Hello,

This is my first post!

I am 29 years old, and have two children (11yrs, and 7yrs)that I have been raising as a single mother most of 11yrs. I have always had this burning drive to go to medical school since I was a little girl breaking and then repairing my Barbie Dolls. I take parenting very seriously, and have some amazing kids.

I come from a super poor family but have managed to put myself through about 65% of my pre-med school with no debt. I have a 4.0, I am the first person in my family to attend college. I have volunteered at 2 different hospitals, and a homeless shelter. I absolutley love helping people.

I have been in a few relationships but at the first mention of attending medical school this rocks the boat and the relationship ends. I assumed that a man would love to have a strong, intelligent, driven, ambitious women. NOPE, they see it as wow you have two kids, and you want me to be apart of that and deal with the fact that you will have no time for me.

Anyhow, dating really is the least of my worries I have pretty much settled, and am happy with the thought that I will be doing this alone. I just wonder if I can do it, I want to make sure the two little humans that are completley depended on me grow-up to be outstanding adults. I also know that if I don't do this I will be that sad (bitter) lady on the porch talking about what could have been.

I have a Morgage, Car Payment Ect. Ect. so money is tight, I am currently living on Unemployeement, and going to school. Of course this will run out and I stress everyday wondering what I will do.

I do have family that live with-in 10 miles, but they tell me they are supportive but then tell me, you need to get a full time job and put school on hold. Its so confusing, because I have read/heard stories of single mothers making it and finishing medical school.

O and another plus is that two of the schools I would love to attend are with in 50 miles of my home.

I am very frugal, and really only have the basics. I have gotten the kids on government medical insurance, help with food stamps, and will be getting grants for school next semester. I do struggle with asking for assistance because as of last year I have never had to ask for any of this due to the fact that I have always had a high paying job in the Technology field and have supported the kids with no help even from there father. I know its a pride thing but I grew up poor and don't want this for my children, I also know that what I am doing and planning to go to medical school will definitely teach the kids about hard work and sacrifice. O and maybe I will be able to afford to pay for college for them and they will not struggle as much as I am at this time.

I know this is a really long first post but I really need some direction, and support. Please Help!

Financially, your relatives are correct. It is better to get a full-time job for now, especially since you have a mortgage that needs to be paid and kids that you want to send to college in the near future. Medical school is extremely expensive, it will be about a decade before you can start practice, and no one knows what physicians will be earning when that time comes.

If medical school is really important to you, then you may have to reassess the rest of your finances, such as whether you can afford to own a home or send your kids to college. Or maybe you just have to wait until they are a bit older and you are back on your feet financially.

No matter which route you choose, I'm sure your kids will learn plenty from you about hard work and sacrifice and being a good mom.

I started this process as a single Mom, and I have to agree with your family that you should get your finances in order first before attending med school. Sure many women make it through as single Moms but you have no idea what their financial circumstances are when they began the process nor the financial circumstances that get them through. You also don't want to put yourself in a situation where in addition to dealing with the normal stress of med school, you also have to deal with money problems too. Personally, that would be too much for me.

The most important part of this process is to make sure that you not only have a plan, but have a sound plan that won't leaving you discouraged should you have to ammend it in any way, which you will likely have to do as a single parent.

I have reduced most expenses since my first post and live off of very little so I can attend school full time with less worry. I have found that living on less isnt so bad.

I am hoping to be finished with my Pre Med classes by 33 years old. I am totally the oposite of a traditional student. I think if I have enough tenacity, and dedication I can do it.

I have had plenty of people tell me to put Med School off until the kids are older, and people telling me it is selfish to decide to take on such a time consuming path. I just take what they say with a grain of salt because if they truly knew that this isn't just a dream its a calling, and a passion they would understand.

I am going to just stick with it, do what my heart and brain tell me to do.

I have to agree with the above posts, about postponing the calling, not because i think u cannot do it... but because i know how demanding premed can be and med school is even more demanding...

Having to go thru it and med school, as a single mom, with just the financial support to get you thru and with 2 kids.... I think u r pushing urself too much...

