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#84156 - 03/06/12 01:46 AM Re: Case Against Breastfeeding [Re: clee03m]
AmmaMD Offline
Super Elite Member

Registered: 12/25/09
Posts: 718
Originally Posted By: clee03m
So my attitude is very different than the author's. And my husband and I tried to make things more fair. I breastfeed. He changes diapers. And I mean he changes diapers even after I am done breastfeeding. He washes all the bottles and pump parts. He puts together the pump parts and bottles in the pump bag for me for work. After I night wean, he gets the night duty. He brings baby to rock climbing and watches him so I can still climb while I breastfeed. Does it even things out completely? No. But I also get to breastfeed. I feel like this is not unlike pregnancy and birth. It is way more work, but he will never have the experience of baby's first kick or holding a new born that just came out of you in your arms.


But in some ways, that matches the author's attitude - she concludes that much of it *is* worth it to her, at this point - she just (1) wants it acknowledged that it is a point of imbalance, and (2) that it's worth it primarily because of the experience itself, not because of critical health effects for the infant.

Or perhaps I'm reading it that way because it's how I feel about it =).

I think the thing I want acknowledged is that it does impact women professionally. We can *totally* say it's worth it - that's fine. That's what we do with kids all the time - that's like 80% of this forum, in fact. But it's important to acknowledge that it's a trade off we're making, and it's helpful at the same time to be honest about (and feel like others are being honest with us about) the good and bad of the available options while we're at it.

Last little thought: I think it's awesome that your husband does all the pump part washing and assembling, Clee03m (as does mine), but... even this seems like it should be noted as a cost! I mean, with no parental leave at all, my husband already gets little enough time with kids - it's a shame to suck a non-negligible chunk of it up into such a non-rewarding activity as washing and assembling pump parts!

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#84172 - 03/06/12 06:38 PM Re: Case Against Breastfeeding [Re: AmmaMD]
AnnaM Offline
Super Elite Member

Registered: 08/22/05
Posts: 1021
Loc: midwest
I actually enjoyed breastfeeding more with the second and third one than the first one. Why? Because when I was feeding the baby and the older kids needed looking after, I could sit there with my feet up and delegate to DH, using the argument "Sorry dear, but I'm the only one who can do this, so you'll have to take care of that."

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#84173 - 03/06/12 07:11 PM Re: Case Against Breastfeeding [Re: AnnaM]
tr_ Offline
Elite Member

Registered: 08/15/10
Posts: 379
Originally Posted By: AnnaM
I actually enjoyed breastfeeding more with the second and third one than the first one. Why? Because when I was feeding the baby and the older kids needed looking after, I could sit there with my feet up and delegate to DH, using the argument "Sorry dear, but I'm the only one who can do this, so you'll have to take care of that."


I totally pull this on a regular basis. (Although don't tell my DH, but when I'm home alone with the two of them I'm perfectly capable of porting the baby around while I do other tasks with my free hand.)

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#84174 - 03/06/12 08:37 PM Re: Case Against Breastfeeding [Re: tr_]
southernmd Offline
Super Elite Member

Registered: 02/04/10
Posts: 1418
Like Clee, I have a husband who washes all the pump parts and packed my bag for the day etc. He washed the parts, I pumped the milk/breastfed. We considered my time pumping to be time away from the baby too. We both lost there, because my baby wouldn't latch after about five months either. But it was worth it to both of us to do it.

Every time I mention having another one, my husband groans and says how much he's dreading the pump! LOL.

tr_ and AnnaM- what a fantastic way to manage things! And isn't it the truth? Awesome break well-deserved. smile

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#84175 - 03/06/12 10:04 PM Re: Case Against Breastfeeding [Re: southernmd]
AnnaM Offline
Super Elite Member

Registered: 08/22/05
Posts: 1021
Loc: midwest
For sure.

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