× Family & Parenting

Want to divorce, not much support, older children

More
11 years 3 months ago #45410 by RitaHayworth
Thank you for everyone's responses. It helps me to have the courage to pursue this path.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
11 years 3 months ago #45411 by fearlessphoenix
Path is spot on - my sister and I were latch key since 7-8yo and did terrific no problems at all - I also wonder why my parents stayed married and still seem so miserable - I would take Path's advice and only add to get cell phones for them where you have free in network or family plan calling to keep the communication open - it adds to everyone's confidence in the latch key after school activity things . . .

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
11 years 3 months ago #45412 by sisriver
My kids are latch-key kids that are younger than yours and it works fine (of course the teen years are rapidly approaching and I'm aware that some 'policing' will have to go on then) although we are quiet about it. my separated/husband lives 6 blocks away and that's been very helpful in keeping a similar routine going as when we were a one-household family. It's taken me a very long time to deal with my own personal negative judgement toward divorce. But now I have a negative judgement about dysfunctional marriages instead - there is an entire spectrum, and the important thing I've found is that the kids remain in an overall supportive environment whether the parents are married and happy, married and mildly unhappy, separated/divorced and/or remarried. So a weighing must happen, I suppose: has the discouragement become so intense that it's weighing down the children too?? Divorce is hard, because the spouse that has been 'oppressed' within the marriage finally speaks out against the oppressive spouse (this in my case anyway) who in all likelihood will try everything to reject what is said. It takes years to work thru this. I think in my case we are finally getting to a place where there can be a friendship, but the denial on his part is still in place and I am finding a way to try and accept that.
Especially if you have a daughter, it is probably very important that you find a way toward your own happiness as a model for her.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
11 years 3 months ago #45413 by Doc201X

Originally posted by sisriver:
But now I have a negative judgement about dysfunctional marriages instead -

Amen sista (as in women), amen!

I'm just so happy to finally see some realistic talk about marriage on Mommd! :yes: Still I'm in awe of the women who have not let divorce prevent them from moving from med school and residency (Kathy, DO comes to mind). You guys are amazing!!!

So, group hug to all of us who have survived divorce and to those who unfortunately may go through it. :grouphug:

Double group hug to those women needlessly suffering in bad marriages. :grouphug: :grouphug:

My Scientist/Physician Journey
www.Doc201X.blogspot.com

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
11 years 3 months ago #45414 by fearlessphoenix
I talk to my divorce attorney on Friday . . . finally am calling it like it is - A is A and B is B and no amount of wishing differently is going to make it different - have been making decision since last January . . .

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
11 years 3 months ago #45415 by RitaHayworth
Wow, its sounds like there are other women in my situation (acutally going through divorce right now). I'm so grateful for all the responses. Fearless, if you've been debating since January, you know what its like to keep weighing back and forth, back and forth.

Regarding taking an immediate job, I still have some classes to take (mainly labs) to finish up my prerequisites. I definitely don't want to stay in my house (can't afford the mortgage) and with the market the way it is, it won't sell (over $400,000) immediately. So I thought that perhaps I could find a cheap apartment close to ex and live off of child support/alimony, and maybe qualify for some loans at school (although I've already used that for my graduate degree). I'm not beneath applying for food stamps or housing help. Just to get through these next two semesters of finishing up prereqs. I just need to get past them, and then if I don't get accepted into my state med school (likely), I'll get a job for that next year. Any tips?

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Moderators: TexasRoseefex101mommd2b
Time to create page: 0.218 seconds
Find us on Facebook!
Find us on Twitter!
Find us on Pinterest!