I can say that there was ONE incidence that was a turning point in my decision to put off med school and that happened when my daughter was in elementary school when the administrators at the school tried to have her switched from her regular classes to special education. My daughter, the gifted IQ kid on a full scholarship, studying engineering in the Honor's society at her University.
I can look back now and say that I would have NEVER been comfortable putting myself in a position where I couldn't drop everything and put my foot in someone's hind parts over my kid, although over the years I made other "excuses" for putting things off. And trust me, I did play the "foot in hind parts game" a few more times over the years, even joining committees at the schools to make sure other Black/Brown kids weren't also targeted to special education!!!
Again, absolutely NO regrets and just ONE opportunity to do this right.
To the original poster - yes, I think it's doable to attend med school starting with a 2-4 year old. Sounds good, actually. I had my son before my clinical years and having an infant in 3rd year of med school was incredibly hard. Easier to be a resident now with a 4 year old. I'm married to another resident also so things are hard but we are doing ok with it.
And I will note my baby has needed special education/early intervention as well as a number of medical specialists to see him. And I play the "foot in the hind parts game," as Doc201x puts it, all the time. Like making phone calls and/or sending emails and/or scheduling meetings (yes, I do attend meetings! Even as a working mom!) to advocate for my son. I advocate for him constantly. I even "drop everything" if he needs me when I'm at work. These occurrences are rare, but when my child needs mom, he has mom. And I'm succeeding in my career also. It's possible. Hard, but possible.
I know a lot of mothers who do not feel guilty about having a career, and SAHMs who do. I don't feel guilty. I feel badly that I miss out on time with my kids. My kids will be fine. I will be fine, too, but it is not easy to feel like I am missing out sometimes. Guilt does imply we are doing something wrong. There is nothing wrong with being the primary breadwinner for my family. My husband and I have a very equitable home, and I am proud to raise boys who will not see gender stereotypes with regards to domestic chores and career in their home. I do feel guilty the first year the baby is born, but that is totally illogical. I think it is some weird hormone thing.
I saw an interview with Michelle Obama who said losing her nanny was the lowest point in motherhood for her. Made the think of you. She took her breast feeding infant to an interview because she couldn't arrange a sitter and got a job as a Vice President of a hospital. Pretty cool story even if you don't like the Obamas.
clee03m wrote: Guilt does imply we are doing something wrong.....I do feel guilty the first year the baby is born, but that is totally illogical. I think it is some weird hormone thing.
I think having guilt about being away from your child(ren) is pretty unique to women. I also think it's a perfectly natural way to feel.
But there are extremes to this thing called guilt. Does the mother who had to leave her kids in a hot car to go on a job interview feel guilty for leaving her kids there? Probably. Would she feel even more so if one of her kids died in that hot car while she was in that interview? I'm betting she would.
The thing about guilt for me is about being able to live with it. So far for me, I can live with the Mommy guilt moments I did have as few and far between as they were because my kid turned out great. I'd probably feel differently had I not been able to be there for her for whatever reason and she not turend out so great.
As for the Obama example, anyone ever wonder why Michelle didn't continue in a "regular career" when she became FLOTUS? I'm betting that's it's because it would have been damn near impossible for her to do that well, be FLOTUS, AND be there for her kids all at the same time.
Putting your career on hold like Michelle Obama, until your kids get older? Now there's a GREAT idea!
Why is that acceptable, but we aren't commenting about POTUS still working through his kids are older? Why are moms supposed to put their career on hold, but men get to be POTUS? Why can't we encourage our little girls to be POTUS and not have to worry about being told they really ought to wait til their children are older before enjoying a career, but the men - well, they don't have to worry about that - they can go ahead and be POTUS?