I RSVP'ed to a mommy group function. Does anyone else feel like an ugly girl rushing for a sorority when they are trying to fit into a mommy group? They are all smiles and warmth until they learn that you work outside the home. Doctor? Who would've thought that fact would be the nail that shut my mommy social life coffin?

I fully plan to avoid work conversation with my new mommy group. I'm a fraud. A SAHM poser. Shameful. Oh well. *shrug*

Wasn't all that impressed with the moms. Can't help it if I don't feel like I can relate to SAHM's who look to be about 20. But my son had a blast. Basically it was a large gym filled with ride on toys, bikes, slides, teeter totters, and other toys. My son wore himself out and needed an extra nap and went to bed early. I am going to keep trying meetup functions in hopes to meet new moms and expose my son to social situations. I really wanna meet other professional outdoorsy moms who live near me with children my age. Haha, is that too narrow? I have actually met some through one meetup for outdoorsy moms, and it seems they are so busy they don't have time for much.

On some days my son seems to be potty trained completely may be except for poop. No accidents for 2 days. Then today, he is peeing all over the place. I just don't get it.

Pregnancy insomnia is on full blast. I couldn't sleep from 1 am to almost 5. I am dead tired today. Worst thing is, I am missing out on the precious few hours I have with my son by sleeping when he is awake and being awake when he is sleeping. So frustrating!

MIL saga continues. Why she can't just feed him the way we want, I have no idea. We reluctantly bought her some dried organic mangoes to substitute her sugary dried cranberries and goldfish crackers. We already allow her to feed him puffs and such that are organic and sugar/salt free. But we found out today that she lets him eat a crap load of mangoes at once. She gives my 19 month old the entire bag and let him eat for a minute or two. Why is dried fruit necessary when we have fresh fruit? Why does she need to feed him an entire bag at a time? I know. I know. There are nannies who are abusive, and here I am complaining about dried fruit. She refuses to follow our diet for my son. Very frustrating. She also refuses to take him to parent/child classes. She doesn't want her schedule to revolve around my son. But isn't that her job? I keep thinking, with a nanny, I would be able to tell her what to do. *sigh*

I am gaining weight at an alarming rate. I look term I belly is so big. I have this fear that my next baby will weigh 12 lbs and I will need a c-section. Or suffer 1st degree tears.

So I have decided to cut out all the crap out of my diet. No more naked smoothie for lunch. No more fizzy juice I bought for morning sickness. No more desserts.

I had baked fish, steamed green beans, and fruit and nut salad for lunch with water. I would kill for some pie. I am craving sweets like crazy! I don't even like sweets normally. Sweets and pickles. Well, at least pickles are low calorie food. May be the weight is water weight from eating so much salt?

And more faithful about lifting weights. Must do that.

I just want to sit on my couch and eat desserts for the next 3 months and nap. What is wrong with me...

this is in response to your mommy club comments: That is funny! Glad to hear its not just in the south.
I am a member of this twins group (have twins) This woman who is rising the ranks of the powers of the twins group (oh no, social climbing at its best ha ha-bet thats going to result in some great things...) who has twin girls born on the same day as my boys, approached me at some function, chat chat, ha ha until mid conversation she found out I worked-then suddenly treated me as if I were a streetwalker...
Hilariously, the next year her girls were taking swimming in the same class as my twin boys. She saw my nanny and thought she was their mother--and approached her about joining the twins club--when she found out she was a nanny (gasp) once again had the same reaction (I guess concerned with communicable diseases from working women)

Anyhoo--I know that someone this judgemental is so because of some deep unhappiness/disatisfaction, but have to say only partly amused....glad to know that someone thinks that I'm subhuman because I'm trying to stamp out human suffering and disease on a daily basis....

Holy moly, I had a mommy-baby class teacher treat me that way yesterday. All smiles and nice nice until I said I can't make to all her classes because I work. Then the cold shoulder. Seriously? I pay you! Never mind that I was all gushing about how wonderful her class was (which by the way really was).

