I'm a first year resident and I'm really struggling. I can't tell if I hate what I'm doing or just hate the newness/hardness of it. Is this normal? Should it be getting better yet? Honestly, I think about quitting everday.

I found the first 3 months the hardest. It's gotten much, much better since then. Some of that was my schedule getting a little better, a lot of it was gradually feeling better about what I was actually doing all day long, and another big chunk was figuring out ways that it didn't feel like my schedule was tearing my family into little pieces. Hang in there!!

Is anyone else struggling? Honey, EVERYBODY is struggling! Anyone NOT thinking of quitting is not normal. Do you feel like everyone else "gets it" and you're the dumb one there? Guess what, everyone else feels the same! Please talk to your classmates. I guarantee they feel the same way and you will feel better knowing you are not alone. Also read our thread from last year: http://www.mommd.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/topics/77321/2 and this one from the year before: http://www.mommd.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/topics/71754/1

(I wasn't gonna bring it up, but since it's in last year's thread, January through March were the hardest months from me, but my schedule had a lot to do with it. Also the early months were hard because of novelty, but by middle of year I was really down and had moved to "why am I not getting this YET" and "is this EVER gonna end?" - happy 2nd year now, so far!)

Keep your head up, commiserate with your collegues, let your support system support you, and know that you are more than good enough. Set short term goals for yourself with rewards scheduled at regular intervals. Try hard to find time for fun/exercise/whatever and don't feel bad about never studying outside of work.

One day at a time, and by this time next year you'll be offering your own thoughts to someone else who is struggling.

Hopefully you also have support in your program, or at least someone you can check in with - I guarantee that you aren't the only one having trouble, and maybe theres something the program can do.

Keep us posted, we all feel your pain.

Nd, you don't exactly say whether you're doubting your capabilities or just hating the environment or the work hours or the life balance (wait... could it be... all of those things??)

One of my mantras was "they didn't admit me by mistake." Meaning, you didn't fake your way through college and MS1 and MS2 and whatever else you've done. You can do this. It is just really really hard sometimes. Like, July and August. And late fall when you're burned out. And winter, when you're half way through but it feels like a l o n g time to go. And midspring when your MS2 friends are studying genially in coffeeshops....

I love it!

Find ways to commiserAte! Everyone on this forum was so supportive sharing their stories whether they were in my same boat or have been out of residency for many years!

Also- find a theme song. I found mine late in the year but it made me laugh and smile even when things were getting nuts. I would listen to it when I thought I would lose my mind and on th e way to work every morning for mental preparation.

"nobody's gonna break my stride, nobody's gonna slow me down, oh no! I got to keep on movin!"

My toddler even know all the words now!

If it makes you feel any better, I feel like a moron at least once a day! Intern year FTW!

babylove, your theme song is great. Good for you for having an upbeat song ... I always felt like the soundtrack to intern year was something like The Mountain Goats' "This Year" or maybe Flogging Molly's "The Worst Day Since Yesterday".

Needless to say, I despised my intern year.

Ok, I am totally dating myself but one of my theme songs (another being hey ya by outkast. And stayin' alive which is also my code blue theme song):

If you wake up and don't want to smile,
If it takes just a little while,
Open your eyes and look at the day,
You'll see things in a different way.

Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow,
Don't stop, it'll soon be here,
It'll be, better than before,
Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone.

Why not think about times to come,
And not about the things that you've done,
If your life was bad to you,
Just think what tomorrow will do.

Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow,
Don't stop, it'll soon be here,
It'll be, better than before,
Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone.

All I want is to see you smile,
If it takes just a little while,
I know you don't believe that it's true,
I never meant any harm to you.

Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow,
Don't stop, it'll soon be here,
It'll be, better than before,
Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone.

Don't you look back,
Don't you look back