Oh my gosh peanuts, so sorry to read that. I'm not even really sure what to say, other than, feel free to share your thoughts here and we are happy to all support you. I can't imagine having the bottom drop out of my world like that...
I'm an anesthesia resident and our program gives some substance abuse lectures when we start anesthesia and they totally freaked me out. It's like a 10% abuse rate. The problem is, we have access to really dangerous drugs. Sometimes (I'm sure you've heard) the first sign is when someone has overdosed. I'm assuming that wasn't the case for you, and perhaps that is the only bright side to all of this.
Thank you for your kind words. There have actually been a lot of bright sides to this. I was in kind of a bad mood last night.
It is good to have my husband back. I am hopeful that this will be the last of his drug use, and he will be the happy, healthy man he is now forever. I am so thankful that I didn't have to go through what Popcorn did with her husband and force him into treatment. I was in complete denial that anything was wrong at all until he came home and told me he had been caught, and he was going to treatment later that week.
I was elated when he first got home from rehab. He seemed like a completely different person. He was intense about his treatment, just like he is about everything.
I am worried he is going to relapse though. I don't know what I will do if he does.
If my story helps another woman struggling with a similar issue, then it was worth telling it. Addiction is far more common than most people realize, because we are really good at hiding it!
Relapse is unfortunately a fact of life with addiction, and let me tell you, worrying about it is hell. There is an Al-Anon adage that you didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. Because YOU can't.
Get thee to a therapist and consider a nar-anon or al-anon group. Your feelings are NORMAL, and there's no way in hell I would have maintained any semblance of sanity without al-anon.
Popcorn, glad to hear your update. I am glad that Al-Anon has been there for you. That is an amazing organization. I read their materials often although I don't often go to meetings.
Peanuts, I am sorry to hear of your husbands problems. It happens. Of course, you probably never thought it would happen in your marriage or your family. In my state, the state medical society has funding to help physicians who are in your husband's place. It is financial support for the physicans and their families who are affected by drug use/legal problems. Many physicians and their families have accepted this help and many of these physicians have recovered and gone back to practice successfully.
I hope there is something similar in your state.
Peanuts, you have a right to feel angry and betrayed by your husband. Please update and let us know how things are going. And remember, you are not alone. Others are going through/have gone through similar things even though people don't talk about it.