It seems the norm these days to have 2 kids, especially for women who are trying to pull off some level of work-family balance.
I thought I only wanted to have 2 maximum. Until, that is, I had twins and got to have 2 my first go around.
Now we are considering having a third, and having a difficult time with our decision. We worry about many things, including having 3 kids:2 parents (the "outnumbered" ratio), affording the third (infant care all the way through college!). My husband points out that when we first had kids, I always complained about how I never got to go out and see friends anymore, or do anything remotely culturally/intellectually inspiring, and that another child will just prolong returning to a more full, rich life outside of being parents.
My own observations have been that mothers who have 2 can generally juggle it all fairly well, but it's the third kid that can often send them over the edge (totally unscientific observations, of course).
While I recognize all of the above, I really long to have the experience of just one baby. I have this deep sense that my family doesn't yet feel complete. Long term it seems more right to have a family of five, even if short term it will be tougher. I often hear from people that I am "lucky" to have twins because I can just be done, but that has never sat well with me.
And of course, there's the idea of adding even more complexity to work-family balance, which to be honest is the major source of stress in my life. When it all seems so chaotic anyway though, why not have 1 more in the mix?

Anyone with some insight, advise, or personal experience to add?

I had twins, now 6, and third 16 months ago...many people, including our parents thought we were crazy. We debated this for a long time and still get little nervous about the expense. It definitely is logistically challenging to add a third child: from minor things like fitting 3 car seats across the back row seats and amusement parks with kids of very different ages to childcare and cost of 3 tuitions. We don't regret it at all and it's been good in many ways for twins to have a younger sibling, but the older ones definitely don't get as much attention as before with the finite time there is. I also have two sibs though and we all turned out ok and our parents worked outside the home as well. Unlike with the first 2 yrs with the twins, I feel that I have been able to enjoy this last baby more because it's just easier and we don't stress so much about all the little things that first time parents get anxious about. I love watching them grow and learn and I learn from them as well. I agree that work- life balance is the major source of stress in my life but the kids keep my perspective on life balanced. I am not solely defined by my job or title. I am a mom first and foremost.

Well, I only have 2, but my mom had 3 (with 3y and 7y gaps) and I thought it was a great number. It's the minimum to have that 'gang' feeling among the kids but not so many as to overwhelm the parents' ability to give everyone attention.

Mom said it was far and away easier to have 3 with 2 olders and a nanny/housekeeper for the little one, than to have 2 small ones in day care.

So based on that, I'd say wait a few years, then have the baby and hire a nanny! Enjoy! If I were younger I'd totally have a third.

My third one was the easiest of all (we have 4). I think that when your family is complete, you will know. We debated stopping after three, but I really didn't feel ready... after #4, I knew that our family was complete, and the desire to have more kids was gone. It can be a struggle when there are many little people about, but I am really enjoying the dynamics of a big family as they get older (OK, well not *always*, but mostly).

I always thought my life was pretty full and rich when the kids were younger, even if my cultural experiences were limited to children's museums and Disney on Ice. We had a third, even though we always said we would only have two. Just make sure the third knows he/she was definitely NOT an "oops". Somehow Baby Daughter got the idea that she was a "mistake" and held in a lot of unnecessary resentments until we were able to get to the root of the problem.

I don't really have any advice for you, since we've got one and I have always anticipated having a 2nd, and still want a second, but sometimes wonder if we'd be better off sticking with 1 so that we can focus more of our resources (time, money) on her... But anyway, one question: have you entertained the possibility that your "third" could actually be "third and fourth"? I don't know what the circumstances of your twins was, but it's possible to have more than one set. I know someone who had one child, and then two sets of twins (eek!). Not sure if she was using ART or not, but just throwing that out there. Not to be discouraging, just wondering if you had thought about it!

Thank you all for the input.
We have "spontaneous" identical twins, twins do not run in my family, no ART, so I don't think we're at any greater risk than anyone else for more twins. Unless I wait til I am in my late 30s, which isn't so far away!

And I hope that my message didn't make it sound like I don't think I have a rich life with my children. It's just that I miss things that were important in my old life. Such as, the Oscars coming up in a few days and I haven't seen most of the contenders!
But more seriously, we have lost contact with so many friends since having twins, for a variety of reasons. In theory, as the kids get older, we could reconnect, but to some extent I worry we will never go back to having a social life (beyond other families with young kids), so having a third child won't have much effect one way or the other.

Going from 0 --> 1 was hard. 1 --> 2 was by far worse.

I have no idea how you survived 0 -->2. Between my incompetence as a first-time parent (never babysat as a child!) and not knowing how to divide my time effectively when DD was born, I am amazed at anyone who can pull both of those conundrums off at the same time!

In all honesty, going from 2 --> 3 was a snap. Are you outnumbered? Yes. But, our kids play so well together- even my eight year old with the 17 month old (we have four as well). And making it work depends on mine and DH's ability to stick with positive reinforcement & routine.

I agree with Residentmom. You will know when your family is complete. We always wanted to have a larger family, DH comes from a family of 11, and I come from a family of three. We love the organized chaos, live by a Google calendar, and have a blast. But we know we are done with the newborn/little baby stage.

I think kids adjust well to a variety of situations as long as they are loved and given quality time. Good luck in your decision!

We have been having a lot of fun reconnecting with our old friends since Baby Daughter went off to college.