I am 12 weeks pregnant with a 17 month old boy at home. Today is the first day of my vacation, and I have the worst sort of a head cold or allergies. I started to sneeze so hard that pee started to dribble down my legs. Then as I was sitting on the toilet to try to empty my bladder, I sneezed again and a big ball of snot landed on my thigh. I feel beyond gross.

And then my husband started giving me shit because he hasn't had any time to himself all day. Seriously? My nose is so raw from blowing my nose that I am having to blow my nose into my hands and wash them. Oh, did I mention I have the worst kind of morning sickness and exhaustion? I am so miserable.

Ok. Not the worst kind of morning sickness. I am not hospitalized or anything. Just very nauseated all day punctuated by waves of very intense nausea and gagging.

I have discovered that if I lean forward, the nose just drains without having to blow my nose. This is so gross.

The best thing in the world for me is my Netti-Pot. Helps to keep all that junk out of the nose without meds.

I was not a happy camper when I was pregnant. I had morning sickness that lasted all day for the first trimester, and then I was tired the rest of the time. My husband was never home, and when he was, he was not available. What saved me was hiring neighborhood teens and college kids to come over for a few hours and play with my older ones so I could take a nap. Those teens were more like older sibs to my kids and the kids loved having them over to play. Naturally, I picked kids who were mature, responsible, and able to handle toddlers, and I was also on hand in the house. As these kids got older- along with my own kids- they were the best babysitters if I needed to go out.

For outings, I would bring along a neighborhood pre-teen. They were still young enough to enjoy a free trip to the zoo or a kid movie, and they loved having some pocket money as well. So nice to have an extra set of hands for potty breaks and meals, or to just run after them at the park when I got too big to run fast.

Hope you feel better

Sorry for the whine fest up there! I recovered from the head cold fully and went on a great vacation. My son is getting to be so fun to travel with! He is positively obsessed with trucks and while we were driving, he learned the signs for big and small by comparing industrial trucks vs. pick up trucks.

BTW, my husband and I are very liberal, and we are very gender neutral with my son. He has a kitchen set, a pink baby doll, baby crib, and even a pink doll strollar along with cars, train set, blocks, and duplos. Funny thing is that he is totally obsessed with cars, trains, buses and trucks. He does like his pink strollar, but mainly because he gets to crash it into the walls.

I am a rock climber, and last weekend I went to Squamish in British Columbia for some climbing. I had been feeling so tired for the first trimester, and I was so happy that I finally felt relatively normal and climbed well. For those of you horrified, don't worry. I am not leading anymore which means I am not risking falling. I don't seem to be as lucky with nausea. I am into my second trimester, and nausea seems to getting worse and not better. And with food aversion, I am having a hard time eating. I have only gained 3 lbs so far... Last pregnacy I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, and I had such a hard time gaining weight because of diet restrictions. I have an appointment in a few weeks, so I will see if my doctor is OK with my very slight weight gain. I hope that I am not diabetic again. That was aweful. I am such a carb fiend.

Ahh! You gave me your head cold LOL

WTG on your weight gain, that's an accomplishment! I've put on 13 pounds over these 25 weeks, and I need to hold it. I was a little thick to begin with and baby will literally be ok if I don't gain anymore. And, I'd like it to not be such a burden to get rid of after!!

None of you people with your weight gains should worry here. I gained 60 lbs with my pregnancy last year. I have lost 47, so I don't have much to go, but you will be fine.

Congrats Clee on being so active while expecting! That's incredible, and I should have totally done that! I'm a runner, and I wish I had kept up when I was pregnant. Would make all this weight losing easier now!

Haha, while nausea is still going strong, my appetite has really picked up. Now, I am eating so much, it is scaring me a little.

Big news is that tomorrow is the first day I am taking off to spend with my baby. The plan is to take off one day a week for as long as we can afford it. And despite my total financial paranoia, I am doing it! And I went ahead and even took one of next weeks off. Yikes! First thing we are doing tomorrow is to go over our finances and budget item by item. I feel so financially reckless...

I am an anesthesiologist practicing in an non-academic center. Full time is about 65+ hours a week, but now I am taking about 10 hours off per week, so I am working 55+. I have a husband with a very flexible schedule who is willing to pretty much do everything domestic. We hire help to ease the burden off my husband. My mother in law takes care of the baby while we work. She had never wanted to be paid because she said she is not hired help. We gift her monthly just because we felt like we needed to show her our appreciation somehow, but the amount is meager. I am a rock climber. I would say next to medicine, that is my second passion. I have a wonderful 18 month boy and expecting another one in March. I have achieved financial security.

The question is, why do I feel like my life is still not balanced???!!!

Before I had the baby, I said there is no way that something as little as having children would affect my career. Right. Having my son changed my life. And my career. I stopped taking on more responsibilities of running the group. I declined to be in any more leadership postions. It is clear to everyone that becoming a leader in our physician group is no longer a priority for me. While my other male collegues with small children take on more responsibilities and step up to take over as leaders, I am shrinking away from additional responsibilities. In fact, I just couldn't handle not spending enough time with my baby and have decided to start taking one day off per week. I may even consider taking more time off if we figure out that it is financially possible.

Even with one day off per week, I still feel like I simply don't have enough time for myself, my husband, or my son. With my son, I feel like taking one day off per week is just scratching at the surface of what I need with him.

I have not really spent alone time with my husband since my son was born. We go to the opera and that is it. I have decided to spend at least 2 hours a week alone with my husband. But even just 2 hours a week feels like time I should be spending with my son. My husband and I have talked about spending a weekend a quarter alone, but I am just not sure if I am ready.

I take 30 minutes each day at night to get on the exercise bike. I try to go to the rock gym and hang out with my friends once a week, but many times I can't tear myself away from my baby. I am slowly losing my friends (who are all climbers) because I am not really available to climb much). I have gone climbing with my baby and had a great time, but that is so much work, and finding partners who will be happy with a baby is pretty hard. When I spend time away from my son, I feel guilty and regret what I am missing out with my son. So I end up with work, baby, work, baby, work, baby until I feel totally burnt out where I don't spend quality time with my son because I am not all there. I think finding mom friends would be helpful, but so far, I have a hard time relating to other moms and people who are not very outdoorsy or active. And I don't even have time to spend with established friends and feel like seeking new ones out is really not that realistic.

I feel like I have a pretty great situation. Why do I feel like I am not balance at all? I feel like I am short changing my career, my son, my husband, and myself. Is this how parents who work many hours feel? What more can I do?

The night started so promising. I thought I would be back home with my son by 7:30 at the latest. At 10:23 I am still here. I barely had 10 minutes for dinner at 10 PM where I ate whatever I could find at the doctor's lounge: a piece of wheat toast, Campbell's chicken noodle soup, and some kind of berry smoothie with protein that tasted like drinking chalk. I feel guilty because I was starving my unborn child without dinner. And when I did manage to eat, I ate so badly. It is like I am already a bad mother, and he is not even born yet!

I have started my internal debate over whether I should go home when I am done here. I am thinking I will be here until 1 AM or so. It would be logical to stay at the hospital and sleep, but my son wakes up asking for me every morning. And majority of mornings I am not there.

I called my husband, and I could hear my son keep saying "mama." I had no idea that working and having kids would be so difficult. Why is it that other people seem OK, but it kills me?

Oh clee, that sounds heartbreaking Can your husband bring your son around when you have late hospital nights? Maybe have dinner together in the cafeteria or hang out a while in the lounge?