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Premed and Pregnant

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5 years 6 months ago #94690 by Ap11274673
Thanks for all of the replies! I honestly want the best for any children that I may/will have, and everything mentioned has given me encouragement. I do believe that women can have demanding careers and still be wonderful mothers - I am just a little bit intimidated at this point about potentially doing it myself ;) There is still a good amount of time before I have to make any of these decisions though, and I really appreciate all of the advice!

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5 years 6 months ago #94694 by Doc201X

asunshine wrote: My mom was a SAHM, and my brother has a mental illness and can't keep a job. You'd better believe people would be shaming her her whole life (and she would have been shaming herself) had she been a doctor instead of a SAHM.

I see mental illness as a medical condition. So if people were shaming your mother for having a kid with a medical condition, then the shame is on THEM. IMHO, that has absolutely NOTHING to do with my point.

asunshine wrote: You do the best you can with There is no shame or guilt inherent in being a mother in medicine.


I doubt the youngish grandma MD would agree with that.

A search of the word "guilt" on mommd resulted in 200 hits between 2/2013 and today. And it topped out at 200, so if the search could include ALL the hits on this site and not just a period of just 1.5 years, I'm certain the total would be significantly higher.

The truth never hurt anyone but not evaluating the negatives AND positives of the decisions we make that effect more than just ourselves, certainly can.

My Scientist/Physician Journey
www.Doc201X.blogspot.com

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5 years 6 months ago #94695 by asunshine

asunshine wrote: [

There is no shame or guilt inherent in being a mother in medicine.


My statement still stands. Parents who pursue medicine are doing nothing inherently shameful and should not be treated as if they are.

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5 years 6 months ago #94696 by Reviliver
This is my first post, but I feel compelled to point out that many of my med school classmates have moms who are physicians. Although it may have been easier for them to get there, being inbred and all ;), they made it to med school AND their inside view of medicine made them want to become physicians! I'm the daughter of a single, working mom myself. It's useless to generalize in this case, either negatively or positively, because what matters is each mom's priorities and her relationship with her kids.
Ap11274673, you will be able to enter med school knowing how you feel spending time away from your kid, and already having experience juggling a child between 2 working parents. I think that will provide you with great perspective.

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5 years 6 months ago #94699 by southernmd
I feel I need to chime in also. I had my child second year of medical school, and it was hard, and there were times I wished I were home more (as does every working mom I know), but we were together as a family a lot, and I don't regret that decision. Residency now has been really really difficult, especially intern year, but we made a point to hold him out of daycare/preschool on my days off and do activities together, be present with him, and now that I'm in my specialty, I have my weekends off, and I pick him up from preschool every single day. I thank God every day I chose my program - honest to goodness. I literally just last night told my husband I feel very connected to him, and I am just so glad. It can be done, but it is like choosing any other demanding job - coding, investment banking, business, a job that travels - you have to work on spending time with your family when you can. I don't think that medicine is anything more special than these. Do we really want to tell mothers out there they shouldn't choose a high-powered job, because their children are young? I am now pregnant again, and it will be hard, but I am not afraid, and I don't think my children will suffer. We are doing great so far.

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5 years 6 months ago #94704 by Doc201X

asunshine wrote:

asunshine wrote: [

There is no shame or guilt inherent in being a mother in medicine.


My statement still stands. Parents who pursue medicine are doing nothing inherently shameful and should not be treated as if they are.


I agree with your statement and I spend PLENTY of time ignoring naysayers with an MD/PhD goal. With the right support in place ANYTHING can be done but should it be done (or done later) is an entirely different question, unique to each individual.

But I also agree with Jacqueline Kennedy that if you screw up raising your kids, NOTHING else you do in life matters.

My Scientist/Physician Journey
www.Doc201X.blogspot.com

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