Well hello everyone! My name is Toot (at least that's what my name is on here, haha!) and I'm right now in the beginning stages of applying to medical school.

I'm 32 years old, single, no kids and I decided to take the plunge. I had always planned on going into medicine and applied right after undergrad (10 years ago) and was waitlisted. I went on to graduate school and started working in pharmaceuticals. I enjoyed it, but it was clear that in order to move up, I would 1) need another degree and 2)be out of the lab. I really like the hands on work so neither option appealed to me. Also, the pharmaceutical industry is really unstable.

I had gone to visit a premed advisor a few years ago to discuss applying to med school. She advised against it because I already have some loans out and my undergrad GPA was not super competitive. I decided to take her advice and started taking classes in another area. I actually did quite well in those courses and one of my teachers offered to write a LOR for me if I decided to go back to school. That was super encouraging.

But the medicine thing was still bugging me. I started volunteering and shadowing and I loved it. After another tiresome conversation about med school one of my friends just told me "why don't you just apply and see what happens."

That usually isn't the type of approach that I like to take, but when she said it, it really just seemed like the right thing to do. Then I got laid off (we all got laid off, at my job that is) and I finally felt like I could really devote my time and energy to applying and studying for the MCAT.

I've already submitted my AMCAS and have started receiving my secondary applications. I'm scheduled to take the MCAT in August and am kind of excited. We'll see what happens!

WHOO! I took my MCATS yesterday and they were BRUTAL!! Wow! I really am praying for a good score, but I have to say that the prep course really helped. Before I took the exam, I was scoring >30 consistently so I'm hoping that the trend continued to the test. My dream score is a 38 but I'd settle for a 36 No, but seriously, I would be HORRIBLY disappointed if I got below a 30. I'm claiming good scores for myself (I'm kind of spiritual )

What kind of shook me though is that I ended up running out of time on the bio section! I totally didnt expect to do that, but it made sense because I was spending WAY too much time on one question. I think I kind of zoned out. But I did end up answering all of the questions, but I had to guess on a couple. I hate having to guess.

Surprisingly enough, I had plenty of time left over in the verbal section, but then, I always perform well in that section. I improved considerably in the physical science section: my diagnostic went from a 5 to a consistent 10. I would be happy with a 10 or 11 in that section. Thankfully, I also got some doable prompts for the Writing section. Man, prayer works BUT, it is hard for me not to sit here and start second guessing myself on some of my answer choices. I told myself that I would give myself at least two weeks to kind of forget the questions on that stupid test, and then I would pick up my books again and start studying, just in case I need to retake my MCATs in January and reapply to med school.

I told myself that I would not beat myself up about my performance because I did prepare fairly well. I studied my butt off and drilled like crazy. I realized through this ordeal that I'm actually really intelligent! It sounds stupid, but people have always told me that they thought I was uncommonly smart, but now I actually believe that they may be on to something! :-p It kind of felt good to be studying so hard, though I'm glad that it's over :-D. I really hope that I get a great score, but I've been learning lately how to deal with disappointment. If I don't get the score that I want, and I don't get into medical school, I will try again one more time. I'm PRAYING that I get this job that I was referred to because they pay for courses (at an Ivy school) and it would be a great opportunity to raise my GPA a tad.

Im sitting here on my couch watching "Sherlocke Holmes" on an endless loop. And I have a pounding headache. But I'm not complaining. Definitely not complaining.

So, I didn't get that job with all the Ivy class benefits- basically they were taking hideously long to schedule an interview- BUT I did get a job!! It's actually a really good situation because the pay is EXCELLENT and I can save up some cash (and pay off my credit cards ) and there's an opportunity to do some research. The timing of it is awesome! I had really prayed about it and I wrote on my calendar that I needed a job this September and sure enough, I got a job! This is a really good season for me.

Also, I got my MCAT scores yesterday. Really, it was tough waiting on those scores man. I started thinking about the questions again and wondering about my answers, but I will say that I resisted the urge to look up the topics. I was not EVEN about to do that!

