I wondered how many of you, if you could (and your partner was willing) would prefer to be the sole breadwinner, and would prefer your husband to be a stay at home dad. I guess my deeper question is, why aren't more fathers interested in this option?
The expectation by most people that the wife should be the stay at home mother (if one partner will be staying home) instead of the husband really bothers me.
My husband is pretty much a stay at home step-dad. Since I am on rotations he takes care of the kids in the morning, gets them to school, picks them up, does the laundry, housework, dishes, lawn, makes the bed and makes sure the homework is done. I usually get home about 4:30 on most rotations so the food is ready to cook when I walk in the door and we all sit down together for a family meal. He worked his schedule (he's a nurse's aide) where he works 7p-3a to gets his hours in without conflicting with mine. It is very very nice to have an older husband who is very comfortable with himself and is not intimidated at all by me being a physician. He is happy with his job and life choices and much preferes to stay at home with the kids and let me go to work. I don't know why more men do this, it seems ideal if you can stand being at home.
LECOM Class 2006
Osteopathic Family Practice Resdincy 2009
Locum Tenens: Urgent Care/Rural Medicine.
Mine has been doing it for 2 years and is soooo over it now. He loves the kids, but he has had enough. It is 1000x harder for a dad to stay at home for one simple reason: lack of support. There are MOTHER'S DAY OUT programs everywhere- not fathers. There are MOMS OF PRESCHOOLERS groups everywhere. The McDonald's has a changing room in the WOMENS bathroom, not in the mens'. You name it. His family members are totally unsupportive, his old friends from work can't relate, most of the moms he meets are clique-ish and don't want a guy in their group- so basically he has absolutely no one to talk to and no support other than me. He did take our older son to Kindermusik, where the teacher was at least nice to him, but he's been in hundreds of other situations where people have been irritated with him. Worse, now that he's ready to go back to work, he can't find a job. He gave up a great job to stay home with our older son when I started 3rd year. Now h e's been looking for almost a year, but no one seems to want to hire a guy who's been home changing diapers for 2 years. He's probably going to end up taking a temp or adjunct faculty job somewhere, just to get back in through the back door.
In short, he's miserable. I'm miserable. Please think hard before you ask your guy to give up his career for the kids.
I love this question? I have thought about this many times. I even mentioned to my hubby on several occasions. He said NO WAY!!!! I asked why, he mentioned that he has to work. He loves his children, but could not be home all day 24/7. He understands or expressed how much work I do and my JOB is much more difficult. He says he just could not do it.
I have a friend's hubby who is a sahd and loves it. He has been home for 11 years now. They have 4 girls and he loves it. He cleans, cooks and shops. He does it all. My friend decided that she was making much more than her hubby and asked if he would like to stay at home.. He said, YES! The rest is history. The only thing I find interesting is he had an article done on SAHD and had a big party in his town. Now I find that sad. We MOMS do this day in and out and we do not get anything fun, or trophys to express how awesome we are
I guess men need this type of thing
Well anyway that is my :twocents:
Michelle<br /><br />"Becoming a Doctor will complete my lifelong dream!"
My fiance has been doing it for almost 3 years! It works out great,except he's been slacking on the cleaning lately!We both go to school and I also work full-time.When our son was born I had a more stable job than he did so it just made sense.He goes to school part-time on my days off.
my husband is at-home dad but it didn't work for us -- brought out existing stresses in the marriage. I think it's important that the husband at least keeps outside interests so he is ready to turn things over to mom when she gets home from work. there are at least 2 couples in our neighborhood that it is working for; so I think my experience may be unusual