DH (married for 4 years) just finished his first semster of med school. It was a little stressful on our marriage at times, but we really rallied and have actually come out stronger with much better communication.

The plan is for me to start medical school at the same school in Fall of 2012, so he'll be two years ahead of me. I've already been accepted and have deferred. Because we're both older (he's 31 and I'm 27) we'd like to try for a baby before my 1M and possibly a second between my 1M and 2M or 4M. I'd like to avoid having a newborn during internship if possible.

My family lives 10-15 minutes away and are completely supportive and willing to help with childcare/finances etc. and I feel like I should take advantage of that. Because I've been working for his first year he's only had to get loans for tuition (~30K bc of some scholarships), but I'm terrified about the finances and logistics of it all. One possible option is for DH to take a year off to work so we can save uo some more(he has an advanced degree and was making ~85K before school) but he really doesn't want to do that.

Part of me thinks that maybe I should just work until he finishes, but the truth is that I've always wanted to be a doctor, was planning on going before we got married, and I worry that if I wait I won't end up going back. My family and DH say that yes it will be lean for a few years but 10 years from now everything will seem worth it. What do you women who have BTDT think? Advice, encouragement and reality checks greatly appreciated.

I haven't started medical school yet, but I've BTDT in the sense that dh and I had a baby in undergrad.

Your biggest expense will be childcare.

When you say that your family will help out, does that mean they'll be watching your baby full-time for free while you're working? or that they'll babysit on the weekends? Those are two very different things and will have a huge impact on what you can afford to do.

That being said, I would probably go with the plan you have.. if you need to take out more loans then so be it. If you guys end up being a two physician family then you can afford to pay them back (I don't take loans lightly, but at the same time, I think it's worth it to take on extra loans to have kids, especially since you're approaching 30). I agree with you that if you end up deferring until your dh is out of medical school, there is a good chance you won't end up going. Your first year of medical school would coincide with his intern year.. you'll both be busy, you'll want the support that he had his first year but he'll be unavailable. I guess if you have tons of family help it would be ok, but I wouldn't defer that long.

It's great that your dh is willing to take a year off to work. That could be a viable option as well, but again it just depends on your childcare situation. When dh and I were both going to school, he worked a job at night and on the weekends..we took on loans above the cost of school to get by. It sucks that we had to do it, but it is what it is!

Thanks for your insights. Yes, I figure that our biggest expense will be childcare, and we haven't quite figured that out yet. My mom is semi-retired, so she could definitely do at least two days per week, and my sisters would be available evenings and weekends but otherwise we would have to find a daycare or cobble something together. But I suppose that people have made things work in worse situations than ours!

One idea that we've had is that since we own our house, we could potentially rent out our basement in exchange for emergency/odd hour childcare. Has anyone had experience with this? How did it work out?

At some schools, you can do year one over 2 years so you'll be more flexible since you have half the load (but it will take more time to finish). Also, at my school, lectures are video streamed so you only need to come to campus for small group/labs/required stuff. You would need child care during those times. Some schools have a daycare on site so that may be an option for you. Try to save as much money as you can now while you are working!

I think it sounds totally doable. My husband and I were in the same med school class, had baby #1 during third year and baby #2 during 4th year. Childcare was a huge deal, and having my family nearby to help with nights/ mornings/ weekends was absolutely necessary. The first 2 years of med school tend to be flexible (you should have lots of insight into that through your hubby) and you will have time to get a routine established.

Residentmom: How are you and your husband coping with the debt burden of having had kids while in med school (I assume that you had to take out extra loans)?

Right now I think I'm interested in family practice, so I know that there are a lot of programs out there that will do loan repayment for FPs to work in underserved areas, but I'm still a little nervous about it.

It is great that you have extra room. That opens up all sorts of options, like an au pair or a live-in nanny, too. I guess it all depends on how much childcare your family will do and how much you will have to pay for.

Beware the extending 1 year over 2--some schools only make you pay per credit....some make you pay full tuition for both years. Be sure to check first!

I had 2 kids in med school. It is doable, esp since you're already 27 (I was 27 when I started). IMHO, your hubs should take out full loans now so you guys can have a nest egg available for daycare and childcare expenses. You'd be surprised at how quickly the money is drained, esp if you were used to an 85K/yr lifestyle.

My husband is luckily way too smart for a normal person, and had a full scholarship including stipend during medical school. He did end up taking out supplemental loans to help pay for our childcare (as did I). We were able to get our annual cost estimate increased by showing how much daycare cost us. I am an FP and he is an anesthesiologist. His small loan is almost paid off (7 years from med school) and mine are... definitely still there. I know they'll be paid off eventually, and since we consolidated when rates were REALLY low, they are actually costing me less interest than my money can earn in other places, so we are not in a rush to pay them off early. If you are certain you will do primary care, you should look into primary care loans, which can have a lower fixed interest rate as long as you continue to practice in primary care. Also think about rural medicine, where you can get loan repayment as part of your salary package (often both federal and state assistance). Life goes on, so you need to think about whether you will regret having or not having kids when you had the chance...

Thanks for this info residentmom. I am certain about FP (I'll be the 5th straight FP in my family and taking over our practice) and we will be living in what's considered a "medically underserved" rural area after school (which is where we're from) so it sounds like this could definitely work!