in Soc.
I feel as though if I stay living with my father, my chances at success, while not gauranteed, are about as good as they come. However, UCSD medical school is not exactly a cake walk to get into, and I don't know how many years of my life I would be willing to put off in order to stay living at home while I pursue a Masters and try to apply again. (Another piece about me, I tend to be long winded... obviously by this post if anyone is still reading at this point )
So I guess my post is multi-fold. 1. Is it possible to go through medical school, and residency, as a single mom if I have my father to help and no bills to pay (other than loans)? 2. Is it possible without my father if I have to go away to school? and 3. What is the best way that I can make myself an attractive applicant to a certain school because they're the best school for me to succeed in (not to mention that if my ex husband does stay around, I don't want to rip him out of my daughter's life, and take her away from our entire support system). I hate to say it, but I'm sure I'm not the only one who finds stability for my daughter to be more important than me being a doctor at this stage in my life.
Thank you in advance to anyone with any words of wisdom for me. I am already so thankful to have found this site, especially tonight sitting alone in my room feeling sorry for myself and second guessing all of my decisions. Everything feels so right in my life for the first time and I'd hate to think that in the end it won't work out... thank you.

Hey lady, given how much you love your daughter, and how much you love yourself as well, and your track record so far - i think you can do this!

During the summer of my 3rd bio/premed year, I met a woman with a baby, she was in 1st year medical school, had put off the second semester of that first year to deliver and take care of her newborn, her husband was in law school and wasnt enough of a help and her parents sometimes took the baby for a few hours so she can study.... when you looked in that woman's eyes, you could see that she was almost in a frenzy.

Back to you, you are different. Your grades are decent despite the relative instability in your life and the number of things/jobs you can do is awe inspiring, the decisions you have made so far are very mature and grounded (like moving with dad)... You are doubting yourself though you have no concrete reason to.

.. take it easy, and take it one day at a time. Live well, focus on your work/study, your daughter.. love your father for being around.. and appreciate your boyfriend, he is right about you. That's another thing about men, when they are not busy acting like children, they are usually right about their women .

Your girl is 4, she will be in school coming home to grandpa, while mama is around- goes to school too and studies with her.. sounds like a pretty stable loving family with a great role-model: mom.

I agree that stability for your daughter is more important than you going to medical school right now. I wouldn't move her away from her father and grandfather to grow up with a mom working 60-80 hours a week and living off student loans and then a resident salary. Even if you can figure out a way to make it logistically possible, it's still not fair.
It does sound like you have a great situation in your hometown though. My fingers are crossed for you getting into UCSD. You sound like a great applicant!

ataylor

I really think you sound responsible and have the ability to make this long hard journey.

Like annie501 said your stability for your daugher is the most important thing. Do everything you can to get into UCSD.

I am in a similar situation, I have 2 Med schools that are local and are the only ones I will be applying for... I have two children 7, and 11. I will not be able to do it with out my support system. I want my children to grow up and have a positive view of there childhood. I dont think they would if I was never around.

The new word I have learned to live by is TENACITY! Without it you have nothing.