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Premed and Pregnant

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5 years 6 months ago #94705 by tr_

Doc201X wrote: But I also agree with Jacqueline Kennedy that if you screw up raising your kids, NOTHING else you do in life matters.


Agreed, but completely out of place here since you are implying that maternal employment increases likelihood of screwed-up kids. In fact, most available literature suggests the opposite.

sf.oxfordjournals.org/content/73/1/221.short
www.sciencemag.org/content/299/5612/1548.short
jpepsy.oxfordjournals.org/content/14/3/357.short

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5 years 6 months ago #94706 by southernmd
I know asunshine personally and literally she is an in-person friend of mine. I assure you, her kids are not screwed up. Quite the opposite. Am I understanding you are implying that it is your way done or we will screw our kids up?

Also - please clarify - I assume you apply these standards to men too, because parenting is not just a mother's job. There are two doing this at my house. So if that is the case, who are the engineers, doctors, lawyers, investment bankers, coders, Silicon Valley computer programmers then, because they must all be under 25 or over 65, because if not - all those middle-age women and men must be screwing their kids up or making poor career decisions based on your logic.

Also to add - I am currently DOING this job and I personally don't want to ramp up or do residency in my 60s. People may work 80 hours a week (and I did many weeks in a prior career also), but medicine FEELs different, and I can't imagine being a resident in my 50s or 60s.

I think the bottom line is that women and men should both be given consideration to pursue the STEM careers we want to encourage our children to pursue without limitations on them. People like asunshine and myself are doing this very hard career, and we are NOT screwing our kids up. And I think it is very chauvinistic to think that women have two time periods to pursue careers - prior to kids or when they are grown. I want to go to St. Martin like my father and my stepmother and fly to Celine Dion in Vegas on a jaunt when I like (he's so smitten its cute) in my 60s (their age) not work 80 hours a week. We have different desires.

I also think it is terrible to think the only people who CAN work other times is men. How chauvinistic! I guess they can do whatever they please and not screw their kids up? Women get all the wrist slaps there? Where is Sheryl Sandberg when I need her?

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5 years 6 months ago - 5 years 6 months ago #94707 by Doc201X

southernmd wrote: Also to add - I am currently DOING this job and I personally don't want to ramp up or do residency in my 60s. People may work 80 hours a week (and I did many weeks in a prior career also), but medicine FEELs different, and I can't imagine being a resident in my 50s or 60s.


And I couldn't imagine being a Resident in my 30s/40s while I was raising my family/caring for sick parents, so what's your point? You did what you had to do and I did what I had to do. The difference? The guilt I felt raising my kid was negligible and she turned out to be a successful young woman, SMASHING EVERY crass stereotype about girls like her.

FYI, The AVERAGE age for a Doc is mid 50's which means there are a TON of folks practicing into their 50's, 60's, and even 70's. Based on what I've seen, these tend to be doctors that took VERY good care of themselves, working out, maintaining a healthy weight, eating healthy, ect. things I do and have done for years!!

Sheryl Sandberg? I'll pass, I have my OWN family/friends to look up to as roles models of women who raised successful kids without nannies and %1 wealth.

BTW, Oldpremeds is where folks go "for residency in your 50's support" so don't worry, this site isn't in ANY danger of being applicable to the needs of students in their 40's, 50's, and beyond. :cool:

My Scientist/Physician Journey
www.Doc201X.blogspot.com
Last Edit: 5 years 6 months ago by .

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5 years 6 months ago #94708 by asunshine

Doc201X wrote: [ The difference? The guilt I felt raising my kid was negligible


But is there a difference? You seem to be operating under the assumption that mothers in medicine are inherently more guilty (and deserving of guilt) than those in any other vocation.

Also- Southern's whole lil family is delightful.

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5 years 6 months ago #94709 by Doc201X

asunshine wrote:

Doc201X wrote: [ The difference? The guilt I felt raising my kid was negligible


But is there a difference? You seem to be operating under the assumption that mothers in medicine are inherently more guilty (and deserving of guilt) than those in any other vocation.

Also- Southern's whole lil family is delightful.


Come on asunshine, ALL working mothers have some measure of guilt, no? And it's not a stretch to say that ANY super busy Mom away from their her kid(s) a lot, probably has more guilt than Moms who work part time. MomMD's are NOT the only Super Busy moms out there you know. Plus, 200 posts with the word "guilt " on this site in 1.5 years tells a bigger "story" than I ever could.

And no offense, but those super delightful kids you know must not be teenagers, I don't know ANY "delightful" teenage girls, even my own worked my nerves from time to time.

My Scientist/Physician Journey
www.Doc201X.blogspot.com

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5 years 6 months ago #94717 by asunshine
Nope. I won't come on. Guilt should be reserved for when someone has done something wrong. So when you imply to bright young mothers that a career in medicine will by itself cause one to "bungle raising your children", I will always take you to task.

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