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You can meet some of these women in our discussion groups.
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or introduce yourself via one of our
discussion groups. Read more bios
and stories.
29 Year Old Medical Student
"It's so hard to contemplate motherhood while balancing my career. It will
be helpful to have the support and advice of others. Many support groups have
a focus only on people who are already mothers. I hope this group will have
some ideas for those of us just thinking about it. I also hope that there will
be a voice for fathers/those contemplating fatherhood somewhere in this group."
NR, 29
How to Make it Work
"I do not have children yet, however I am trying to figure out how to "make
it all work". I will be graduating medical school and getting married this
spring. I hope to have children in the not to far future and welcome any suggestions
on how to balance it all." SC, 26
MSII, Thinking Of Quittiing
"Having already completed a PhD, the decision to go to med school was not
an easy one to make. Could I take the long hours of studying? Could I ignore
those who tell me that at 27 I should already have my career established? Where
will family fit in? I just got married 2 months ago and am dealing with the
conflicting feelings about which comes first...med school? Starting a family?
My husband is a general surgery resident. That will mean long hours for him.
Can I bring children into the world knowing that they may be deprived of Dad
and Mom? Having just started my second year of med school, I am seriously thinking
about quitting and focusing on family. Thank you for setting up this site. I
look forward to learning from women who are feeling or have felt like I have."
JM, 27
Third Year Medical Student wants
Kids
"I'm a third year med student, about-to-be married and planning children
in the next few years. In the next nine months or so, I actually have to decide
on a specialty and would love to hear how people in different fields find the
combination of motherhood and doctor hood as I make this really, really big
important decision." HK, 26 "I am engaged to be married after my first
year of medical school. My fiancé is completely supportive of my career
goals, but before I even considered medicine, I knew I wanted to become a mother
- I don't want to be a "deadbeat mom" who's on call at the hospital
every night. I'm really interested in surgery - it fascinates me, and I know
that I would be really good at the job - but I don't want to neglect my future
children and husband." KC, 20
Overwhelmed Medical Student, Mom
of Three
"I would like to know how other mothers are coping with medical school.
I am feeling very overwhelmed and pulled into too many directions." YK,
34 , mother of 3
Fourth Year Medical Student with
5 month Old Baby
"I'm a 4th year med student with a 5 month old baby. I took an indirect
road to med school like many of you. From the time I was 8 or 9, I dreamed of
becoming a doctor. Throughout high school I was repeatedly discouraged by doctor-friends
of the family who warned me about the inevitable changes in medicine. During
all of this time, I held on to my dream but got a little scared by what I was
hearing. I attended … as an undergraduate and majored in chemical engineering
(just in case I didn't want to go to med school). I became involved in undergraduate
research in biomedical engineering and convinced myself that I could help others
by going into research instead of medical school. I started a PhD program Halfway
into it, I began to think that the PhD thing was a mistake. I wasn't happy and
kept wondering "what if I had gone to medical school". These thoughts
haunted me until I finally made the decision to go to medical school after finishing
my PhD. I remember the day when I finally committed myself to medical school.
I was so incredibly excited. Every time I thought about med school or becoming
a doctor and helping others I became so excited and determined! This was all
I wanted to do. So I finished up my PhD thesis and headed off to med school."
KM
Am I am Oddity?
"I sometimes think that I am an oddity. I am the only female in my class
with a child to go into the regular four year med program (One woman went alternative
path, which means you do your first year in two years...she has a 2 yr old.)
Anyway, I definitely think that the men with kids outnumber us ladies, at least
in school...Don't know that it will hold true later. I hope not. I am 29. I
went the PhD route first straight out of school. Decided that I was much better
suited for clinics (NOW that's a long story!). Anyway, I really enjoyed my first
year. Don't get me wrong, it was hard, but great fun (I can say that now that
anatomy is OVER!!!). I have the greatest supportive husband. He loves being
a dad, and that takes away a lot of guilt. When he is with her, I felt better
about not being there. Also, had a good daycare!" TT, 29
MSIV with Three Year old and 3 month
Old
"I am a fourth year at … with a 3 year old and a 3 month old. I found
out that I was pregnant a few weeks before I began my first year of medical
school. I was in a complete panic thinking that this would never work for me,
but things have worked out surprisingly well. I took advantage of the five year
program to give me a little more time when my first son was born in April of
my first year. (the weekend before block exams!) This allowed me to have the
time that I needed when he was an infant. During this first year, when I was
pregnant and then with a newborn - I learned the value of "slow and steady
wins the race." PK, mother of 2
Fourth Year Student with Two Month
old boy
"I am a 4th year medical student. I now have a 2 month old little boy.
The Deans office at ….was fantastic about accommodating my pregnancy and
uncertainty for the future. However, my psychiatry preceptor who evaluated me
told me that he felt that I had to pee too much and that my needing to eat lunch
interfered with my being part of the 'team'. I was 34 - 38 weeks pregnant at
the time. I did a fantastic job and deserved a much better mark than I received.
I don't feel that my pregnancy interfered in any way with my work. I've not
approached the Dean of Equity, but have told the psychiatry department about
this. I've asked to have my mark reevaluated. We'll see what comes of that.
This was my first experience with discrimination based on pregnancy. Other departments
were fantastically understanding. The department of medicine for example gave
me time off of call to sleep at home whenever it wasn't too busy - I had a fair
amount of morning sickness and really appreciated the privacy of home. They
gave me lots of interesting patients which challenged me intellectually, and
tried to let me see patients earlier in the evening rather than later. My partner
who was a new father, took time to sleep earlier in the evening to help cover
for me later. There was nothing I wanted more than to feel like I was a full
partner in patient care. I wanted as much of a workload as I could handle and
a bit of flexibility to take a nap and finish my work later, or start earlier
if need be. All the departments other than psychiatry were very supportive."
SD, mother of one
32 Year old First Year Student, Mom of 3 year old and
expecting
"I am a 32 yr old first year student, mom of a 3 yr old and expecting my
second child next month. Even though I knew the majority of my classmates would
be very young, I was unprepared for the immaturity of many of them. And even
though they have so much less responsibility in their lives and more time to
study I wouldn't trade places for anything in the world. My life is much more
complete and balanced, even if it is more difficult. I feel very lucky to be
where I am in my life and a medical student at the same time." K, 32, mother
of one
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