I did look around and realize that my son and I looked a bit shabby. He is wearing stained clothing I got off craig's list and I am wearing maternity yoga clothing with, well, fresh food stains as well. His face wasn't all that wiped off well. So what, shabby and dirty kids of SAHM's is OK but not working moms? Well, whatever. I just don't see paying for new clothes on a toddler.

On the diabetic front, seems I am diabetic this time as well. I checked my sugar with my old strips, and they are really high. Sigh. I called my doctor to see if she will call in some strips for me, and they say that they can't until tomorrow because she is out. There has to be a doctor covering for her, right? I know, I know, I am being a bad patient, but seriously, this office is starting to really piss me off. One of my readings was over 200. Aren't they concerned?! They weren't even going to test me until 28 weeks even though I had gestational diabetes before. Of course it doesn't help that I am reading practice guidelines and comparing it to what my doc is doing. My first screening was OK, and my next screening isn't until week and a half later, but I was feeling so crappy, decided to test myself. I'm reading very high, but I also realized that the strips are expired.

Spoke with a friend OB who thinks the strips are probably legit since they expired in Oct. She told me to get off carbs stat and call my doctor. I sometimes wonder if I should just go to her, but I don't know if I want someone that I work with everyday to be my doc. And my partner to do my epidural. I am going on vacation. What am I going to eat!? Waaaah.

Just got back from a family vacation. There was much drama. I feel like I need a vacation from this vacation. Let's just say that the only woman who did not cry was my mom, and that is because she does not allow anyone to see her weakness.

On the last day, my husband and I got into a huge fight that lasted for days. Unfortunately, we had a 'romantic dinner' planned for that night. It was horrible.

What I was thinking when we decided to have my husband and my baby, my parents, my brother his wife and kids, my mother in law, my brother in law all at the same vacation while in third trimester, I will never know.

Well my marriage and I are slowly recovering from this hell that took place in beautiful Hawaii.

Well, it's official. I am going part time. The administrator reminded me of a rule where one person isn't suppose to take all the extra days. So she recommended that if I intended to keep taking this much time off, I should make it official and she would bring it up to the executive committee. I am totally freaking out.

We are the worst procrastinators on the planet earth for Christmas. Baby's presents are still unwrapped, not sure what I'm getting my husband for his stocking, and the cards just got sent Monday.

Well, the card. I attempted to make one of those picture cards with my entire family. Well, minus the cat. So it was 2 adults, 1 toddler, and 3 dogs with world's worst photographer (my mother in law) and her ancient camera. In the end, we picked one picture, but I am not sure I am ok with how I look. That was a circus.

I am feeling the thrid trimester blues. GDM is now official which means I can't eat anything that tastes good. I am too big and have too much pelvic and back pain to do anything active (like day hikes, sledding, snowboarding, hell, I would settle for rock gym). I am turning super duper cranky. I am still exercising everyday, but even stationary biking is getting hard. In attempt to save money, we cancelled our gym membership and got some weight sets. In less than 2 months we would be ahead as far as money goes. And I would save 40 minutes of car ride. It is so weird how I feel like I am back in college, medical school, or residency where I needed to make an art out of time conservation. Where did my life go where driving to the gym was not a big deal? Good news is that I have over a decade of practice, and if I recall right, I was a champ at time management. It's just that I didn't think I would ever be in this time crunch situation once I was done with residency. I was so clueless about motherhood. *sigh*

My latest thing: self help books. I alternate listening to a parenting book and a marriage book on my commute in the morning. I read them when I am sitting around at work, and I read them while I ride my exercise bike. I feel like I have a much better handle on how to deal with my toddler. Marriage? Things were already getting better so I am not sure if it has anything to do with reading these books. More reading the marriage books on principle to put my marriage before kids. I just wish they would write above a sixth grade level...