× Family & Parenting

Sigh. (Long late night rant)

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10 years 9 months ago #43748 by Doc201X
Good for the both of you!! Now you have to write a book about how you got to this point!

My Scientist/Physician Journey
www.Doc201X.blogspot.com

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10 years 9 months ago #43749 by DocM
Great News!

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10 years 9 months ago #43750 by kpzr/9145
Popcorn
People do recover from alcoholism. Or technically I guess they are always in recovery. So, there is hope.

Let me tell you about my story. My brother is an alcoholic. I have had no contact with him for over five years, until I had to call him and tell him our father died this winter. One of the hardest things I ever did. Anyway, long story as to why I broke off contact but suffice it to say I was tired of having my whole life jerked around because of him. I was tired of supporting his habit. Finally I told him I could not have any contact with him as long as he was using and drinking and... he chose drugs and alcohol over me. But that was ok. Now he claims to be sober and want to get together. I did tell him way back when that if and when he was sober, he would be part of my family again. And I want to honor that promise. But I am still so cautious as he has lied about not drinking many, many times before. So that is the perspective I am coming from. I am about to give him a second chance. But, I have my boundaries very firmly drawn. I need to protect myself and my family first.

kpzr

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10 years 5 months ago #43751 by Popcorn
Well, the road is never smooth...

To summarize the summer, he came home and did well for about a month (June), and relapsed in July. It was slow and sneaky, but July 30th he was acting very strangely. He still insisted that he wasn't drinking, so I announced that he obviously had some sore of metabolic derangement, and we were going to the ER to check his labs. (DKA not being a farfetched explanation for his actions.) Anyway, he fessed up, and 2 beers became 6, and his bal was 300.

He wanted a librium taper and refused to go back to residential treatment. He swore he tapered back off, but the behaviors continued, the lying, I found beer, and lots of it.

Our 10th anniversary was the 4th of Sept. By then, things were very much falling apart, and I think I have finally had it. That night, I asked for a divorce.

He's fighting tooth and nail, so he thinks. He's now going to do an intensive outpatient treatment program (3 nights a week for 3 hours each), but I have to admit that I'm skeptical. Very skeptical. I just don't care anymore. We got home from a meeting with our counselor at noon, and I happened to walk around the house as he was putting a couple of beers in the freezer. He just doesn't get it, and saying that he is "doing everything he can" just isn't cutting it.

He has 3 weeks before he flies back to visit his parents, and there's a significant possibility that he won't be coming back. He says he's desparate to save the marriage; I tell him that there's nothing left to save.

So I've played my cards. I just have to make it a few more weeks. My family has been incredibly supportive, and I'm just going to stay busy in the meantime. I just don't see him succeeding, and failure this time, well, I think I've already crossed the line at which point I just don't care.

It takes 2 to make a marriage work, and I've been the only one for the last 7-8 years. And I'm tired of it, and I want out. I'm not working on it anymore, which he apparently doesn't get.

Just figured I'd update you all on my not-so-happily-ever.

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10 years 5 months ago #43752 by DocM
I'm so sorry Popcorn. My thoughts are with you.

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10 years 5 months ago #43753 by LauraMD
Popcorn, I've been following your story, and I'm sorry to hear it's turned out this way. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Be good to yourself.

Laura

And when they carve my stone, all they need to write on it is, "Once lived a man who got all he ever wanted..." --Ty Herndon

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