How many of you guys find yourselves letting your stress affect the way you interact with your child? Today, I didn't have the time to cook dinner for my daughter, b/c of the overwhelming amounts of school-work I need to do here in the last week of school. I caught myself scolding her for the littlest thing. She got ketchup on her sweatshirt, so I got aggitated, but held back. Then, she got cheese on her sweatshirt, and I started going off... I told her that if she got ONE more thing on her sweatshirt, she'd get in trouble. I knew I was wrong, yet I had to take a moment to calm down. When we got home, I apologized to her and told her I loved her and I thanked her for being patient with me (cuz she was being VERY patient with me). I feel so terrible about it. Stress really affects me in a negative way.
I need to find a way where I don't stress out so much, and where I stop letting it turn me into the devil, especially b/c I don't want to eventually end up hurting my daughter's feelings... I'm pretty darn sure it wasn't PMS ( :boggled:
I know EXACTLY what you're talking about.....it has happened to me, it has gotten much better since I have made a conscious effort not to get so short/nerved out with the kids when Im stressed. I started the change when I noticed what I was doing, my dtr and I had a heart to heart talk, I apologized...ended up telling her that if I ever got like that again to call it to my attention by saying " Mom, you are being a grump again!!", I told her I would not get mad by her saying that. She hasnt had to yet, but I have gotten somewhat short with her since. So I guess you are on your way to change since you have first, recognized your behavior/reactions to stress, now it is what you are going to do about it. For me, I try to think to myself when Im having those feelings "Who cares if this one did this, or that---it is sooo minor.....the problem is my mood." Each person has to develop his or her own way to have self-control---Im not totally in control, but I am much better!
I have that problem to, of taking minor things and blowing them out of proportion. I feel so guilty for doing it, because mine are just babies and I know they don't know better.
I have really tried to work on this though. Right now I just feel like I am being pulled in every direction:Babies, work, School. I am just getting to where, Something has to go. It's going to have to be work and that is stressful due to financial reasons. :yes:
I hope your stress goes down! Erin
For me, I've had to be aware of my own tendency to be a perfectionist. Sometimes, I have to let go of worrying about dinner and just sit on the couch with the kids. Or, we need to eat PB&J rather than something hot with lots of vegetables, or the laundry may need to pile up one more day. I really need to remember to pick the right priorities. And, it's hard to choose when everything piles up on you real gradually and suddenly you find yourself drowning!
It can be exhausting, but I do know I don't want me kids to remember me as grumpy!
Thanks for the replies... I'm certainly not alone. I hope you guys aren't getting too overwhelmed with everything, especially since you're balancing alot. That's what I love about this site... people always know what you're going through, they always know what to say.
Well, I feel much better, especially b/c I've really taken the time to just think about my life... and how to keep everything in perspective, rationally.
ONE final left! Tomorrow evening, I'll be a free woman... for at least... 13 days!!!
That's a difficult problem. After the first semester of medical school, I saw the potential for out-of-control stress. I decided that the best grades weren't worth the trade-off. When I find myself doing "bad parent" things (that's how I always think about them when I'm the perpetrator), I find some time alone and relax, breathe, and reflect. I make a conscious decision about how I will behave the next time I'm in that situation, and I apologize to my child for having said or done things that hurt him.
I don't know if that's the right or wrong way to handle it, but I figure that as long as I'm trying to do better it's gotta be better than NOT trying to do better (if that makes any sense at all) :boggled: