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anyone not "accept" their match??

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11 years 10 months ago #63257 by Cabinbuilder
I never did match and actually scrambled into a program, site unseen, into a field I didn't want across the country North to South. I packed up everything and moved from the Great Lakes to the Texas Gulf coast. I never ever ever thought I would live in the SOUTH being from Alaska, the South was the place of hatred, bigotry, anger against Black people and strange customs you only see in the movies. I totally love it here at my program I have two kids who were gung HO bout moving to the beach (they go everyday almost). My daughter, 7, cried and cried about leaving her best friend but all that passed when the adventure began and we drove down South. How nice to live 10 minutes to the beach and 5 minutes to work. Everyone IS SO NICE here. I hate to have to leave to pursue surgery but I think the next adventure will turn out just as well. The others are right, your fellow residents will become you family, we all babysit for eachother and work together through call to get the work done. I would stay with your choice, if you loved it enough to rank it #1, then your mind was telling you what your heart can't right now. Honor your contrct, 3 years goes REALLY fast.

LECOM Class 2006
Osteopathic Family Practice Resdincy 2009
Locum Tenens: Urgent Care/Rural Medicine.

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11 years 10 months ago #63258 by plum
I guess as a MS-III with a little one I tend to say, follow your gut. If you are where you have a lot of support and think you will do better there then maybe take a year and start over or look for a spot outside. That said I don't quite know yet the ins and outs of the match but it sure seems like there should be some allowances for family things. What if you matched and then had a family tragedy or something, should that person then be ineligible if they didn't want to go to their program? I think the whole match thing is asinine. It is totally geared toward people who can just uproot which is not usually people with spouses with jobs and kids. But that is a separate issue.

It must be said I am someone who didn't mind being far away from family until I had my daughter and now all I want is for her to be near her grandparents and cousins. I CAN'T WAIT to be closer. I think it is reasonable to feel the way you feel. For someone to say she will "forget" about her cousins/friends? Do you really want her to forget them? If you live already where you want to settle and are happy there then I would try to stay there. Way less stress/expense.

We have friends (married no kids) who moved acrossed the country for residency and they only hang out with the other former med school classmates that matched there also. They say it is just too busy and too much work to try and make new friends/supports during residency. They do hang out with their fellow residents some but I guess all they talk about is work.
I know big moves work out great sometimes but they sometimes don't and I think you should go with your gut and where you would have the most support for your family.

Just my opinion. :)

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11 years 10 months ago #63259 by plum
PS-My daughter is a year old and my feelings about being closer to family have only become stronger. It is not just post-partum hormones.

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11 years 10 months ago #63260 by Doc201X

Originally posted by plum:
I think the whole match thing is asinine. It is totally geared toward people who can just uproot which is not usually people with spouses with jobs and kids.

Personally I think when you make the decision to pusue a career in medicine with a family, then you also agree to deal with the consequences of your choices. By the time I get to the match stage, I'll have an empty nest(YEAH!!) but even if I didn't because of DH's job, I'd likely be limited to matching in the area where we living at the time. And if that meant I didn't match, then so be it.

I wonder what the data is on married people (non medical spouse)and matching. Do most of them, especially those with kids move or do they try to stay where they are due to established ties?

My Scientist/Physician Journey
www.Doc201X.blogspot.com

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11 years 10 months ago #63261 by alkatz
i agree with the distaste of the expected mobility, but that is an unfortunate part of higher education in this country. That said, you do agree to this lifestyle if you want to be educated in a certain way. I hate it too, but accept that I have to deal with it.

I think being 3 yrs or so in one place is acceptable. you will have plenty of time to adjust. During the 3rd and 4th clinical years, having to live like gypsies, moving every month or so...not too bad single, but with a hubby, toddler, dog and cat, it will be very hard.
My school has recognized this and is trying to keep families more localized to an area, but we will see when that time comes.

If you find any studies, I would like to read them. Even married people going to in-state schools would be interesting.

The test of courage comes when we are in the minority. The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority. - Ralph W. Sockman

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11 years 10 months ago #63262 by alkatz
to add a comment, even for a bachelor degree, many people have to move out of state, etc, for this "basic" degree! If you are the typical fresh out of high school type, not such a big deal, but if you are non-traditional, even pursuing a BS/BA is difficult, let alone a degree on top of that!

The test of courage comes when we are in the minority. The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority. - Ralph W. Sockman

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