Noone can put themselves in ur shoes but i think here is what i would do:
1- get a job that financially supports ur family,live frugally and save as much as possible
2- take one premed course at a time, making sure u have the time to get great scores
3- apply for medical school when ur kids are applying for school... it could be fun to all go to school together... and maybe u will be able to get financial supportif u have good grades, are a woman and have a great story like urs ...

whatever u do: dont give up on ur medical dreams... just postpone them a little...

Hello,
I have just finished the first two years of medical school in the carribean by choice due to my low gpa and my emotionally draining life (custody of my first born since he has been three years old my ex is an attorney to whom I pay child support to) I have already put aside a career where I was very successful and sacrificed it to move to a town which I could not pursue that dream any longer. My situation is way worst than any parent going to a US accredited medical school because there are no loan programs for the school that I attended therefore I had to work on a master degree online to qualify for loans that I would then use to study for medical school. That was the plan I have been out of medical school now for a year trying to make things right with my son whom is being mentally abuse by my ex husband. Its been a very depressing hard thing to deal with, without family support or friends that of course do not live where i do. I have two more years left of medical school before I start residency I currently owe 130,000.00 loans for a degree I can careless about Masters in Public Health. I want to be a doctor because I want to be a legand for both of my sons. People who did not come from a poor uneducated family its easy for them to say just wait until your kids are older. I know how it feels to not have anything. When you have the finances you can get a tutor to help your kids if you dont understand something. When your proverty stricken and uneducated your screwed. Just pray, that is what I am doing I can not give up.If I do I would not be able to teach my kids to do what you love, be your own boss and always have integrity with whatever you decide to do in life, my not being a doctor would mean I am a failure, and the cards already stacked against me won.

wow i am so moved by your post. i am also considering the Caribbean but always wondered how to pay. that is a VERY CLEVER WAY TO QUALIFY FOR THE LOANS. please pm me if you dont mind. i would like to ask a few questions about the school and th mph program. or email me at marvak1@msn.com

thx

I would not go to the Caribbean. Period. Sorry...if you have to find clever ways to qualify for loans and they include earning a degree you have no interest in while trying to do medical school - doesn't sound like a winning combination to me. Medical school is hard enough on its own without an additional academic program, and I can't imagine combining all three with children. Probably why the poster above sounds a wee bit stressed out in her post.

If you don't feel you'd make a successful application to DO or MD in the U.S. - keep working until you do. Please don't go to the Caribbean. There is very little but a huge huge gamble in store for you.

One of my friends (who's currently a 1st yr resident in a med-peds residency) went through medical school as a single mother....not by choice but following the death of her children's father. I believe the kids were 4 and 7 when she started med school, now 9 and 12. She made it work with a combination of great family support (her mother basically moved it with her when the youngest was not in school, was her after-school care for both kids), scholarship/loans to cover the educational component, and sheer grit and determination. I don't think she slept! It can be done, but I would encourage you to find as many people who are/were in your situation as you can before you make the decision to enter into the medical school application process.

Oh, and I would agree with the postings about avoiding Caribbean medical schools. The number of residency positions available in the US will be equal to the number of students graduating from US medical schools by 2014 if the government does't approve additional funding for residency programs....what this means for you is that VERY VERY FEW graduates of Caribbean or other international medical schools will be able to obtain residency positions in the US. Despite the fact you went to undergrad in the US and are a US citizen, you still face an uphill battle to obtain a residency position coming from an offshore (Caribbean) medical school in this climate. No residency in the US = no practicing in the US as a physician. Not a good gamble to make.

Good luck!

I totally disagree about the Caribbean. Several of my friends have recently graduated and are residents in competitive specialties. Your info is not true at all. While US schools are playing acceptance mind games and discouraging students, Caribbean schools are graduating DOCTORS.... I AM READY TO GO FORWARD. IF I DID NOT SEE IT DONE I WOULD NOT HAVE KNOWN IT WAS POSSIBLE...BESIDES THAT THE US ACCEPTANCE PROCESS IS MIXED WITH POLITICS AND PRESTIGE....MEANS NOTHING TO A DYING PATIENT. NEVER SAW A CANCER PATIENT ASK ABOUT A SCHOOL OR PREFER ONE. THE QUESTION IS ALWAYS CAN YOU HELP ME LIVE?