Hrm, I've been really terrible at keeping up my blog the last few months.

I'm still interviewing for a job. The Hospitalist interview went well. I really like that group and would be happy to work with them. The only real drawback is the hours. Nights and weekends just aren't fun. And I've commented many times on my poor ability to switch back and forth from days to nights.

I had another interview with a community group this week. I really like the other docs, love the efficient friendly office and also really like the community it's in. It's a suburban practice and an area that I like. So, we'll see. I've got all my fingers and toes crossed. (haha)

I've been "pre-tending" (a pun on Attending) as the most senior resident on my service this month. The attending plans to have me carry the attending admission pager and do the billing later this week. Should be interesting! This whole month has kinda been a long job interview since I'm working with the hospitalist group that interviewed me. I have to say, I like the work. (but still worry about the night hours!)

Uh-oh. Hubby and son are home and already arguing about chores. *sigh* Why does puberty for boys mean arguing with their fathers??? That and the apparent necessity of hitting your brother on the arm every time he walks by. I swear they wrestle more now than they did as little kids! lol One of the boys is staring me in the eyes now, so strange that he was so little for so long and now he's about to be taller than me!

What is it about job interviewing that turns me into an anxiety-ridden sleepless eating machine??? It's horrible! I think I gained nearly 20lbs the year I was interviewing for med school and then waiting to start med school. I lost that weight first year of med school through a great deal of effort. Now I'm well on my way to regaining all that weight.

I wish I could just sit back and say "Hey, I've already been offered one job. I just decided not to take it. Certainly other good opportunities will come my way." And then I could just be calm and relaxed.

ha!

You'd think I'd never applied for a job, or med school or residency or anything else. I feel as anxious and insecure as I ever was. It's not that I don't get good feedback. It's not that people haven't expressed interest in hiring me. It's that the one job I'd really like to have hasn't made up their mind yet and I know I'm competing with several fellow residents and at least one established pediatrician for the job.

Wah, wah wah. I know. I should be grateful I'm not looking for a minimum wage job and trying to put food on the table for my kids.

Which reminds me. I had a patient a while back who was around 6 months old and hadn't gained weight in several months. She was thin and a little developmentally delayed. She got the full workup, lots of blood tests, nutrition consult, genetics consult for an known disorder that shouldn't have included failure to thrive and developmental delay. Well, after several days and many ways of asking it finally boiled down to... food. Mom was diluting the formula to make it last longer and practically starving herself (she's so thin we worried about HIV for the both of them!) because she was only getting $125/month in food stamps for a family of four, only 80% of the formula needs from WIC and both she and dad are out of work. Breaks my heart! Babies in America shouldn't be sufferring from lack of food!

Oh, and the CPS cases this month. These kids often wind up on the hospitalist service because they don't have pediatricians. They often come in for "failure to thrive" or some mystery injury or worse.

Some days I don't know what I want more. To be a hospitalist and help these poor little ones the best I can (which is limited in this capacity) or work in a clinic as a general pedi and see mostly healthy kids with families who feed them and take them to their appointments and worry over every runny nose and bug bite.

And also, why do kids have to grow up? I know, I know. I've been impatiently waiting for more independence from my brood. Now that they're so independent though, I find myself sad that no one wants me to bake cookies or play a game or read a story to them. They've got set building and beta testing and online gaming and "things to do." Some days I come home all excited that it's the weekend and I'm finished early at the hospital and then no one needs me at home...

Okay, I'm wallowing. But some days call for that. My patients at the hospital today made me sad. I'm stressed about the job thing. I'm stressed about my pants being too tight. I'm overly tired, as often happens on call months, and not sleeping well.

I should probably just go take a nap.

I suppose a few updates are due before I launch into the reason for my post. I know I've been way overdue and probably lost my readership by now. It's just that I haven't felt like there was anything entertaining to write about!

