After stressing about school choices every day for the week leading up to deposit deadlines, I finally just sent deposit payments to both of my top two schools. I also got an invitation to interview at my in-state school, which is amazing. It's actually a very good school, so if I got in there I would just drop the other two and deconflict some major issues in my life. That would be awesome.
In other good news, I was at school late the other day, and when I got home my husband (who doesn't study much so has free time during the day) had cleaned the house. It was incredible. I mean, not incredibly clean, but more than I've ever seen him do in one stretch before. He did the dishes, wiped down the counters, caught up the backlogged laundry, vacuumed the floor, and rearranged the livingroom, putting the bird in a spot where she is much happier. I was elated. I told him that if he could do this regularly, I wouldn't be opposed to him staying home while I work. It's just that he usually plays video games all day if he has a chance to stay home.
I've been spending some quality time with the doctor, and have more tests scheduled for next week. Hormone levels are all normal, but I have had only two cycles since he last checked them - which was 9 months ago - so he's going to check prolactin and do an ultrasound. This is not fun. Still, looking at the bright side, I am learning some interesting things about medicine and hormones.
Finally, it's a beautiful day today! I live in the Northwest, where winter is characterized by 7 months of clouds and rain. That said, it is so nice to see some blue sky.
Evidently my ultrasound showed multiple cysts - the doctor (logically, perhaps) has decided I have PCOS.
I'm pretty bothered by this. First, I don't like to think of having something like this wrong with me. Pretty annoying. Second, I'm not obese. Maybe a touch overweight (about 15 pounds more than I'd like to be) - but not obese. I know not everyone with PCOS is obese, but it was my understanding that there was a pretty strong link there. Makes me feel unhealthy, I guess. Also, it worries me a little bit, because there appears to be some correlation between insulin resistance and PCOS. I have a strong family history of diabetes, so this is concerning - although correlations are not rules.
Anyway, I feel gloomy now. I don't know what to do. Yes, I could take medications, I suppose. I guess it is one thing to decide to leave the possibility of having children while in medical school open. It seems like a different matter to take medicine to induce such a thing. I mean, how would I explain that to my doctor and not seem irresponsible? Probably doesn't help that my doctor is a man. I don't think I would worry about that if I saw a female doctor. Back to different gender expectations, I suppose. I don't expect him to understand that I'm going to have to juggle things no matter what - his wife likely stays home with their several children, after all.
I sent a letter to one school declining admission. I am still waiting to hear back from my state school, and if they don't take me I'll be a Midwesterner next year!
Every time I decline a school I regret it later. One school I turned down was in a place with family I love and amazing weather - but I hated the school and the dean. Another was in a town with very good friends, but it is a somewhat new program, and there weren't opportunities for my husband nearby. Finally, the letter I sent last week... I don't know. I had one good friend there, reasonable opportunities for my husband, but I like the Midwest school better. I could also stay in state if I am accepted here.
In other news, my husband and I are fighting like crazy. He is always on my case. I am being nagged to death. Just constantly in trouble. Occasionally he'll pipe up, realize he's being grumpy, and apologize. Due to this, I usually just try to stay out of his way until he snaps out of it. Other times he just gets furious that I'm not paying attention to him, and don't care that he's mad. Says it's "not okay" that I don't care that he's upset and don't want to communicate with him. Sometimes I'm so very miserable here. I guess this is why you have to sign a contract when you get married... things will look up eventually and they have to make sure that we stick around for that. Either way, we have an appointment with a counselor. I'm not sure what to expect from that, and am a little apprehensive about it. In the end, I just hope it helps.
Finally, school. I'm taking a lot of classes, and getting nervous about my upcoming graduation. Mostly about my thesis, which needs some serious revising. I wrote a draft, but that's it. Ugh. I'm already nervous about the defense. I tried to drop an elective, just to lighten the load, but evidently I missed the drop deadline. Oh well. One final push, and then summer!!
In good news, my husband agreed to go on a road trip this summer. I did that once when I was 19 and carefree, and it was a great experience. I've really wanted to go on a trip like that with him before we become more tied down. Summer will be so nice.
I need to plan our 6th anniversary weekend. I asked him for input on it, and he didn't have much. Gave me a cursory opinion and put on his headphones to play his cursed xbox. I swear, that thing is going to mysteriously break one day... No, not really.
Good news! I got into the in-state med school. I can't believe I spent all year flying around the country and interviewing and I'll end up about 80 miles away.
I think the Midwest school was my favorite, but it'll be nice to be close to home. Also good because my husband can go to his graduate school.
We've been going to counseling, which is good. We don't hate each other - it just helps to have someone act as a mediator.
Now I'm working on my thesis. All the research is done, the stats are done, most of the data has been put into nice tables and bar graphs, and so now I'm finishing tables and working on writing. I hate the writing. Every sentence is torture. I just don't feel like I'm not enough of an expert on the subject to write something like this.
That's about it for now. I'm really just happy to know where I'll be next year, and so glad to be out of limbo.
Thesis defense was today! It went pretty well. I had my presentation very polished - perhaps I should have studied a bit for the oral exam. I limped through it, but I certainly didn't come across as brilliant. Answering questions on the spot is as hard as they say it is.
I graduate in two weeks, and then two months off and medical school. I can't wait! So excited.
That's about it for now... just winding down, looking for housing in the new city (but don't want to pay for it!). My car broke down, and I'm not sure I want to repair or replace it. Just don't want to pay for it. I was hoping I could save my tax refund this year to help with my summer lounging, but somehow extra bills always pop up. Who knows what will happen. I really hate not having a car.
I'm halfway through summer. Pretty sad about that. I want a longer summer. I have been working, entertaining out-of-town guests, apartment hunting, and now packing for the move. I guess my real vacation will start in a week when I am moved and in a different city from my job!
I had grand plans of a month-long road trip, but my car died right before I graduated. What amazing timing. Between that and other bills, I've needed to keep my job a little longer. My mother-in-law came to visit, and she lives on a different continent, so I put everything on hold to entertain her. I am finally wrapping up my work and hoping I can get a little relaxing in before school starts.
I'm apprehensive about starting medical school. I'm sure a lot of people are. I'm excited for the future, though.
I'll miss the people at the lab here. They're doing a goodbye dinner for me tonight. I'm starting to get sad.
My husband and I are getting along much, much better. That's good news. It's hard to balance the improved relationship that weathered tough times with the damaged relationship from the fighting.
I know this is very fragmented. It's just a random update. I want a vacation. Also, money to take a vacation. That's the trick, isn't it?