I am a college student, and I just got admitted into a program with my university that gives me admission into med school (As long as I get a 30 on my MCATs). My dad is a DO and has had his own private practice, done hospitalist work, and now he works at an urgent care clinic. I have been to work with him, and I'd think I'd love being a primary care doctor, but what I expect from my future family doesn't seem to match up with a medical career. I want to be the best mother I can be. I know it's really early to think of this, but I really value family. I don't want to have my kids in a daycare 5x a week. Maybe when they're preschool age, but I don't want to have toddlers in preschool. I want to make as many home-cooked meals as I can. I want to clean my own house and garden and be a good house wife. Since I have gotten accepted into the program, I thought that maybe I could become a hospitalist and work nights. My dad did that and he loved it. However, I'm not sure if I'd be truly happy with that because I feel like it's harder to connect with patients. I thought of becoming a teacher, but I have to admit that the salary is a turn off. I am lucky and grateful to have a decent scholarship for my school, and my father said if I went to med school, he'd pay because he doesn't want me to deal with the loans like he did. With that being said, I want to be able to provide the same for my own children someday. I don't really care about money for materialistic reasons, but more so for my kids' future. I would be happy making 80k a year. I am really struggling to make a decision with this program. I can drop out of it anytime, but if my family goals aren't realistic, would I be wasting my time in med school? I respect all of you mothers for any input. Thank you.

If you do not want your children in daycare, you will have to have at least one spouse stay home. I would have to say a career in medicine is most likely incompatible with what your vision is for family. Although there are some who are doing part-time (read: still 40 hours+) and have limited time when the kids are in child care. Perhaps they can speak better to that aspect of things...

As a medical student with four children, I do have balance right now. But my children are also in daycare/school. I have quality time with my kids versus quantity- and that is okay for me, but everyone is different in how they feel about that dynamic.

Good luck with your choices- you may want to see if your father can connect you with some female physicians who are balancing career and family to make the decision.

Have you thought about being a PA? You are done in two years, and you could easily work part-time. It might be the perfect fit for working in medicine, but balancing a family the way you'd like.

You echo my hearts desires and I can tell you, it's definitely possible but how much are you willing to give up? I am a 2 yr FP resident with a 22month old son who has never seen the insides of a daycare (or hosp... Thank God). To achieve this, I've hustled to an inch of my life. I have scheduled every family member for the next 3 yrs into taking care of him and I've planned vaycays around him. I also cosider myself a full time house wife, i cook, clean, do laundry for my family. I personally think FP works for me and is the best because there are options post grad to make things doable. Like working part time, doing nights n weekend in urgent care etc. there is a way to accomplish your dreams but what are you willing to give up?

1) Sounds like you have a lot of influence from your dad (free med school? I'm drooling!). Think VERY carefully if this is what YOU want. If working physician hours would make you resentful because of lost family time, please don't do it. There are plenty of other capable people who would be happy to take your spot. If being at home would make you happy, then do that, and don't feel a lick bad about it.

2) The life you want to lead (cooking all meals, not using daycare, housecleaning, etc.) is really only compatible with working part time in ANY job. I really don't see how you could work part time and still make 80K, even in medicine (unless you were a surgical subspecialist). Night shift can be a nice compromise, but you will still have to sleep during the day while someone else cares for the children.

3) Do you have a SO? If you are still in college, you still have a LOT of living to do. You may have different views on family and career even a couple years ahead, if not ten years. My suggestion would be to hang tight, explore fun electives, and keep your med school spot for now.

If you do go for medicine, the best option would be to wait until all of your training is done to have kids, and then negotiate part-time, in my opinion.

You can also do what's rarely mentioned around there here parts, and that is have your kids, enjoy your marriage/life, THEN go to med school.

Keep on mind that there's more than one way to become a Doc and that what's best for you may not be a choice anyone else would/should choose. And you that's perfectly OKay!

PS- I hope to start med school the same year my kid starts college!

Hopefully, I don't sound too harsh, but I think what you are envisioning is unrealistic-- at least the way that I'm perceiving it. You want to be able to do all the housework, cook all the meals, be the primary caretaker for your children, make enough money to fund your children's college and grad school educations, make $80K a year, and have continuity with your patients. I just don't think that all that is feasible-- I mean you can have parts of it and have it in a way that may work out for you, but maybe this goes back to that debate about having it all, but you can't do all of that at the same time. If you want to be the primary caretaker of your children and never have anyone else take care of them then really you can't have any other type of job-- even if you worked from home, your attention would be divided. Zeze's mom has a good set up, but she is obviously having a lot of family support and my impression from onewaystreet's post is that she wants to be the primary caretaker-- maybe I'm mistaken, please correct me if I am.

I agree with all the excellent advice that asunshine gave. I am under the impression that you are very young and do still need to figure out what you want and what works for you. I agree with Path's advice, too, but the only thing, Path, is that if onewaystreet wants to finance her children's education then she needs to figure how to do that prior to starting her medical career.

I may get totally slammed for saying this, but when I first read the post-- I thought your best bet was to have your significant other be the primary breadwinner. If teaching is your passion then I would consider the field-- I know many teachers who take 6 yrs off until their children are in school and unlike with medicine re-entry is much more feasible. But again to do that-- someone in the household needs to be making the money. Either that or be independently wealthy.

I believe a huge part of what's wrong with so many young people today is that many feel entitled to having their college educations paid for, then when they graduate, expect to make 6 figures with NO experience and a BS degree in Sociology.

Now perhaps because my kid is being recruited by colleges as a tenth grader I feel she won't need her parents as much. But even if that weren't the case, any logical financial advisor would say that parents should secure their retirement plans BEFORE paying for a kids' education. And the fact is that earning an education the way most people do in this country by paying for it themselves never hurt anyone. In fact, I think it builds character!

I disagree that a spouse has to stay at home for your child to at home. My child is "at home," but with a wonderful nanny. That's another alternative to daycare. My husband and I are both in medicine and we both work very much full-time. Also, what does it mean to you to be a "good housewife?" I consider myself to be a very good wife and mother. I coordinate all of our household employees (read: one full time nanny and a second nanny who also does household work); arrange childcare for my son; am primary breadwinner; arrange my child's multiple specialist medical appointments and therapy; help with groceries and cooking. My husband is the primary cook in the family, but also a very hardworking medical student. I may not be a traditional "housewife," but I do a lot for my family, as does my husband. Working together, we are managing to both be physicians and parents. I don't totally understand why some young women these days feel the need to take on everything related to home life for their families. Why can't husbands/fathers pitch in? Why is hired help or daycare considered "bad?" I would suggest looking more closely at how you define a "good housewife." One can be a very loving wife and mother while still working outside the home as a physician or in any other profession. Being a physician scientist is integral to my sense of self and well-being, and I think my whole family is happier when I'm happier. So I choose to work outside the home and hire whatever help I need.

I have one other thought to add: I have noticed that many posters will begin their post with "I value family," and then discuss the conflict they face internally between work and caring for children. I will say, I also "value family" very much. My child means more to me than anything. I do not think that staying home with your children inherently "proves" a mother "values family." One can value family deeply and still choose to work for a variety of reasons -- one of them being that your family needs you to work to bring necessary income in. "Valuing family" and "valuing work" may be one and the same, especially for single parents who have no choice but to work. Having been raised in one of those homes, I am sensitive to the argument that "valuing family" neccessarily means staying at home with your children.