5 years 5 months ago - 5 years 5 months ago#94573by tr_
Family day care is care by a family member. In-home day care is care in a home by a non-family member (this encompasses both nannies and home-based day cares).
I'm totally not saying every kid should be in center care!! - The fatality rates are so low that it wouldn't at all make sense to make a child care decision only on that basis. I just wanted to clarify that when I said center care was safer, I didn't just make that up. It definitely factored into my decision for day care vs nanny, although if my kids had been getting sick all the time in day care, if they were chronically crying at drop-off or if I hadn't found the caregivers warm and loving I might well have made a different decision.
My daughter transitioned from an in-home daycare (woman in my neighborhood took care of her and 2 other children) to a daycare center/preschool at age 2.5 because we moved to a new state. Her old day-care provider was very motherly/grandmotherly, so she struggled with the transition and the more structured environment at first but eventually got use to it. She eventually went to kindergarten and was very well-prepared to deal with the structure, taking turns, raising your hand, etc. With regards to academics, I don't think my daughter learned anything at preschool. My husband and I taught her to read starting at age 4 using the book "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons." I think preschool is mostly good for socialization and getting used to a school-setting. I think you can wait till age 4 however to get this benefit. I am sure whatever you decide will be fine for your kids.
This is great information. Thanks for sharing your experiences!
English - I am especially relieved to know that you have been repeatedly able to find nannies you trust. Honestly, the idea of having a stranger taking care of my new baby was a huge stressor for me.
At this point we have reached a tentative compromise, as the daycare provider has agreed to part time care for our older child, and my husband has agreed to keep her as the provider for the new baby. Additionally I will be finding someone else to fill in for her and help him with mornings, nights, and kid transportation.
I still don't love the idea of preschool for my daughter, but it is good to know some of you have had success with this. Honestly, it was more important to me to maintain her current caregiver than to say no to school, so throwing the idea of a replacement nanny in there actually gave him more bargaining power in a way.
I don't know exactly why my husband is set on preschool. He did have a pretty rough childhood, so perhaps is trying to ensure a better experience for our kids. Why he threw it in so suddenly and insisted on it so fervently I'm not sure. He just decided on things sometimes and holds onto them like a bulldog.
I have also stressed a lot about childcare for my kids and in the end am not doing preschool for them. My boys are now 2 and 4.5 and our daytime care consists of a nanny x3 days and a mother and mother in law the other 2 days. We live 20 minutes away from any preschool option worth paying for. We can't really pay our nanny less even if she spends her morning dropping the kids off so we don't save any money. My mom comes to watch the kids so she can be with them, not so she can drive them around and though my mother in law doesn't say it in those words I think she feels the same.
The bottom line is, it's not like there is a right answer for every kid and family. I think preschool would be beneficial for my kids (especially the 4.5 year old to prepare him for kidnergarten) but honestly, it's really expensive, totally inconvenient, and I selfishly want him to continue the young scientist program, swim classes, and gymnastics classes that we sign him up for on the 3 days my nanny is here.
I've been trying to not feel bad about skipping out on preschool and I think that you should also do what is right for your family and just feel like you're making the best choices you can!