Anyway, my scores were good. Not excellent, but good enough that I was EXTREMELY happy about them So my breakdown was:

PS-09 VR-11 BS-11 WS-Q 31Q

That is like a 10 point improvement from my last test! I scored the same in PS but I scored 7 points higher in BS!!!! Wow! Also, I'm so happy about my writing score, because I was a bit inconsistent in that area during the course. Not to mention that I scored an L the last time I took the exam. I wish that I had scored double digits in PS, but you know, I'm overall satisfied. I feel pretty good about my prospects now.

The best part about this is how happy my family is about all of these things. When good things happen for you, it's sometimes shocking to see just how happy people are for you. My family has been going through a really rough period and they are feeling like my good fortune this week is reason to celebrate. My aunt texted me from overseas yesterday morning to give her well wishes for a good score. That really meant a lot. And my nieces and nephews screamed when my sister told them that I got a job! It feels good to have people celebrate my good news as their own.

I haven't posted in a while because I have been insanely busy. My new job is pretty intense at times and I may be over extending myself in other areas. Then I had a little health scare, but I've got it under control.

I've taken some people's advice and decided to apply to a local post-bacc program for career changers-just in case. But the good news is that I've been invited for three interviews so far!!! I'm pretty excited :-D I feel pretty good about it. One of the schools was such a long shot that I practically cursed out loud at work when I read the email!

I'm feeling pretty blessed about the whole thing. I'm hoping that I get in somewhere. I'm starting to do practice interviews on my own. If any one has any advice on interviewing, I would really welcome it. PM me PLEASE! lol!

I had my first interview last week and it went well, I think. I absolutely LOVED the school! The faculty were great, great students, great admin...this is my long shot school, and if I get accepted I think I might blow up. I'm feeling good and relieved that I got the first interview out of the way. In the meantime, I'm still keeping busy doing research and such.

My little sister is finishing up grad school and she's moving home (cool!) but my mom is not into animals, so my sister is dropping her cat with me :-p It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't allergic. And this thread really needs a better emotican selection.

Anyway, I'm really excited that I'm moving forward, but I sometimes wonder if I shouldn't be putting more energy and effort into a social life. I haven't dated in years, and though I'm still not sure if I want to marry, I'd like to date. I'm so freakin akward though when it comes to guys and it really is a damn shame considering I'm in my 30's :-p.

Whatever...

Ulch. I am trying to invite some calm into my life because I keep rehashing my interview at LSS (long-shot school) and wondering if I said the write things. I'm trying not to feel to vested in the school, lest I get rejected and feel HORRIBLY disappointed. I've done that to myself before. It's been enough a struggle to keep myself off of Craigslist, apartment hunting in LSS's city.

I tend to get ahead of myself.

Anyway, I'm trying to focus on the next three weeks and getting them over with. I have so much going on... it's crazy! But it's the uncertainty, not knowing if I'll get into school or where, or how much money I'll get for funding that is really stressing me out. My mind feels so cluttered. I know this is one of those times when I need to just write out my feelings, express what I want, pray about it and let it go.

Maybe I'll go that now

Well, I have another interview invite and I'm excited!!!

But that's now what I want to talk about right now. Right now, I'm thinking about food.

I went to Dunkin Donuts this morning and I had those pancake wrapped sausages (the 3 pack) and a donut and a bottle of mango orange nantucket nectar. Yummy! Anyway, after that meal, I fell into a sugar coma. I pulled into a parking lot, reclined my seat and fell asleep with my mouth wide open, haha. When I woke up, I felt tired and achy and overwhelmingly depressed!! I felt SO depressed, like I couldn't go on with life. Like I was so tired and I didn't even want to move, much less get out of the car and go to work (yeah, I passed out in the work parking lot).

But after an hour and a cup of unsweetened peppermint tea, I feel much better. I know that what I was experiencing was probably the result of a blood sugar spike and subsequent crash, but it still amazes how much power food has. That moment when I woke up, I felt like there was no way I could accomplish anything in life. There was no way I could make my body or mind work, I felt completely devoid of energy. It's really something how eating the wrong foods affects your mental state.