Let's see, my pants fit again! I just reread my last post and I'm happy to report that I started a family "biggest loser" competition with my parents, brothers and husband. While I'm certainly not winning, I'm very excited to be losing less than my family. My dad has lost over 20lbs! My mom is at a weight she hasn't seen in over a decade. My husband is talking about getting back to his "pre-kid" weight and one of my brothers is going to run a half marathon next weekend. I'm so proud and happy for everyone. The fact that I've lost 8lbs and am back to the weight I was when I started residency is a great benefit, too. I'm running regularly.

But the thing that got me to wanting to blog again is the job search. Yes. The job search.

And yes, I had a great job that I gave up in the fall because it wasn't the right location and timing for my family.

Since that time I've interviewed at 9 different places. 2 of them I visited twice! I think I need to break it down by location so that you can follow my interesting journey. Remember, I live in a large city in the southern US.

Nov/Dec
#1- The Giant Pediatric Group (GPG) In Town Locale: 2 docs both working mostly full time (4 & 4 1/2 days/week). At the start of the interview I got the "once over" from the head doc (you know, the look that says "is she prettier than me?")This was followed by repeated questions about my willingness to work evenings and weekends (Saturdays yes, evenings no) and too numerous complaints from THEM about their call, their workload, their location, etc. Oh, and I don't speak Spanish which they said wasn't a problem but clearly was when I saw the patient demographics. (Who wants a pediatrician who can't communicate with them???) Anyway, they didn't call me back. No skin off my nose! The became known as "the whiney ones" to me and my fellow residents.

#2- The Hospitalist Job. Okay, it was a bit of a fallback when I became unsure what our plans were for the next few years. Plus, I really like and respect our hospitalist service. I got pressed really hard though about my commitment to hospitalist medicine. Did get a hug at the end of the interviews, though, which is always nice. lol. I know the director well. Anywho...haven't heard back from them although they promised decision over a month ago. But that's okay, I don't really want to work nights and weekends anyway. We've been over that.

#3- Private Practice Tier 2: Nice interview. Practice owner been there for 20 years. It's her practice. Cramped office. Didn't meet one of the docs. The other one barely made eye contact. Not a good sign! I worried about practicing in "her office" with "her patients" and whether I would be asked or expected to compromise the medical care I deliver. EMR looks dicey. She offered me a job in January and I thought about it. But eventually I said no because I don't want to be someone's wage earner. Plus her offer was well below the going rate and she wanted a 3 (!) year contract.

#4- GPG Productive Suburban Locale: Loved them!!! Busy office, gorgeous, clean, roomy with well-respected practitioners. I liked them. They liked me. I went back for 2nd visit. They chose someone else. *heartbroken* They wanted someone "now" because one of the docs had left them with 2 weeks notice. Couldn't wait for a resident. Not that they told me that. I heard it through the grapevine. *grrr* Would have been an ideal set-up for me. Would have put us closer to my hudband's work as well. I'm still disappointed.

Job Hunt Continued...

Jan/Feb:
#5- Premier Private Group New Locale- 2 docs looking to add a third part time. I don't want to work part time, but this is a well-respected practice that is expanding to a new office. They said I could become fulltime once I got my patient #'s up. Okay, no prob! Also, wanted me to work fulltime in summer while one of the docs on maternity leave. No problemo! (the extent of my non-medical spanish) I know one of the docs as she was a senior resident when I was an intern. Didn't get a good impression of her because she was rather nasty to me on my first (ever) call night...as an intern...on the oncology floor...Anyway, I tried to let that pass. Her slightly condescending attitude still showed through during interview, but beggars can't be choosers, right? There were other red flags, however. The website bio's for both of them spend a paragraph each talking about their churches and their activities at the churches. Then the chief resident and assistant program director hear who I'm interviewing with (both apparently trained at my program) and told me not to join them! I've never heard either of these people gossip and both told me independantly that those 2 docs were selfish and self-centered and difficult. Hmmm... THEN, I get a phone call from one of them saying the part time job is actually just locum tenems because their financial partners won't let them hire anyone permanently yet. Okay...but I'm still game and spend the afternoon with them when they call me back for a 2nd interview. God and religion come up not once, but twice unsolicited while talking to patients. I dunno, I don't think my religious views belong in the work place. But whatever, 'cus after giving me a big hug (again with the hugging?) and saying they'll call me next week... Nothing. Good riddance? Yeah, probably.