I guess its right on time that I decided to hire a friend of mine to whip me into shape (which she has agreed to do for 30 bucks, yeah!) I tend to eat the wrong things when I'm overwhelmed and I find myself feeling weak which makes me more stressed. I think a diet overhaul and workout plan should help

Man, no one told me how tough the WAITING would be! I've been driving myself CRAZY waiting for LSS (long shot school)'s decision, crap! It is very possible that I'll receive a decision this Thursday. I've written them a follow up letter (in addition to the thank you letter) and I'm applying for a research program that they have there. I'm hoping that they can see just how serious I am about going to that school. I'm praying for a good outcome. In either case, I will accept the outcome as the best one.

In the meantime, I'm taking a class at a local Ivy, and I can't help but feel intimidated for some reason. The class is not difficult AT ALL (at least imo), but I guess I psyched myself out about going to an Ivy League school (ooooOOOOOoooo) :-/ For the record, LSS is not Ivy League, but they do have an impressive amount of NIH funding (which attracts me).

On yet another note, I'm at work right now, an hour away from my home, because the research that I'm working on here is NOT WORKING OUT AND I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHY!!!!!!

Such is research. But seriously, what I'm doing should be relatively straight forward, but it's not working. I think I'm dealing with compounds that don't like to stay in solution when I do my assay, so when I try to detect them on the LC-MS, they don't show up :-/ God. It makes me feel so incompetent.

I got another interview invite!!!!! Woohooo!! I can't believe it!! I just called the school up and said "HEY!! Whats up with my interview invitation?? What did it get lost in the mail?! Chop, chop- get on it!"

Sike, lol! But I did call the school and they did re-review my application after I sent a short update email. I was ecstatic, man! The interview is in three weeks! So far, 4 interview invites, WAY more than I had hoped for! God is good!

AND on another note, my research at my job is going smashingly! After putting in a full 18 hour day last week to work out the kinks, it had better be, lol! I guess I should get used to those kinds of days- it reminds me of grad school

I still haven't heard back from LSS. I know some folks who interviewed after me who have heard back, but they were rejected. I'm hoping that the long wait (9 weeks so far) is a good sign. Who the hell knows, but I do know one thing: If I get in, I will party like it's 1999, because in 1999 I was 21, haha!!

Man, I'm busy like crazy, but I'm feeling good. I've started my workout regimen and the soreness feels great. I've started doing weights while I watch the biggest loser! Talk about inspiration, but I get annoyed when they get upset over a 10 pound weight loss. Like, really?! If I could get 10 pounds in month, I'd be going crazy, haha!

But back to work with me.

Sometimes I wonder what kind of struggles I will have because things are going so well. I'm generally an optimist, but shoot, I have to wonder sometimes!

So I got waitlisted at LSS! :-D I'm actually feeling pretty optimistic about it because they have decided to accept fewer people outright and accept more from the waitlist! My advisor there has been really great and he thinks I have a good chance of being accepted!! Apparently, he said that my interview really worked in my favor, that I made a wonderful impression It's crazy man. Plus, I just found that I got an extension of my contract at work. Whoosh! That definitely takes a load off.

I have another interview next week at a school that is a little further away from home than the other schools I've interviewed at. It's not a big name school, but they do produce great doctors and people who attend really seem to love it. They say it has a great family vibe. I kind of like the idea of that, and I wonder if my interview there will make me change my mind about LSS. I doubt it though, the people at LSS were all really nice. I think if the students seemed like pretentious jerks, I wouldn't want to attend, but everyone was so down to earth

Well, we'll see! I'm really looking forward to this interview!

I'm really grateful, for the way this is going. It's such a far cry from my first cycle 10 years ago. But then, I've also changed a great deal.

On a down note, I managed to gain 6 pounds in a week. Where dey do dat?? I think I need a new scale