#6 GPG Way Out Suburban Locale- Another weird interview. Lead doc is...odd. Other 2 docs are strangely quiet. GPG Area Director is present at interview. Also odd... I learn they have major staffing issues. Nurses unhappy. Docs seeing patients 'til after 6pm when last appt is at 4pm. One doc leaving suddenly (surprise, to the suburban locale I loved so much! *grrrr*). Then I find out they had to fire their office manager! And they can't find a nursing supervisor. Hmmm.... Is it just me or are there a whole lotta issues? They haven't called and I haven't heard if they've made a decision. I'm scared if they offer me the job I might have to take it!

#7- GPG Continuity Clinic- Has an opening. I've been there my entire residency. They are old and give antibiotics for colds and do CBC's for no good reason and xrays for constipation. But hey, it's a job. Only then they basically tell me they only want to hire a man. Chauvanist Pigs. End of conversation.

#8- College Town Dream Job- Interviewed recently. Evidence based medicine. They trained at my program. They are located in my college town which hubby and I have dreamed of returning to since we left 17 years ago. It's never been the right time... No weird vibes, no neurotic docs, happy nurses, great location... If they call me I will be there so fast their heads will spin! Oh god, will they call me??? I was first interview. *ahhhhhhhhhh*

#9- I have to write about this one a little later. It's hilarious! and scary! and hilarious!

...and I meant to say, and forgot, that I am being very picky. You can probably tell! But seriously, I'm 40. I've done the bottom rung crap jobs already. I've been the scut monkey. I've worked with the difficult, miserable people because I was just happy to have a job. I can't do that anymore. I'm too old!!! lol

I've decided I can't write about my last interview because I'm not totally anonymous. Suffice to say, during the course of the interview I was told one of the docs had found the cure for ADHD and Autism and they are keeping it in a large plastic bag locked in a cabinet in the office.

Yes. That is really part of what transpired.

Moving on...

I got 2 excellent job offers! One of the suburban practices and the College Town job! !!! Hubby and I are very excited about the College Town job. We've been talking about getting back there for 17 years. I can't believe I found us the way to do it! I'm thrilled. And nervous. And excited. And I have a BAD case of senioritis. Good thing I'm on Spring Break with my kids this week! lol

Oops, I forgot a few things!

I got an offer from interview #5 as well, for their locum tenems spot. And I want to clarify a little. I have no problem with docs letting their patients know that they are members of a certain church or faith. What I had concerns about was that I don't share their openness about my religious beliefs and I'm not comfortable discussing it with coworkers and patients. I also happen to feel it isn't appropriate to bring up your religious views while caring for a patient unless they have brought it up first. So I worried I would not fit in with them, or feel pressured to talk about my faith. Anyway, I didn't accept the job. It wasn't the right one for many, many reasons.

What was truly odd to me last week was that I got 3 job offers in a 24 hr period! After waiting months and months for something to come along that I could comfortably sign on with, I suddenly have 2 good offers.

College Town it is. Of course, that means relocating. That will be a saga all its own!

I was thinking I might not blog anymore after finishing residency because I feel like I've run out of Mom in Medicine kind of things to say. But being a mom trying to manage dual households (boys will move with me, hubby staying with daughter to finish Senior year here) with 3 teenagers and starting new as a pediatrician might be worth reading.

I know this is your blog, so please delete my entry after you see it, but please please keep blogging...I love reading it, as it is inspiring. I think for those of us still at the bottom of our training - it really helps to know what is on the other side. I love your stories.

Thanks for your contribution here.

Umm, please continue to blog about raising teenagers while being an attending (this is my life!) thank you for your blog, really enjoy it!!

Please keep writing.